X-Factor – Page 16 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 58 – Miniseries Mayhem

May 25, 2015 Jay 8 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/31/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

We encourage you to judge this book by its cover. (Nightcrawler #1)

WELL DONE. (Nightcrawler #1)

No idea whether “Boggie” is actually a Bored of the Rings reference, but we’d like to think so. (Nightcrawler #1)

Yowza! (Nightcrawler #1)

We want a vacation home in Dave Cockrum’s brain. (Nightcrawler #1)

AND THEN A SHARK WIZARD HAPPENED. (Nightcrawler #1)

Things about this series that are absolutely delightful: all of them. (Nightcrawler #2)

Boggies X-Plain the plot. (Nightcrawler #2)

OH HELL YES (Nightcrawler #2)

Whoops. (Nightcrawler #2)

Don’t get comfortable! You’ve still got two issues to go! (Nightcrawler #2)

Bamfs are basically terrible sex smurfs. (Nightcrawler #3)

Meen. It’s spelled M-E-E-N. (Nightcrawler #3)

Suuuuuure, we’ve heard that one before. (Nightcrawler #3)

Wellp. (Nightcrawler #3)

X-cellent use of sound effects. (Nightcrawler #3)

Lady Bamfs are ALSO terrible sex Smurfs. (Nightcrawler #4)

CRETACEOUS SAM, WE LOVE YOU. (Nightcrawler #4)

That Illyana Rasputin owns a prodigious collection of pornography is the least surprising revelation of this series. (Nightcrawler #4)

In his defense, she does have extra fancy hair. (Iceman #1)

“You don’t steal another man’s elemental puns!” (Iceman #1)

If we had a dollar for every time this happened… (Iceman #1)

Aw, Bobby. (Iceman #1)

This could definitely not be read as an allegory for anything else ever, right? (Iceman #1)

This is basically how all of our family reunions go, too.

Sneaking in the window, in his underwear (costume, but STILL), carrying an interdimensional projector: kind of the perfect Bobby Drake moment, no? (Iceman #2)

Kiiiinda wishing they’d gone with Freaky Friday instead of Back to the Future, but whatever. (Iceman #2)

I bet at times like this, Bobby seriously questions his choice of superhero costume. (Iceman #2)

Well, that got grim fast. (Iceman #2)

“Man, Marty McFly never had to deal with this shit!” (Iceman #2)

And now, a surreal existential hellscape! (Iceman #3)

Not gonna lie: I love the hell out of this version of the X-Men. (Iceman #3)

NO SERIOUSLY IT’S EVIL PALETTE-SWAPPED ORKO (Iceman #3)

Oblivion X-Plains the story so far. (Iceman #3)

Teenagers, man. (Iceman #3)

Parents: the same in any dimension. (Iceman #4)

Iceman getting universe-defying moments of heroism is rare and pretty much universally awesome. (Iceman #4)

THIS FUCKING MINISERIES, MAN. (Iceman #4)

If we had to sum up Iceman in one image, it’d be this one. (Iceman #4)

The implications for multiversal continuity are kind of staggering. (Iceman #4)

Spoiler: This does not actually change anything. (Iceman #4)

Next Week: X-Men ’92, with Chris Sims and Chad Bowers!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

The dubious foundation of our eight-grade friendship.
For more on Kitty’s Fairy Tale, listen to Episode 28 – What’s New Shadowcat, featuring Greg Rucka.

58 – Miniseries Mayhem

May 25, 2015 Jay 24 comments

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In which Nightcrawler does Weird Tales; Iceman does Back to the Future; we want a vacation home in Dave Cockrum’s brain; Bamfs are terrible; the 1983 Iceman miniseries is straight-up bananas; parents just don’t understand; and Rachel will take literally any excuse to talk smack about John Ruskin.

