Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 72 – Thrown Under the Plot Bus

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Mutant X Cyclops is the best Cyclops.
Surprise Walter Simons cover! YAYBO! (Uncanny X-Men #217)
The Opening Gimmick Who Cried Wolf. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
Banshee is good at adulting. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
“Seriously, guys, it’s like the whole theme of the book. I mean, aside from fighting to protect a world that hates and fears us.” (Uncanny X-Men #217)
Whether Douglas the Gentle Freak is the Doonesbury-universe version of Cypher remains a mystery. (We’d like to think so, though.)
Damn, Callisto. That’s cold. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
You do you, Alison. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
2/3 of Juggernaut fights begin with some variation of this scene (kilt negotiable). (Uncanny X-Men #217)
Um. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #217)
I don’t know if there’s a word for what’s going on with Rogue’s hair, but it is AMAZING. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Uncanny X-Men #218)
“Y’all enjoy your group hug. I’m just gonna FLING THIS FUCKING ROCK INTO SPACE.” (Uncanny X-Men #218)
Aw, Longshot. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
I know this story is all about teamwork, but Rogue definitely wins MVP of Uncanny X-Men #218.
‘Kay. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
The really great thing about this reference is that there’s also a Brigadier Lethbridge Stuart running around UK-616. I bet they get each other’s mail all the time. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, Havok! (Uncanny X-Men #218)
Car Wreck Sex: The Alex Summers Story. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
This plotline will continue to dangle for like a year and a half. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
Take a drink. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Damn, kid. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Please let us know if you can work out the timeline here, because we’ve basically stopped sleeping, and it’s not pretty. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
I always figured Magneto would have way nicer penmanship than this. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Lorna, you can FUCK WITH MAGNETIC FIELDS WITH YOUR MIND, AND ONE TIME YOU THREW AN ISLAND INTO SPACE. Are you really that surprised at a freak earthquake? (Uncanny X-Men #219)
If the X-line were a sitcom, they’d totally have cut from here to Scott arguing with hallucinations over in X-Factor. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
It’s okay. Everyone will be too distracted by your hat to notice the tights. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Our heroes and yours! (Uncanny X-Men #219)
THAT. HAIR. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
NEXT WEEK: Origins of X-Men: Evolution, with Robert N. Skir!

FURTHER LISTENING:

  • Special thanks to the wonderful Adam Warrock for letting us sample his song “Teamwork” in this episode! You can listen to the full track here, and find more of Adam’s work at adamwarrock.com!

72 – Thrown Under the Plot Bus

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/6/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/6/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Dazzler is not a team player; Longshot is the Zonker Harris of the X-Men; Juggernaut is That Guy; Rachel and Miles channel Statler and Waldorf; and Alex Summers is seriously never, ever going to finish grad school.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutant X
  • The only well-adjusted Scott Summers in the Multiverse
  • The Goblin Entity
  • Uncanny X-Men #217-219
  • The evolution of the X-Men’s lineup
  • Standards for a good twist
  • Doonesbury
  • Several Dungeons & Dragons analogies
  • A dubious literary allusion
  • Flying jeeps
  • CrimeBros
  • The fundamental tragedy of Longshot
  • Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and several homages thereto
  • Geordie and Rupert
  • Havok (more) (again)
  • Car-wreck sex
  • An unfortunate end to a camping trip
  • The Plot Bus
  • Several ways to stat Rogue up as a D&D character
  • Narrative-friendly power sets

Special thanks to:

  • The wonderful Adam Warrock, for letting us sample his song “Teamwork” in this episode! You can listen to the full track here, and find more of Adam’s work at adamwarrock.com.
  • Harrison Barber for his X-Pert D&D advice (not to mention nearly fifteen years of tolerating our nonsense at the gaming table)!

NEXT WEEK: X-Men: Evolution with Robert N. Skir!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 66 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 2

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
If this week’s illustration reminds you of last week’s, that’s because they’re two parts of this rad panorama! Again, prints are available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Mystique, what are you even doing? (X-Factor #9)
This, again. (X-Factor #9)
Passing privilege in action! (X-Factor #9)
That’s actually pretty clever. (X-Factor #9)
MOPPETS. (X-Factor #9)
Meanwhile in Apartment 3G… (X-Factor #10)
WRONG CHOICE, ANGEL. (X-Factor #10)
One horseman down, three to go. (X-Factor #10)
Damn, Jean. (X-Factor #10)
Ouch. (X-Factor #10)
OUCH. (X-Factor #10)
There is never a worst time to be a Power kid than during an X-line crossover. (Power Pack #27)
Everyone hates X-Factor. (Power Pack #27)
It really does kind of cheapen Sabretooth’s menace when a bunch of kids can take him down–even these kids. (Power Pack #27)
COMICS FOR KIDS. (Power Pack #27)
And then everything was sad forever. (Power Pack #27)
BEHOLD THIS MAJESTIC THUNDER GOD AND HIS MAJESTIC BEARD! (The Mighty Thor #373)
No, but seriously, though. (The Mighty Thor #373)
Thor has frog friends. (The Mighty Thor #373)
Have we mentioned that we love Thor? We love Thor. (The Mighty Thor #373)
There’s a reason that Walter Simonson is the gold standard for epic dialogue. (The Mighty Thor #374)
Aw. (The Mighty Thor #374)
There’s a lot of straight-up killing on the hero side of this event. (The Mighty Thor #374)
(X-Men #9, specifically.) (The Mighty Thor #374)
Thor: Definitely the best dude you know. (The Mighty Thor #374)
It’s funny, because miscommunication. (X-Factor #11)
“Run! It’s a crossover issue!” (X-Factor #11)
X-Factor drinking game: Drink every time someone has to explain the relationship between X-Factor and the X-Terminators. (X-Factor #11)
Halfway there, Apocalypse! (X-Factor #11)
Ouch. (X-Factor #11)
On the upside: Boom-Boom! (X-Factor #11)
NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants party like it’s 1299!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

