New Mutants – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 464 – The Cigarettes of Damocles

October 3, 2024 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

The life of a Lyft driver is wild, man. (X-Force #96)

“Weirdest cigarette I ever seen.” (X-Force #96)

So Thomas/Tyler Guthrie is the Super Saiyan version of Sam? (X-Force #96)

Somebody call Occult Animal Control! (X-Force #96)

The award for Most Dramatic Lounging goes to… (X-Force #96)

Okay, Deviants, just because you look cool doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be bigoted jerks. (X-Force #96)

Sledge is wearing his ass-kicking fringe. (X-Force #96)

Lucas owns better socks – he just wears these for effect. (X-Force #96)

What we like about Selene is that she’s subtle. (X-Force #97)

Wow, healthcare really is better in other countries. (X-Force #97)

Hey, it’s a The Predator! Hello, The Predator! (X-Force #97)

Ah, so that’s how Ash Wednesday works! (X-Force #97)

Does this junkyard robo-dog fight contribute to the plot? No. Is it awesome? Obviously. (X-Force #97)

Selene is seriously never in a normal position! And we love it. (X-Force #97)

I’m pretty sure that Odysseus’s powers just made a BOI-OI-OING sound. (X-Force #97)

GNORFF (X-Force #97)

Yeah, DaCosta is da best! (X-Force #98)

Storm : Enclosed Spaces :: Cannonball : Dying Miners (X-Force #98)

Sunspot attends Selene’s art gallery opening, Concerned and X-Treme. (X-Force #98)

I never get tired of how Mephisto wears a trenchcoat like any given World of Darkness character. (X-Force #98)

Oof, that body language. (X-Force #98)

Jeez, I guess Miles could’ve skipped those four years of psychology. (X-Force #98)

YIPE YIPE YIPE (X-Force #98)

“So you see, that’s where the trouble began. That smile. That damned smile.” (X-Force #98)

NEXT TIME: Prepare to be Astonished! Maybe!

464 – The Cigarettes of Damocles

September 29, 2024 Jay 8 comments

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In which X-Force is kind of silly; that really isn’t what “quantum” means; polite and lawful are two entirely different things, and Sam Guthrie is only one of them; Selene vogues; and the Hellfire Club plays the dead girlfriend card.

X-PLAINED:

Blackheart
The Damocles Foundation (more) (again)
Lucas Bartholomew Guthrie
The difference between prisons and jails
X-Force #98-98
Whether Dr. Octopus enjoys the literary stylings of Elmore Leonard
One way to get out of prison
The Glitterbox
An unsuccessful heist
Celestial cigarettes and/or golems
Thomas and/or Tyler Zebulon and/or Zeke Guthrie
Demon Bears as urban pests
Selene, Always Voguing
Gatherers
Various evil scientists
The Sword
Junkyard life
Lenny Delmonico
Psychic rodeos
Nightmare chambers
Bat sex
An offer Sunspot can’t refuse
Hank McCoy’s villain arc
New Mutant superlatives

NEXT EPISODE: Astonishing X-Men!

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463 – The Fart Ghost That Walks Like a Manhattan

September 22, 2024 Jay 5 comments

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In which Gambit is fundamentally goofy; t’ieves love research; Magneto was ripped; Professor Xavier remains a jerk; Miles attempts to convey something very fundamentally visual in an audio format; Marrow is adorable; the X-Men pretty much disband (again); and a miniseries is the opposite of a vacation.

X-PLAINED:

Where Wolverine went
Gambit Annual 1999
Uncanny X-Men #372
X-Men #92
A lot of backstory
A very cute plastic goose
What Gambit does in his free time
Those weird fluid-filled tubes they put people in all the time for some reason
Gambit’s abs
The fart ghost (Mary Purcell)
Manhattan, Indiana
A very minor continuity error
Fart ghost metaphysics
A very bad idea
A muppetworthy death
Dream’s various ends
X-pajamas
Professional dinosaurs
Thinkers
Theoretical Cyclops-Daredevil team-ups
X-characters recognizable as civilians

NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Damocles Foundation!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 401 – True Tales of Double-Entry Bookkeeping

February 12, 2023 Miles 2 comments

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“Jack, I served with Cannonball, I knew Cannonball, Cannonball was a brother of mine. Jack, you are no Cannonball.” (Generation X #32)

smek (Generation X #32)

David Bowie and Hacker T. Dog. (New Mutants #92)

I’ve missed 80s Boom-Boom. Yeep! (New Mutants #92)

The character find of 1990. (New Mutants #92)

“This haunted house is nuts, especially that broccoli guy! We need to tell Jean Grey about it and make sure she wears that Phoenix outfit when she comes to visit!” (New Mutants #92)