X-PLAINED:

Vanisher
Nightcrawler #1-4
Bizarre Adventures #27
Iceman #1-4
The Well at the Center of Time
The downside to hanging out with pirates
A shark wizard in a tiny loincloth
Better living through sound-effect awareness
Boggies
The key to a classic Nightcrawler story
Earth-5311
Bamfs
The full extent of Rachel’s Smurfs knowledge
Cretaceous Sam
Sehv
Illyana Rasputin’s porn collection
The Drake family
An exceptionally unlikely girl next door
The definitive Miles’s Mom anecdote
Marge Smith / Mirage
White Light
Idiot
Kali (but not that one)
Two generations of Officers Ratchit
Pornography no one wants to see
Death by time travel
Oblivion
Night Man (kinda)
Our ideal cross-media adaptations

NEXT WEEK: X-Men ’92, with Chris Sims and Chad Bowers!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 57 – Apocalypse Soon

May 17, 2015 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Oh, this guy. (X-Factor #2)

As a side effect of her return from near-death, Jean can perfectly recall any outfit–except her own. (X-Factor #2)

“But at least I know how to put on my goddamn pants.” (X-Factor #2)

Oh, Vera, what have they done to you? (X-Factor #2)

“Trust me, this is in no way an allegory for any other situations in your life.” (X-Factor #2)

Walls are the real victims in Layton’s run. (X-Factor #2)

Why do thugs ever fall for that line? Seriously. (X-Factor #2)

It’s okay, Scott. We’re only a few issues away from Louise Simonson. (X-Factor #2)

X-Factor vs. yet another wall. (X-Factor #2)

Dr. Maddicks: kind of awful. (X-Factor #2)

In addition to being kind of a crap scientist, Carl Maddicks is a terrible parent. (X-Factor #3)

I was seriously considering having this entire as-mentioned just be X-Factor knocking down walls. (X-Factor #3)

Jean recognize her team’s signature move. (X-Factor #3)

Aaaaand there goes another wall. (X-Factor #3)

Scott and Jean finally have a talk about–wait, no, just kidding, they’re about to get interrupted by urgent news. (X-Factor #3)

AMAZING, Hank. AMAZING. (X-Factor #3)

LOOK AT THIS GLORIOUS COVER. (X-Factor Annual #1)

Wellp. (X-Factor Annual #1)

Thank you for that highly relevant footnote, comic book. (X-Factor Annual #1)

Not sure if this is better or worse than the underwear. (X-Factor Annual #1)

Headcanon: Heinreich has worked out a whole backstory for this secretary, and he’s really disappointed that he didn’t get to use more of it. (X-Factor Annual #1)

Serious question: is this the only time Bobby’s clothing transforms to ice along with him? DISCUSS. LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED. (X-Factor Annual #1)

How come some of these people are wearing robot underpants and others are not? (X-Factor Annual #1)

The Crimson Dynamo is not, in fact, the Red Scare. UNFORTUNATELY. (X-Factor Annual #1)

But seriously, the mix-up is pretty understandable.

Iceman vs. Iceman! (X-Factor Annual #1)

Oh, for the love of… (X-Factor Annual #1)

They’re fighting Tower and knocking down a wall at the same time! Two drinks! (X-Factor #4)

Joanna Cargill is so awesome. SO. AWESOME. (X-Factor #4)

At least he put on pants this time? I guess? (X-Factor #4)

X-Factor: actually kind of terrible. (X-Factor #4)

In case you happened to be wondering where the original art from this page is, the answer is our office. (Thank you, Tom!) (X-Factor #4)

Does no one ever use doors in this comic? (X-Factor #4)

Best outfit, best character, worst attempt at a cliffhanger. Also, I’m pretty sure one of us used to have a Mage: The Ascension character named Time Shadow. (X-Factor #4)

“It’s like we were briefly allowed to evolve as characters but have since reverted to a social dynamic we had long since outgrown.” (X-Factor #5)

True Fact: If one of you had submitted this outfit for the plainclothes cosplay contest, you would have won, no questions asked. (X-Factor #5)

And there goes another wall. (X-Factor #5)

Frenzy has no patience for your sub-par command of Yiddish. (X-Factor #5)

The less-than-inspiring debut of one of the X-Men’s greatest villains. (X-Factor #5)

Many thanks to Bobby Roberts for 57 spectacular episodes of production, advice, and boundless patience. You are the best, and we love you forever. (Art by David Wynne.)