  • Listen to Episode 65–The Mutant Massacre, Part 1–here!
  • You can find the Mutant Massacre reading order here.
  • Have you read Walter Simonson’s run of The Mighty Thor yet? You should really go do that. It starts here.

66 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 2

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we wrap up our first official two-parter; Gambit ruins everything; Rachel has a theory about Mister Sinister; Marvel communication technology is behind the times; Trish Tilby is tired of your bullshit; Walter Simonson is the best of the best; X-Factor pulls it together; Power Pack gets uncomfortably dark; Miles has Thor feelings; and even more mutants die.

NOTE: This episode is the second of a two-parter! If you haven’t listened to Episode 65, where we cover the first half of the mutant massacre, you should probably do that before you listen to this one!

X-PLAINED:

  • Masque
  • Tentacle disambiguation
  • More of the Mutant Massacre
  • A Sinister hypothesis
  • Several Marauder-related retcons
  • X-Factor #9-11
  • Power Pack #27
  • The Mighty Thor #373-374
  • Trish Tilby
  • Artie & Leech
  • Several awkward reunions
  • Walter Simonson
  • The fall of Angel
  • Apocalypse’s horsemen
  • Yet another crossover that will probably scar the Power kids for life
  • Franklin Richards
  • Thor, Donald Blake, and Sigurd Jarlson
  • The best issue of any comic, ever.
  • The Tunnelers
  • Ongoing repercussions of the Mutant Massacre
  • Rachel & Miles’s horseman identities
  • Which X-Men could and should wield Mjolnir

NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants party like it’s 1299!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 65 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 1

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
And so it begins. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Dazzler vs. Dazzler. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
We’d make a joke about taking a drink for every X-Men/X-Factor near miss, but you’d die of alcohol poisoning before the end of the crossover. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Aw, Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Not sure why Alanis Morisette didn’t bring this up in “Ironic.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Good job Kitty. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Well, damn. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
There’s something really unsettlingly cheery and Silver-Age about this page. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
No idea who the purple individual is, which is a shame, because they seem awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
STORM, NO! DON’T SPLIT THE PARTY! (Uncanny X-Men #211)
Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
This is the closest they’ll come to an actual conversation until Inferno. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
Whoops. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
So, THAT happened. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
SO, THAT HAPPENED. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
Dani Moonstar’s powers are METAL AS FUCK. (New Mutants #46)
“My powers are limited to the counterculture.” (New Mutants #46)
Powerlessness and the sense of being able to accomplish too little too late are pervasive themes in the Mutant Massacre. (New Mutants #46)
Everything’s sadder when teenagers are reacting to it. (New Mutants #46)
Well, shit. (New Mutants #46)
How have they not learned to listen to Doug by now? He is ALWAYS RIGHT. (New Mutants #46)
Cold, Wolverine. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
In her defense, everything is in fact well and truly fucked. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
And again. See what I meant about the alcohol-poisoning thing? (Uncanny X-Men #212)
You can, however, take a drink when Storm takes off her clothes for no clear reason. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
First mention of the man with the plan! (Uncanny X-Men #212)
Well done, Wolverine! (Uncanny X-Men #212)
I don’t care who you are: Callisto is better at leadership than you. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
It’s cool. It’s just Thor; we’ll be covering that stuff next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
Psylocke’s psychic projection is adorable and also super creepy. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #213)
Betsy Braddock is hardcore. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
Two classic Claremontisms… (Uncanny X-Men #213)
…on a single page. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
Damn, Psylocke. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
How much do we love Psylocke’s totally femme-princess superhero costume? SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
Next Week: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!

If you want to follow along with the crossover, you can find a guide to the reading order–and how we’re dividing it between episodes–here.

 

65 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 1

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we hit the first big X-centric crossover; a lot of Morlocks die; X-Factor is a dark farce; Kitty Pryde talks down a mob without using racial slurs; when Doug Ramsey tells you there’s a problem, you listen; and Callisto should be one of the iconic leaders of the Marvel Universe.

