Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: kurt wagner

As Mentioned in Episode 264 – Autotune the Phalanx

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Symbolism, Douglock. It’s full of Symbolism. (Excalibur #78)
Aw, these kids. (Excalibur #78)
Seriously, though, it’s really easy to imagine them breaking into song at this point. (Excalibur #78)
Ouch. (Excalibur #78)
We do not recommend doing this, for a lot of reasons. (Excalibur #78)
Ouch. (Excalibur #78)
They’re so dramatic! (Excalibur #79)
Courtney Camperson is a very good moppet. (Excalibur #79)
Damn, Kitty. That was uncalled for. (Excalibur #79)
WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO MEAN TO ROBOTS (Excalibur #80)
Aw, kiddo. (Excalibur #80)
The juxtaposition of what actually happens in these pages with what Stryfe assumed would happen is such a good use of the medium. (Excalibur #80)
(Excalibur #80)
Dang, Amanda Conner. DANG. (Excalibur #80)
I don’t entirely know how to process charming Charles Xavier. (Excalibur #78)
CHARLES, YOU SCAMP! (Excalibur #79)
“But watch out if anyone approaches you about, like, becoming pope. That won’t end well.” (Excalibur #80)
NEXT EPISODE: Star crossed… IN SPACE!

264 – Autotune the Phalanx

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we celebrate our 100th episode with producer Matt Hunter; you should always be kind to robots; Stryfe has a lot of very petty contingency plans; Britanic is bad at helping; we explore a peculiar pairing of book and arc; Charles Xavier has his moments; and Zero and Douglock defiy destiny.

X-PLAINED:

  • The current occupant of Fantomex’s body
  • Excalibur #78-80
  • The Douglock “chronicles”
  • Zero
  • Douglock
  • Several feelings
  • Britanic (again)
  • Camping fonts
  • Drones
  • Radio Shack
  • Helping
  • Pentagon-sense
  • What being human is all about
  • Charles Xavier, hero of the beach
  • Rory Campbell’s voice
  • Technoorganic vs. transmode viruses
  • Kymera

NEXT EPISODE: Star-crossed in space!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 256 – Mullets of Time and Space

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Always aspire to a higher level of time paradox! (Excalibur #75)
How much extra creepiness does this already creepy scene get from the bolding of “his”? (Excalibur #75)
It’s his girlfriend. He called and asked her to come over. There is literally no reason that this should be so mysterious and pseudo-suspenseful. (Excalibur #75)
You do you, Amanda. (Excalibur #75)
PITCH: “What if only Captain Britain’s arms had returned from the timestream?” (Excalibur #75)
If you need me, I will be over here having FEELINGS about the lack of official acknowledgement of this relationship. (Excalibur #75)
“I was going to have some really dubious facial hair.” (Excalibur #75)
This better be worth it. (Excalibur #75)
[Ron Howard narrator voice] It was not worth it. (Excalibur #75)
GET IT? GET IT? GET IT? (Excalibur #75)
I hope you’re happy in the life you’ve chosen for yourself. (Excalibur #76)
“I mean, for some value of the term.” (Excalibur #76)
Well, that’s portentous. (Excalibur #76)
This is UNQUESTIONABLY the face of a man who has attempted to eat a toaster, a tube of lipstick, and several telephones. (Excalibur #76)
Nightcrawler, in his moppet days. (Excalibur #76)
I don’t understand D’Spayre’s torso muscles; and, frankly, I don’t care to. (Excalibur #76)
SEE WHAT I MEAN?! (Excalibur #77)
D’Spayre’s only weaknesses are joy and, by remarkable coincidence, children named Amil. (Excalibur #77)
WHAT?! (Excalibur #77)
The cutest pin-up. (Excalibur #77)
NEXT EPISODE: The adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

256 – Mullets of Time and Space

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you raised a lot of money for Trans Lifeline; we continue to miss Alan Davis; Rory Campbell should not be narrating a climactic event; Daytripper needs to dial up her eldritch patter; the universe is dubiously self-correcting; Britannic is not nearly weird enough; and we have ongoing concerns about the anatomy of incarnate concepts.