Did we cover this issue mostly for 80s Boom-Boom? Yes. Yes we did. (New Mutants #92)

And you thought Ship was cool, kids. (New Mutants #92)

Speaking of things Boom-Boom would do… (Generation X #33)

Keep an eye on this guy. (Generation X #33)

Miles totally would have stuck with hard science in college if the labs had looked like this. (Generation X #33)

No, no… The WHAT goes at the end, not in the middle! (Generation X #33)

Welcome to a dimension of pure CHAIR. (Generation X #33)

And now for something completely different. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)

Now I want to see Adam Pollina draw Mystique’s creepy nephew from X-Factor. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)

I believe Danish armored mother-and-son murderers refer to this as hygge. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)

1 pet robot. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)

Random stuff piled up outside the panels – this must be an issue of Generation X! (Generation X Holiday Special #1)

Mutant, mutant, angst, angst. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)

What an obituary that would have made. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)

It’s easy to forget how legitimately terrifying the Orphan Maker can be. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)

So that happened. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)

Better or worse than the kids that wet their pants on Santa’s lap? (Generation X Holiday Special #1)

Oh, kiddo. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)

Well that’s just lovely. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)

NEXT TIME: Doctor Moira MacTaggert versus the Legacy Virus.

401 – True Tales of Double-Entry Bookkeeping

February 12, 2023 Miles 8 comments

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In which Santa Claus makes problematic choices; we make good on a promise; Sebastian is the new Deadpool; Skrulls get stuck as animals more than you’d think; Nanny and Orphan-Maker celebrate; and Jubilee stops worrying and learns to love Christmas.

X-PLAINED

Santa Claus’s flirtations with villainy
A new direction for Generation X
Larry Hama
Al vs. U.S. geography
Generation X #32-33
Generation X Holiday Special
New Mutants #92
Thing One & Thing Two St. Croix
The Circus of Crime
The Pirates of Dark Water (somewhat)
Hacker T. Dog
Why Wolfsbane is scared of clowns
Skrull Kill Crew
Carnie Voltron
Chief Authier
Phat beats
A reality biscuit
Emplate’s pocket dimension
Chimera and Dirtnap
Variant interiors
Nanny & Orphan-Maker (more) (again)
Santa Claus (in general)
Benefits of inconsistent characterization

NEXT WEEK: Break week

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 396 – Giant-Size Special #11

January 1, 2023 Miles Leave a comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Illyana Rasputin knows what you did. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)

Bernard Chang channels Bob McLeod. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)

Bernard Chang channels Paul Smith. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)

“Well, you would have, but you left him at the altar and Rogue and Gambit took your spot…” (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)

I’ve missed these kids. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)

Well, Monet is actually two kids, and… (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)

Wolfsbane x-plains smooching. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)

And that jerk seagull doesn’t even care. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)

Basically, you’re all going to end up either awesome, dead, or ignored by most writers. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)

“Did you bring me a present, Uncle Mikhail?” (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)

How to make a long conversation visually compelling, part one. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)

Bernard Chang channels Bill Sienkiewicz. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)

It’s easy to forget how much more control of her powers Rahne gained over a decade of comics. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)

Karma: even scarier than Magik. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)

Aww kid (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)

Look at all that science! (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)

If this was Mystique instead of Karma, she’d turn into an eagle right after saying that. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)

Now that is a title page. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)

When Best Teenagers become Best Young Adults. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)

How to make a long conversation visually compelling, part two. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)

It’s cool, Doug, you’ll come back to life and marry a large wife. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)

Aww hell yeah (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)

Poor counterpart-less Magma and Karma look so bored. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)

Pure, uncut nostalgia. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)

NEXT EPISODE: Sabretooth betrays an X-team! Again!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

Behold the glory that is the Hardee’s kids meal comic X-Men: Time Gliders
Subscribe to Al Ewing’s email newsletter!

396 – Giant-Size Special #11

January 1, 2023 Miles 14 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we spend too long trying to place a time-travel miniseries in continuity, Al Kennedy does us a solid, Bernard Chang draws some excellent New Mutants young and old, Al Ewing x-plains X-Men: Red, Forearm and Random play Nintendo, and we reveal the winners of The Ninth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence!