Next week: MINISERIES MAYHEM!

57 – Apocalypse Soon

May 17, 2015 Jay 21 comments

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Art by David Wynne. We're not selling prints of this one, but you can still hit David up for the original! — Art by David Wynne. We’re not selling prints of this one, but you can still hit David up for the original!

In which Miles tries to find things to like about Bob Layton’s X-Factor run; Cyclops’s life is literally an anxiety dream; X-Factor is very Leverage; Layton’s Angel is just godawful; Rachel is all about the Red Scare; Frenzy is awesome; and we bid a fond farewell to producer Bobby Roberts.

X-PLAINED:

An Apocalypse that might have been
Mid-80s X-title thematic disambiguation
The limited value of nostalgia
Creative history of X-Factor
X-Factor #2-5 and Annual #1
The baffling reinvention of Vera Cantor
Tower (Edward Pasternak)
Dubious didactic strategies
Carl Maddicks
Artie Maddicks
Muffin the kitten
Bad timing
Soviet mutant policy
Soviet robot disambiguation
The Doppelganger (Wolfgang Heinreich)
A ruse
Alexei Garnov, Mentac the Living Computer, Concussion, Iron Curtain, and Siberian Tiger
The worst phonetic accent we have ever seen.
The Alliance of Evil
Frenzy (Joanna Cargill)
The color of Beast’s fur
Our favorite X-Men toys

NEXT WEEK: Miniseries Mayhem!

Many thanks to Bobby Roberts for 57 spectacular episodes of production, advice, and boundless patience. You are the best, and we love you forever.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re not selling prints of this week’s illustration, but you can contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned In Episode 54 – Who You Gonna Call? (feat. Elle Collins)

April 26, 2015 Jay 11 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/3/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

The New Defenders. (Defenders #127)

Moondragon, Cloud, Gargoyle, and Valkyrie demonstrate the kind of high drama and subtext that makes three ex-X-Men feel right at home. (Defenders #127)

Warren and Bobby simultaneously contemplate one of the great questions of the universe. (Defenders #126)

Hank opens up to Vera about his shifting personality. (Defenders #116)

The end of the last issue of Defenders. Total downer (except for the puppy). (Defenders #152)

~~All-New, All-Different.~~ (X-Factor #1)

The worst part is that neither of them is wrong, exactly. (X-Factor #1)

Three guys who definitely don’t want to be superheroes anymore. (X-Factor #1)

Well, this can’t possibly end badly. (X-Factor #1)

OH GOD NEVER MIND. (X-Factor #1)

Rich people are different from the rest of us. (X-Factor #1)

Goddamnit, Warren. (X-Factor #1)

Goddamnit, Scott and Madelyne. (X-Factor #1)

Later, in Apartment 3-G… (X-Factor #1)

X-Factor is just painfully awkward on so many levels, for so long. (X-Factor #1)

“Seriously, Warren, you are LITERALLY WEARING A SUPERHERO COSTUME RIGHT NOW.” (X-Factor #1)

“Look, just go walk it off for a couple weeks. You’ll be fine.” (X-Factor #1)

If we had a dollar for every job interview that ended like this… (X-Factor #1)

Iceman is just goddamn delightful. (X-Factor #1)

There are several important things going on here, but all of them are overshadowed by the fact that Warren is wearing a cape with a sweater vest. (X-Factor #1)

It’s like they know how an intervention works, but not how it’s supposed to end. (X-Factor #1)

“Also, he’ll be gradually brainwashing us all and destroying our lives for the next year and change!” (X-Factor #1)

WE’RE HERE TO BELIEVE YOU! (X-Factor #1)

It just never stops sucking to be Rusty Collins. (X-Factor #1)

No, seriously. (X-Factor #1)

“It’s almost like some outside force is manipulating our lives, making sure to stretch this dramatic tension as long as possible.” (X-Factor #1)

How no one ever recognized the X-Terminators as the original five X-Men is one of the great mysteries of the Marvel Universe. (X-Factor #1)

