In which Rose City Comic Con was in fact pretty awesome; we return to Marvel Presents; Colossus has a bad day; Ann Nocenti engages in some bipartisan satire; Cyclops has a bad day; Moira MacTaggert gets possessed again; Master Mold is really hard to kill; you should absolutely not send Jay naked leprechaun pictures; sentinels are basically rationalization engines; and that is really not how consciences work.
NOTE: In this episode, we said that the U.S.S.R. dissolved in 1989. That actually happened in 1991.
ADDITIONAL NOTE: THE NYCC PANEL HAS BEEN MOVED. IT IS ON THURSDAY, NOT FRIDAY.
X-PLAINED:
Sentinel Aesthetics
Prime Sentinels
“Colossus: God’s Country”
Butt physics
The Cold War
Colossus’s feelings about porn
The Billy Ireland Cartoon Library
Some varyingly dubious politics
The Cold Warriors
Alexander, who is probably not actually either Colonel Sanders or Howard Hughes
Bipartisan satire
Jay’s grandfather
An uncomfortable picnic
Limbs
Number Six (but not that one)
Terrible neighbors
“Cyclops: The Retribution Affair”
Bobbie and Mary Campbell
Master Mold (again)
Stephen Lang (again)
Servitors
A well-honed lobster alert system
The Retribution Virus
Conscience
A terrible party
Kitty Pryde’s Gal Pal Squad
Community Organizer Magneto
NEXT EPISODE: Live from Rose City Comic Con!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
In which the plot thickens; Jay and Miles fix Avatar; Ship is a good bro; you are in space right now; the Beginagains go full This Island Earth; Cyclops weaponizes love; voting is really important; and you’re listening to ten straight hours of soft jazz and subversion on ZZ-105
X-PLAINED:
The other Dazzler (Bertram Worthington)
Our newest t-shirt
X-Factor #48-50
A metaphor within a metaphor, in space
The first half of Judgment War (briefly) (again)
A prisoner exchange
Hairstyles of the possessed and famous
Proper use of Cable
A case for retcons
Iceman vs. Archangel
A feisty little fellow from the stars
The secret origin of Ship
The Celestials
The core of Iceman’s personality
Several kisses
Beast and the Rejects
Some terrible hats
An unfair fight
A nefarious plot
Contagious heroism
Arishem
The power of love
Why we use the word “queer”
Several theoretical and unlikely crossovers
NEXT EPISODE: Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival, with musical guest Scott Koblish!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the back-up stories of Atlantis Attacks are way better than the main event; the Serpent Society is hilarious; Longshot finds a rock; the S.U.R.F.E.R.S. are no Neutrinos; our volume of digressions is inversely proportional to our investment in this crossover; Jay overthinks sunglasses; and somehow we still aren’t entirely done with Inferno.
X-PLAINED:
Leonard McKenzie
Princess Fen
Tiger Shark
A dubious crossover event and three splendid backup stories
The best thing in Marvel Puzzle Quest
Skateman
Atlantis Attacks
Uncanny X-Men Annual #13
New Mutants Annual #5
X-Factor Annual #4
Ghaur
Llyra
Homomermanus
The Serpent Society
Boomslang
Why snakes don’t wear vests
The Maple Hill Farm books
The Horn of Doom (again)
Namorita
Impractical swimwear
Surf, or S.U.R.F.E.R.S., or whoever the hell they are
Zak and the Neutrinos
The trouble with mobile landmarks
A case of mistaken identity
The true meaning of something, probably
Ralph Macchio, but not that Ralph Macchio
Circumstances in which it is acceptable to throw a small child down an elevator shaft
The definitive Boom Boom
Eligible gentlemen of the Marvel Universe
Boom Boom Von Doom
A false dichotomy
Sally Pashkow
A really great outfit
Presidencies rated by X-Books
Best and worst moral inversions
NEXT WEEK: Mojo Mayhem!
ART CHALLENGE: Send your best Boom Boom romance stories, covers, and pin-ups to xplainthexmen(at)gmail.com by SEPTEMBER 15, with the subject line BOOM BOOM RULES.
NOTE: In this episode, Jay briefly confused two Marvel villain teams: the Serpent Society (snake-themed villains); and the Sons of the Serpent, also known as the Serpent Men (hate group). We would like to offer our apologies to the Serpent Society, who are ridiculous but not, as far as we know, racist.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Nimrod is probably an honorary Summers by this point; Claremont hits a centennial; it’s probably pretty hard to get an unconscious person into tight leather pants; the X-Men finally encounter a world that actually hates and fears them; and the Power Pack fits somewhat uneasily with the grown-up Marvel Universe.
X-PLAINED:
Nimrod
Uncanny X-Men #193-195
Thunderbird II (James Proudstar)
Situation-inappropriate attire
The worst Hellions
Firestar (Angelica Jones)
Why you call ahead before breaking into NORAD
Leadership
Public opinion
Juggernaut fights
How the X-Men wake up
Nazgûl
Tyranny of the Masses: The Robot
The Voltron Special
The Power Pack
Navigating crossovers
NEXT WEEK: Firestar!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
METOXO the lava man, as teased in X-Men #48–but never revealed!
Beast and Iceman teach METOXO the true meaning of Christmas in the 1994 Marvel Holiday Special.
Angel X-Plains the Phoenix retcon. (X-Factor #1)
In X-Men #37, five reasonably normal-looking teenagers dive out of a plane…
…and then this happens. (X-Men #37)
In which Jean Grey, given the choice between the Silver Age’s two stock career options for female protagonists, opts for option A. (X-Men #48)
Scott Summers’ radio career lasted five whole panels. Here are four of them. We remain annoyed that none of them actually show him recording, because that would be really useful as a podcast graphic. (X-Men #48)
The Coffee-a-Go-Go made its debut in X-Men #7, along with regular Bernard the Poet and acerbic waitress Zelda.
There are a lot of Coffee-a-Go-Go stories, but Bobby’s 18th birthday, from X-Men #32, is probably the best.
Bernard the poet sells out in the name of birthday cheer. (X-Men #32)
Zelda’s original line, from X-Men #7 (she was originally a redhead)…
…and Busiek’s homage in the 1994 Marvel Holiday Special.
Iceman vs. ice skating. (X-Men #29)
We’ll be giving it its own post on Monday, but David Wynne’s art of the original X-Men as Enid Blyton’s Famous Five goes way too well with this episode.
Next Episode: Fast-forwarding to 1994 for the wedding of Scott Summers and Jean Grey.
In which special guest Kurt Busiek is the J. Robert Oppenheimer of X-Men, Rachel and Miles learn to love the Silver Age, Cyclops gets a job, Bernard the Poet falls from grace, we really wish X-Men: The Secret Years was a real book, everyone recites poetry, and we still don’t get around to Marvels.
X-Plained:
METOXO, the Lava Man
The true, secret purpose of Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men
The Phoenix retcon
Archival pocket dimensions
Enid Blyton’s X-Men
Early-to-mid-20th Century American Jewish Socialism
Why the X-Men are terrible mutant P.R.
Band names of the Silver Age
An X-Men series that might have been.
Why Cyclops should be the Rachel Maddow of Marvel
Quicksilver’s childhood dreams
The Coffee-a-Go-Go
Bernard the Poet
Zelda Kurtzberg
The Barefoot Beats
Next week: The wedding of Scott Summers and Jean Grey!
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.