X-PLAINED:

Jay’s spatial and temporal whereabouts
Cannonball, Mirage, Magik, Sunspot, Wolfsbane, Karma, Magma, Cypher, Warlock, and Douglock
New Mutants: Truth or Death
Kitty Pryde and Illyana Rasputin, gal pals
Triple-dog dares
Nova Roma, or not
Mikhail F**king Rasputin
The arrogance of reality warpers
How to write Magma
The Technarchy and the Phalanx
Hardee’s X-Men: Time Gliders
Farmboy chic
Bernard Chang’s 21 Panels
Branching vs. overwriting timelines
The effects of de-aging and history rewriting on immunology
Found family
She Who Swam With The Acanti
Sleep-Eeze Mattresses Starring The Hulk
Arrako
Continuity synchronicity
S.W.O.R.D. as a workplace drama
The moral downfall of Abigail Brand
The leadership styles of Storm, Magneto, and Sunspot
Himbo disambiguation
The fates of Armor, Risque, and Peeper
Mysterium Clicker
Santa Claus
The Ninth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

(Note: Our interview with Al Ewing contains spoilers for X-Men: Red!)

NEXT EPISODE: Sabretooth betrays an X-team! Again!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 376 – Moore of This

June 19, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

You’ve come a long way from tick-tick-boom, Tabitha. (X-Force #63)

Dammit, X-Force! You were already living in the same house as the X-Men, and now you have their color scheme too? (X-Force #63)

When continuity is character. (X-Force #63)

Oh, great, it’s that dream again. (X-Force #63)

Yep, Lila Cheney is just that good. (X-Force #63)

“Alright, Agents! Just like we practiced: POSE!” (X-Force #63)

Ah, come on, Bobby – you’ve been to space and multiple other dimensions. Get over yourself. (X-Force #64)

Meanwhile in Spookytown (X-Force #64)

GAVEEDRA BENJAMIN SEVEN YOU PUT THOSE SWORDS DOWN RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR (X-Force #64)

But… but ambush is the exact thing you just did! (X-Force #64)

We immediately love John Francis Moore’s Meltdown. (X-Force #64)

We’ve missed you, Julio. (X-Force #64)

Michael McCain, AKA Forearm, AKA a guy in a shirt best described as “normal”. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

You put that down! Bad dog! Drop it! DROP IT! (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Meltdown auditions for Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Like the Rainbow Bridge but somehow more cosmic! Or at least differently cosmic. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Presenting Malekith the Accursed. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Is Caliban huge or is Shatterstar tiny? The world will never know! (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Our high school English teacher always told us we needed to learn the rules of writing so we could more effectively break them. This page does that with its panel borders. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Mutants and dwarves and giants, oh my! (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Hela: goddess of death and high fashion. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

NEXT TIME: Do not mess with Domino.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

Previously on Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men:
- Miles and guest x-pert Elisabeth Allie talked about the X-Men and Alpha Flight’s visit to the Viking citadel in Episode 47: The Price of Power!
- To learn about the New Mutants’ first visit to Asgard (and Mirage becoming a Valkyrie), check out Episode 48: Guitar Solos of the Gods!
- We discussed the New Mutants second visit to Asgard (and Mirage’s corruption by Hela) in Episode 127: Disaster City and Episode 132: Nornheim Lemonade!
Miles and Elisabeth Allie covered Walter Simonson’s entire epic Thor run in their limited-series podcast THOR: The Lightning and the Storm!

376 – Moore of This

June 19, 2022 Jay 6 comments

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In which we begin John Francis Moore’s run on X-Force; Latveria is less fun without Doctor Doom; there may still be a tiny clone of Meltdown running around; Forearm is a good pal; Marvel Asgard is a realm of crossover fan fiction; and you should totally watch both Our Flag Means Death and Doom Patrol.

X-PLAINED:

Blackbeard, somewhat
X-Force #63-64
X-Force & Cable Annual 1997
Life after Onslaught
Dimitri Fortunov
Dr. Doom’s time podium
New costumes
Liddleville
Latveria, 1941
Sturmfanger
Valkyrie (Brunhilde)
Aragorn (but not that one)
The Mutant Liberation Front (again) (briefly)
A large dog who may or may not have eaten a horse
Valkyries (more) (again)
What all the former New Mutants are up to
Yggdrasil and the Nine Realms (again)
Malekith the Accursed
Kindra the Dwarf (again)
Skadi the Frost Giant
Hela (again) (briefly)
Doctor Who analogs
What we miss about the Silver Age

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Domino goes solo!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This month, TeePublic is matching our sales with a donation to Equality Florida!!!

As Mentioned in Episode 371 – Beware of Psychodrama

May 8, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Before settling on paint and canvas, Piotr Rasputin’s first medium was the thought balloon. (Excalibur #104)

Douglock tries. (Excalibur #104)

Moira, I know a lot of us have been working from home for a while now, but you may have overdone the whole home-office thing just a tad. (Excalibur #104)