NOTE: The appropriate soundtrack to literally every scene Cyclops is in in this issue is “Country Feedback,” by R.E.M., on repeat. (X-Factor #1)

WHO YOU GONNA CALL? (X-Factor #1)

“I mean, it’s been solicited as an ongoing, and everything.” (X-Factor #1)

Aw, Madelyne. (X-Factor #1)

NEXT WEEK: The Beyonder ruins everything. Again.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

Special thanks to guest X-Pert Elle Collins. When she’s not catching us up on the Defenders, here’s where you can find Elle online:
- Twitter
- Into It (Podcast)
Secrets Behind X-Men: Jean Grey’s Return in X-Factor

54 – Who You Gonna Call? (feat. Elle Collins)

April 26, 2015 Jay 24 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS

In which the X-Men get their third ongoing series; Elle drops in to x-plain the Defenders; the band gets back together; rich people are not like the rest of us; Cyclops is in desperate need of some kind of intervention; and X-Factor is basically Ghostbusters.

X-PLAINED:

Cameron Hodge
The fairly spectacular secret origins of X-Factor
The Champions
The New Defenders
The evolution of Hank McCoy
X-Factor #1
The death throes of Scott and Madelyne’s marriage
Rusty Collins
A really bad first date
The increasingly dubious life choices of Scott Summers
The worst job interview
Sushi-a-Go-Go
How not to have an intervention
X-Factor
The X-Terminators
The Phoenix Force on Earth-811 (and its relationship to Rachel Summers)

NEXT WEEK: The Beyonder ruins everything. Again.

You can find a companion index to the material mentioned in this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Rachel and Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 12

November 7, 2014 Jay 7 comments

Week of November 5, 2014

In which the stealth cosplay continues, and we are sidetracked by LEGOs.

Reviewed:

Axis #4 (2:26)
X-Men #21 (4:00)
X-Factor #16 (5:36)
Life After Logan #1 (7:58)
Death of Wolverine: Weapon X Program #1 (12:01)

Pick of the week:

LEGO Blackbird Playset (13:27)

Video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

For more on the Stealth / Plainclothes Cosplay Contest (deadline TODAY – Friday, November 7), go here!

As Mentioned in Episode 11 – Who Would Win in a Fight

June 22, 2014 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here!

Rachel and Miles of 2003, testing out early “Who Would Win in a Fight” hypotheses. Rachel hasn’t had long hair in years, but she still fights dirty.

Cycloptometry, from X-Factor #39.

Some of our favorite X-spinoffs.

That’s Rachel Summers, sending Kitty Pryde’s consciousness back in time in the original “Days of Future Past” comic. (X-Men #141)

Fun fact: the title of this podcast is roughly 90% Michael C. Maronna’s fault. (Photo courtesy of Will McRobb.)

Mystique and Destiny: CANONICAL AS FUCK. (Astonishing X-Men #51)

The Siege Perilous will body-swap you with a Japanese assassin, or send you to Australia, or whatever. Unless you’re Quentin Quire, anyway. (Uncanny X-Men #229)

Lee Forrester takes shit from nobody. (X-Men #143)

You can, in fact, judge this book by its cover. (Nightcrawler #1)

Would you buy logical causality from this man? YES. Yes, you would.

From That One Time Rachel Discovered Blingee and Spent Two Days Doing Nothing but Animating Starbursts on Longshot and Dazzler Covers.

Miles’s favorite superhero.

Just in case you were wondering what it looked like.

Paracyclophus, by Legitimus Maximus.

Janet K. Lee is the inventor of the Metawolverine, the most powerful creature in Canada.

Next week: The Dark Phoenix Saga!

Links and Further Reading: UncannyXMen.net

11 – Who Would Win in a Fight

June 22, 2014 Jay 12 comments

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In which we answer 45 straight minutes of your questions and alienate everyone with our answer to Jean vs. Emma, Miles is probably too nice to win in a fight, we are really into The Adventures of Pete & Pete, Rachel is the Vega to Miles’s Shepard, Excalibur is awesome, you should stop punching the DNA, Wolverine is Rogue, Longshot is the prettiest man, and Professor X is a pufferfish.

X-Plained: