Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Last Day for Kitty’s Kostume Korner!

Last week, we asked you to send in your ideas for a new costume for Kitty Pryde – any era, any codename. We’ve gotten some very cool ones already, but we’re extending the deadline for the official roundup by one more day to give latecomers a chance to send in their designs.

For inspiration, here’s Kitty doing her best magical-girl transformation twirl inĀ Uncanny X-Men #168:

Art by Paul Smith, from Uncanny X-Men #168.
Art by Paul Smith, from Uncanny X-Men #168.

As Mentioned in Episode 24 – Ororo, Queen of the Galaxy

Listen to the episode here!

24 – Ororo, Queen of the Galaxy

Stormerella print
Art by David Wynne.

In which Professor X is (canonically!) a jerk, Miles has Sidrian Hunter feelings, Kitty Pryde is Clarissa Darling with a dragon, we introduce a drinking game, the X-Men do Barbarella, Rachel has a ā€˜shipper moment, Rogue joins the team, Storm gets a haircut, Mastermind is still the worst, and Madelyne Pryor is underrated.

X-Plained:

  • Lockheed
  • Uncanny X-Men #168-175
  • Reset issues
  • A one-sided rivalry
  • The lowest-drama X-romance
  • The Cream of Wheat box as a metaphor for infinity
  • Kittyā€™s Kostume Korner
  • Rachelā€™s questionably-canon ships
  • The Morlocks
  • Class privilege and the mutant metaphor
  • Callisto
  • Caliban
  • Sunder
  • Plague
  • Masque
  • A dubbing error
  • Gender dimorphism in superhero media
  • Stormā€™s first major character arc
  • Our single favorite superhero artist
  • Rogue
  • Rogueā€™s accent
  • A Charles Xavier we can believe in
  • Yukio
  • Punk Storm
  • Madelyne Pryor
  • Closure
  • Cyclops vs. formalwear

Art Challenge: Send us your Kitty Pryde costume redesigns–any era, any codename–to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com

Next Week: Claremont and Millerā€™s Wolverine!


You can find a visual companion to the episode ā€“ and links to recommended reading ā€“Ā on ourĀ blog.

Find us onĀ iTunesĀ orĀ Stitcher!

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As Mentioned in Episode 20 – The Brood They Carried

Listen to the podcast here!


Further reading:

The Things They Carried, by Tim O’Brien.

20 – The Brood They Carried

In which Claremont levels up; the Brood are legitimately scary; Colossus is an ethical dude; Nightcrawler and Wolverine share beers in the face of certain death; Storm turns into a space whale; we are Carol Corps for life; New Mutants are really into Magnum, P.I.; Kitty meets a dragon; and Xavier dies (again).

X-Plained:

  • Broo
  • The Brood Saga (X-Men #161-167)
  • Paul Smith
  • Space fashion
  • A really terrible awards ceremony
  • Tim O’Brien’s X-Men
  • The Brood
  • How to tell a good Wolverine story
  • Rocket sharks
  • The single most badass magical-girl transformation sequence of all time
  • Binary
  • The X-Men’s Kobayashi Maru
  • Friendship (more) (again)
  • The Acanti
  • Whether Cyclops watches Star Trek
  • The New Mutants
  • Cloning
  • Our secret cold-open formula
  • Cosmic crossovers

Next Week: Kurt Busiek! We would have words with thee!


You can find a visual companion to the episode ā€“ and links to recommended reading ā€“Ā on ourĀ blog.

Find us onĀ iTunesĀ orĀ Stitcher!

Support us onĀ Patreon!

As Mentioned on Episode 19 – Acorns and Swords

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19 – Acorns and Swords

In which we continue our delve into the eldritch end of the X-Universe, Illyana Rasputin has a rough childhood even by X-Men standards, Kitty Pryde is a Niven fan, Limbo is way metal, Vincent Price is our Belasco, and Rachel and Miles have feelings about female friendships in Claremont’s X-Men.

X-Plained:

  • Mikhail Rasputin
  • Hell dimensions, including but not limited to
    • The Void
    • The Dark Zone
    • The Hill
    • Limbo
    • The other Limbo
    • Yet a third Limbo
  • Reincarnation
  • Illyana Rasputin
  • Magic vs. Magik
  • Uncanny X-Men #160
  • Octopusheim
  • Stepping Disks
  • Otherplace
  • Belasco
  • Emergo
  • S’ym
  • Storm and Illyana: Magik #1-4
  • Bloodstones
  • Yet another set of alternate X-Men
  • Friendship
  • The Soulsword
  • Podcasting

You can find a visual companion to the episode ā€“ and links to recommended reading ā€“Ā on ourĀ blog.

Find us onĀ iTunesĀ orĀ Stitcher!

Support us onĀ Patreon!

 

Next week: In space, no one can hear you snikt.

As Mentioned on Episode 18 – You’ve Got a Dracula Problem

Listen to the episode here!



AND NOW, THE CONTEST WINNERS!

Last week, we asked you to pitch your best ideas for X-Men games to win a download code for the <em>Days of Future Past</em> mobile game. (Thanks again, Glitchsoft!)

Before we announce the winners, let us take a moment to rave:Ā You are brilliant, and we are legitimately pretty pissed off that we can’t play most of these games, because they lookĀ awesome. We wish we could give you all prizes.

Based on aĀ complicated imaginary algorithm involvingĀ on originality, narrative/gameplay fit and integration, playability, and personal whim,Ā we are pleased to announce that the grand-prize winners are as follow:

Newtype53:

1) The Silver-Age X-Men (taking heavily from Season One and First Class), going right up to the Bronze age with the Phoenix/Dark Phoenix Saga. Why?

2) Itā€™s a Japanese-style ā€œdating simā€ game, with a heavy focus on character relations. Any mutant combat will cover RPG elements in an old 8-bit Final Fantasy format, with a 5-man team selectable for the squad.

3) Marvel Girl. However, each of the other original 5 X-Men have their own storyline that unlock after beating Jeanā€™s, with Jeanā€™s storyline being the canon one that follows up through her canonical death as the Dark Phoenix (or does it? Multiple endings with potential happy endings, anyone?). Do you choose to follow the canon and romance Cyclops? What about his brooding brother who just wants a damned normal life? Or the magnificent Angel? The brooding Wolverine? The angry Thunderbird? Do you still love Hank when heā€™s literally blue? Or are you more into Iceman? The potential is endless! Romance Professor X (ewwwwwww) for the bonus unlockable option to play through a storyline as Professor X, manipulating the hell out of your students to your own ends!

As a bonus, any Mutant met can be drawn into the X-Men through specific dialogue choices, though none of the recruited X-Men can be romanced. However, this may alienate other members of the team, and can even cause them to leave the X-Men!

Craig S:

1) X-Treme X-Men

2) Turn-based RPG

3) James Howlett, Kurt Waggoner, Emmeline Frost, Xavierā€™s Head, Dazzler

Chrono-trigger style game where you travel from timeline to timeline hunting down evil Charles Xaviers, generally in the order you choose. Youā€™d start with a basic team, and collect new members as you go to their individual timelines.

We’ll be e-mailing you those download codes later today!

We also want to take a moment to acknowledge two other reallyĀ superlative entries. You do not get download codes, so, as a compensation prize, here is another picture of that panel of Cyclops telling Dracula to follow his heart:

FollowYourHeart

SO ANYWAY.

BEST JUST-FOR-FUN:

Elle:

1. Kitty Pryde and Wolverine (the ā€™84-85 miniseries)
2. Ninja Gaiden-esque sidescrolling platformer with melodramatic cutscenes. Ninjas ninjas ninjas.
3. Alternate levels as Kitty getting into trouble in Japan and Wolverine trying to find her. In the last level you can choose which of them to play as you fight the other one, but then the winner has to take on final boss Ogun.

BEST NOT-SURE-THIS-ACTUALLY-COUNTS-AS-A-GAME-BUT-WE-ARE-BOTH-IMPRESSED-AND-SLIGHTLY-FRIGHTENED-BY-YOUR-INGENUITY:

McArdle:

1. Name: Siege Perilous: The Game
2. Platform: pervasive throughout your life. You download an app on your phone and it replaces your twitter, your facebook, your instagram, your contacts, and everything else with the media and social life of a better version of yourself. The game is to learn to live as that person. There is no going back.
3. Playable character: you, but maybe a ninja version of you.

18 – You’ve Got a Dracula Problem

In which Dr. Nemesis is delightful, Bill Sienkiewicz foreshadows himself, Dracula hits on absolutely everyone, Blade Godwins a crossover event, Jubilee get a jet ski, the X-Men do Castlevania 2, Rachel and Miles pick a vacation destination, and Cyclops wants you to follow your heart.

X-Plained:

  • Dr. Nemesis
  • A very good page of a very good comic
  • Dracula variations
  • X-Men #159
  • Appropriate use of holy symbols
  • “The D”
  • Tomb of Dracula
  • Bloodstorm
  • Carrotstorm
  • Curse of the Mutants
  • Jubilee
  • Crossover events
  • Why we can’t have nice things
  • Some really sweet weaponry
  • The Dracula Reassembly Machine
  • Phone sex with Gambit
  • The point of being Lord of the Vampires
  • X-Club
  • Authorial voice in comics
  • Why there probably won’t be a Starjammers movie

Next Episode: Rachel and Miles go to Hell (kind of)!


You can find a visual companion to the episode ā€“ and links to recommended reading ā€“Ā on ourĀ blog.

Find us onĀ iTunesĀ orĀ Stitcher!

Support us onĀ Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 15 – The Ballad of Harvey and Janet

Listen to the podcast here!