X-PLAINED:

  • Death by intellectual-property dispute
  • The Mutant Massacre
  • Mutant Massacres that might have been
  • Uncanny X-Men #210-213
  • New Mutants #46
  • The Marauders
  • The best way to guarantee the New Mutants’ involvement in a storyline
  • Limbo fashion
  • The responsibility of leadership
  • Wolverine vs. Sabretooth
  • Psylocke vs. Sabretooth
  • The evolution of crossovers
  • Characters we’d like to see more of post-Secret Wars

NEXT WEEK: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

The Mutant Massacre: A How-To Guide

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MM_header

…wait, that title doesn’t sound right.

Miles here! Our next two episodes will be about the Mutant Massacre, Marvel’s first-ever X-event. It’s super depressing; huzzah! (Just like a lot of other X-events, come to think of it.)

Anyway! Since the Mutant Massacre involves eleven issues of five and a half different titles and doesn’t have distinct chapter numbers the way later events do, we thought it might be helpful to post a reading order for those following along. For the sake of simplicity, I’ll post the order we decided to use in our upcoming episodes.

(Of note: every single one of these except Power Pack #27 is on Marvel Unlimited right now.)

The Mutant Massacre, X-Men side (Episode 65):

  • Uncanny X-Men #210
  • Uncanny X-Men #211
  • New Mutants #46
  • Uncanny X-Men #212
  • Uncanny X-Men #213

The Mutant Massacre, X-Factor side (Episode 66):

  • X-Factor #9
  • X-Factor #10
  • Thor #373
  • Thor #374
  • Power Pack #27
  • X-Factor #11

Daredevil #238 is technically a tie-in too, but it’s a loose enough one that we’ll be skipping it.

For an alternate reading order–including a very handy flow chart–we recommend the Mutant Massacre guide at UncannyXMen.net.

We’ll see you – and a ton of dead Morlocks – soon!

EDITED TO ADD: Andrew Vestal hooked us up with this perversely cheery Official Mutant Massacre Flow Chart that Marvel published in ’86. So, that’s a thing:

mm_flowchart

As Mentioned in Episode 60 – Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
The last thing you see before you die. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Do you ‘ship Storm and Bree Morrell now? You probably should. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
The outfits in this arc are just 100% amazing. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Damnit, Rachel. This is why we can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
“Teamwork! Our only weakness!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)
“It’s Madelyne! They’ve shot her! And dyed her hair! And given her fairly extensive cosmetic surgery!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Wolverine hates Arizona. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
We were going to make up a drinking game based around how many times Wolverine really or metaphorically kills Rachel in this story, but you would die of alcohol poisoning by the end of the first issue. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Spoiler: It’s a metaphor. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
THE OUTFITS, THO. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
…And again. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Same song, different issue. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Neither of you is wrong. You’re just both assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Well, that escalated quickly. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
THOSE. OUTFITS. THO. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Kitty tells it like it is. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Damnit, Selene. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Feelings are boring. Murder is awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
It really sucks to be a mortally wounded telepath, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Oh, SNAP. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
What. Selene. No. What are you even doing. No, Selene. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
No, but seriously: costume satin, right? (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
And then, it got weird. Weirder. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
‘Kay. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
That one time a member of the Inner Circle wore a costume so bad it actually killed him. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Fun fact: this is the second time they’ve pulled this particular move. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Okay, that’s actually pretty awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Seeya in Excalibur, kid! (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Next Week: New Mutants breaks our hearts, over and over and over.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING LISTENING:

60 – Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Rachel Summers went to sleep with Wolverine’s claws in her dreams and now there’s claws in her lungs and when she got out of bed this morning she tripped on her traumatic backstory and by mistake she dropped the Phoenix Force in the sink while the water was running and she could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

X-PLAINED:

  • Freedom Force
  • Supervillains’ day jobs
  • Uncanny X-Men #206-209
  • The X-Men’s first brief tenure in San Francisco
  • Terrible house guests
  • Lindsay McCabe
  • David Ishima
  • Bree Morrell
  • A metaphorical ghost story
  • Lycanthropy, but dumber
  • The crossing of several ethical lines
  • Death by narrative stasis (and also impaling)
  • Craft night at the Hellfire Club
  • Death by costume satin (and also heart failure)
  • One way to write someone out of a book
  • Our favorite Summers kids
  • X-Music

Special thanks to Elle Collins

NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants break your heart.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Rachel & Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 35

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Week of April 29, 2015 –


In which Mister Sinister is comedy gold, G. Willow Wilson gives us the Rachel Grey we’ve been waiting for, and we have some Feelings about Spider-Man and the X-Men.

REVIEWED:

  • Wolverines #16 (0:24)
  • X-Men #26 (3:51)
  • *Spider-Man and the X-Men #6 (7:09)

*Pick of the Week (10:25)

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!