X-PLAINED:

  • The X-Men of Earth-77995
  • Excalibur #75-77
  • Daytripper
  • A somewhat pointless sacrifice
  • Rough times in the timestream
  • Britannic
  • X-theology
  • D’Spayre’s butt
  • The rest of D’Spayre
  • Margali Szardos
  • The blood-brain barrier
  • Acrobatic flirtation
  • The Winding Way
  • Stark emptiness
  • A shocking possible resurrection
  • Major X
  • Essential characters

NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 249 – The Parent Trap

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Sieniewicz, ahoy! (X-Men Unlimited #3)
I can’t stop imagining some poor craftsman meticulously working on this window and then disappearing forever. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
We have fun. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
“We’ll kill him sometime between 8 AM and maybe about 1 PM on Monday, unless we have to cancel.” (X-Men Unlimited #3)
I like this guy. He’s sensible and he dresses like a Capcom protagonist. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
Spoiler: Nah. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
Maverick is pretty much the worst houseguest. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
THAT FACE. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
Supersenses out of nowhere would be pretty awful. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
Damn, Creed. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
I like that it’s unclear which of them constitutes the main threat in this horror scene. (X-Men Unlimited #3)
How much funnier would this cover have been with Graydon? (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Mystique takes pride in her murder-work. (X-Men Unlimited #4)
After he storms out, the camera goes soft-focus and she sings “Somewhere That’s Green.” (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Parenting lessons with Kurt Wagner! (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Mystique is so classy. (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Nobody will tell him. It’s the tragedy equivalent of a running joke. (X-Men Unlimited #4)
This kid! (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Family is where the skulls are. (X-Men Unlimited #4)
And you thought Summers family reunions were awkward! (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Moms, amirite? (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Oof, that footnote. (X-Men Unlimited #4)
Family! (X-Men Unlimited #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Fabian Nicieza!

LINKS & FURTHER MUTATIONS:

249 – The Parent Trap

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sabretooth is weirdly ubiquitous; Maverick is a terrible guest; not all second chances are equivalent; Graydon Creed is the red delicious apple of people; Mystique is the master of murder monologues; and the Darkholmes give the Summers family a run for its dysfunctional money.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Men Unlimited #3-4
  • Sabretooth (more) (again)
  • Emergency back-up Wolverine
  • Faces
  • A stained-glass window that is probably a metaphor
  • Evocation
  • Maverick’s nose
  • Maverick’s manners
  • Commcast (but not that one)
  • Sabretooth’s mind
  • The “mystery” of Nightcrawler’s parentage
  • Mystique’s murder monologues
  • Killing Eve
  • The skull of friendship
  • Several versions of Nightcrawler’s backstory
  • Glove magic
  • One way to get out of an awkward family conversation
  • The ‘90s X-Men cartoon
  • Character migration between media

NEXT EPISODE: Fabian Nicieza!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 248 – Destructo Woman

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Sure! Why not? What could POSSIBLY go wrong? (Excalibur #72)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #73)
Damnit, Siena Blaze. (Excalibur #73)
Phoenix demands proportionate arms! (Excalibur #73)
I don’t know why the fact that Moira kept Proteus’s entire genome on CD-ROM strikes me as hilarious; but it really, really does. (Excalibur #73)
Yelling in the Timestream: The Brian Braddock and Rachel Summers Story. (Excalibur #74)
You see the eyes, right? (Excalibur #74)
The odds that Mr. Sinister got that knife at a mall kiosk are basically 100%. (Excalibur #74)
You’re a good kid, Jubilee. (Excalibur #74)
I like to think they’re both just yelling. (X-Force #31)
The garden is a metaphor that is also a real garden. (X-Force #31)
Why is this random blonde dude so hung up on the Cassidy family? We’ll never know. (X-Force #31)
I just really love those yelling pages. (X-Force #31)
“And yet, despite all those years of gardening, I’m still not sure how to hold a rake.” (X-Force #31)
He’s an angry tree, but he’s an angry tree who cares. (X-Force #31)
NEXT EPISODE: More family fun!

248 – Destructo Woman

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Tom Cassidy and Cain Marko may be the most stable couple in the Marvel Universe; Rory Campbell is no Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau; Siena Blaze remains a big jerk; the Cassidy family has some issues; and we are dismayed by an inexplicable dearth of leprechauns.

X-PLAINED:

  • Birthday presents
  • What Excalibur has been up to
  • Excalibur #72-74
  • X-Force #31
  • How to be mysterious
  • The Proteus Room
  • The continually terrible choices of Moira MacTaggert
  • Porridge ghosts
  • An unnatural disaster
  • Chekhov’s solid rock
  • Rory Campbell
  • Destructo Woman
  • Limitations of CD-ROMs
  • Siryn (Theresa Cassidy)
  • The Cassidy family
  • How not to treat a gunshot wound
  • Kelvin Donaghann and his fancy hair
  • An intervention
  • The future of the New Mutants feature film
  • Underwear

NEXT EPISODE: Family Reunion!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 236 – Baggage of Traumas Past

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
THAT’S the image I always remember from this scene. (Wolverine #75)
The inside of Wolverine’s mind is surprisingly derivative. (Wolverine #75)
Throes of the Phoenix Saga… Wolverine #75)
Scott is clearly with me on this reading. (Wolverine #75)
There are a lot of people who would have made more sense than Illyana here. (Wolverine #75)
IN THIS HOUSE WE STAN JEAN GREY. (Wolverine #75)
Aw. (Wolverine #75)
That. Sound. Effect. (Wolverine #75)
One very good day to frame a conversation. (Wolverine #75)
I hate it when I get extra body parts via retcon. (Wolverine #75)
Use as you see fit. (Wolverine #75)
And then, everything got awkward. (Excalibur #71)
How you know something big is going on and/or your sales are flagging. (Excalibur #71)
Professor Xavier is a JERK. (Excalibur #71)
Ouch. (Excalibur #71)
Meanwhile in the B-Plot… (Excalibur #71)
AW. (Excalibur #71)
Aw, man, my heart. (Excalibur #71)
WELL THAT WAS A SURPRISE. (Excalibur #71)
Aw, Piotr. I’d like to say that it gets better for him from here, but… (Excalibur #71)
Has anyone ever rocked a blue-and-gold Phoenix costume? It’s not half bad! (Excalibur #71)
NEXT EPISODE: Time to get X-TREME!

LINKS & FURTHER CLONES:

236 – Baggage of Traumas Past (Fatal Attractions, Part 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Decimation was kind of sketchy; you should definitely come see us in Seattle; Wolverine has a rough day; Colossus has yet another rough day; Excalibur plans for the future; and Fatal Attractions comes to a close.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Professor X got his groove and/or powers back
  • Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
  • Wolverine #75
  • Excalibur #71
  • Psychic trauma
  • High-stakes references
  • The personal Ragnarok of a shattered soul
  • A really effective sound effect
  • The first day of the rest of Logan’s life
  • Butterflies of the Xavier School
  • Muir Island’s psychiatric ward
  • Medical consent
  • The worst bar, probably
  • Professorial disambiguation
  • What Micromax and Kyluun are probably definitely up to
  • Several variably awkward Grey-Summers family reunions
  • A betrayal
  • Amelia Voght
  • Unuscione
  • Katu
  • The future of Excalibur
  • Proactive superheroism
  • How not to make a White Russian
  • Shadowcat’s recovery post-Mutant Massacre
  • Our etymological destinies

NEXT EPISODE: It’s time to get X-TREME!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!