Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 60 – Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

4 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
The last thing you see before you die. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Do you ‘ship Storm and Bree Morrell now? You probably should. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
The outfits in this arc are just 100% amazing. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Damnit, Rachel. This is why we can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
“Teamwork! Our only weakness!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)
“It’s Madelyne! They’ve shot her! And dyed her hair! And given her fairly extensive cosmetic surgery!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Wolverine hates Arizona. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
We were going to make up a drinking game based around how many times Wolverine really or metaphorically kills Rachel in this story, but you would die of alcohol poisoning by the end of the first issue. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Spoiler: It’s a metaphor. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
THE OUTFITS, THO. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
…And again. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Same song, different issue. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Neither of you is wrong. You’re just both assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Well, that escalated quickly. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
THOSE. OUTFITS. THO. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Kitty tells it like it is. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Damnit, Selene. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Feelings are boring. Murder is awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
It really sucks to be a mortally wounded telepath, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Oh, SNAP. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
What. Selene. No. What are you even doing. No, Selene. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
No, but seriously: costume satin, right? (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
And then, it got weird. Weirder. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
‘Kay. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
That one time a member of the Inner Circle wore a costume so bad it actually killed him. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Fun fact: this is the second time they’ve pulled this particular move. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Okay, that’s actually pretty awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Seeya in Excalibur, kid! (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Next Week: New Mutants breaks our hearts, over and over and over.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING LISTENING:

60 – Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

47 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Rachel Summers went to sleep with Wolverine’s claws in her dreams and now there’s claws in her lungs and when she got out of bed this morning she tripped on her traumatic backstory and by mistake she dropped the Phoenix Force in the sink while the water was running and she could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

X-PLAINED:

  • Freedom Force
  • Supervillains’ day jobs
  • Uncanny X-Men #206-209
  • The X-Men’s first brief tenure in San Francisco
  • Terrible house guests
  • Lindsay McCabe
  • David Ishima
  • Bree Morrell
  • A metaphorical ghost story
  • Lycanthropy, but dumber
  • The crossing of several ethical lines
  • Death by narrative stasis (and also impaling)
  • Craft night at the Hellfire Club
  • Death by costume satin (and also heart failure)
  • One way to write someone out of a book
  • Our favorite Summers kids
  • X-Music

Special thanks to Elle Collins

NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants break your heart.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Rachel & Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 40

13 comments

Week of June 3, 2015 –

In which one series ends better than another, Marguerite Bennett is your god now, and Secret Wars continues to be a suspiciously well-constructed summer event.

REVIEWED:

  • Wolverines #20 (00:49)
  • All-New X-Men #41 (6:37)
  • Giant-Size Little Marvel AvX #1 (11:04)
  • *Years of Future Past #1 (12:44)
  • Secret Wars #3 (16:34)
  • X-Tinction Agenda #1 (21:03)

*Pick of the Week (23:34)

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

June 2015 Shirt of the Month – Three Wolverine Moon, by Tyler Crook

3 comments

Screen Shot 2015-05-30 at 11.09.34 PM

Because sometimes correct taxonomy* has to take a back seat to the rule of cool.

3 Wolverine Moon_announcementart

Artist Tyler Crook (B.P.R.D., Harrow County) brings your wildest dreams–and our favorite persistent error–to howling life on this stunning shirt, which features not only a luminous full moon, but two entire Wolverines more than t-shirts with only one Wolverine on them.

Three Wolverine Moon is available on a wide variety of shirts, which can be worn consecutively or concurrently for additional simultaneous Wolverines; as well as tote bags, throw pillows, and stickers. It’ll be up in our shop until July 1, 2015, after which it will disappear forever.

*Yes, we are aware that wolverines are not wolves. That’s what makes it funny.

 

As Mentioned in Episode 59 – X is for Xtinction, with Chris Sims & Chad Bowers

4 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/7/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
What you see is pretty much what you get with this one. (X-Men ’92 promotional art.)
Not your mama’s Westchester: Meet Baron Kelly and his warwolves. (X-Men ’92 #1)
The early ’90s distilled into a single cover image. ((X-Men vol. 2 #14)
The cover of X-Factor #85 features three men with at least four men’s worth of individual muscles between them.
Animated Cyclops in a nutshell. (X-Men Collector’s Edition #4)
We have no idea where this comes from, but, yes.
What’s more ’90s than Sentinels attacking the X-Men while they’re playing LASER tag at the Westchester mall? Hint: NOTHING. (X-Men ’92 #1)
The gatefold cover of X-Men vol. 2 #1.
MASTER OF WORD BALLOONS! X-Men vol. 2 #1
Partying like it’s 1991. (X-Men vol. 2 #1)
Next Week: Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

 

59 – X is for Xtinction, with Chris Sims and Chad Bowers

20 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/7/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/7/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Chris and Chad teach us to stop worrying and love the ‘90s; the line between parody and homage is thin and flexible; everything happens at the mall; no one wants to play volleyball with Cyclops; and we totally fail to resolve the question, “Does a mall babe eat chili fries?”

WARNING: This episode contains minor spoilers for X-Men ’92 #1.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Westchester Wars
  • Battleworld
  • X-Men ’92 #1
  • Digital vs. print pacing
  • A continuity error
  • Narrative restrictions of Battleworld
  • The actual X-Men of 1992 (and the post-Claremont X-Universe)
  • X-Men Adventures
  • X-Men Collector’s Edition
  • Mutatant Genesis
  • X-Cutioner’s Song
  • Early Deadpool
  • Piecing together the Marvel Universe from trading cards
  • The X-Men animated series
  • Concurrent and complimentary adaptation
  • Cassandra Nova ‘92
  • The fine line between homage and parody
  • Definitive story arcs of the 1990s

NEXT WEEK: Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Rachel & Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 39

16 comments

Week of May 27, 2015 –

In which it’s all Secret Wars all the time; Dennis Hopeless is a consistent source of Feels; Old Man Logan fills the Wolverine-Western-shaped hole in our lives; Jubilee wins; and we are forced to radically rethink some assumptions about big summer crossover events.

REVIEWED:
*Inferno #1 (0:27)
Secret Wars Journal #1 (4:42)
X-Men ’92 Infinite Comic #1 (7:17)
Old Man Logan #1 (11:05)

*Pick of the Week (13:42)

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 58 – Miniseries Mayhem

8 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/31/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
We encourage you to judge this book by its cover. (Nightcrawler #1)
WELL DONE. (Nightcrawler #1)
No idea whether “Boggie” is actually a Bored of the Rings reference, but we’d like to think so. (Nightcrawler #1)
Yowza! (Nightcrawler #1)
We want a vacation home in Dave Cockrum’s brain. (Nightcrawler #1)
AND THEN A SHARK WIZARD HAPPENED. (Nightcrawler #1)
Things about this series that are absolutely delightful: all of them. (Nightcrawler #2)
Boggies X-Plain the plot. (Nightcrawler #2)
OH HELL YES (Nightcrawler #2)
Whoops. (Nightcrawler #2)
Don’t get comfortable! You’ve still got two issues to go! (Nightcrawler #2)
Bamfs are basically terrible sex smurfs. (Nightcrawler #3)
Meen. It’s spelled M-E-E-N. (Nightcrawler #3)
Suuuuuure, we’ve heard that one before. (Nightcrawler #3)
Wellp. (Nightcrawler #3)
X-cellent use of sound effects. (Nightcrawler #3)
Lady Bamfs are ALSO terrible sex Smurfs. (Nightcrawler #4)
CRETACEOUS SAM, WE LOVE YOU. (Nightcrawler #4)
That Illyana Rasputin owns a prodigious collection of pornography is the least surprising revelation of this series. (Nightcrawler #4)
In his defense, she does have extra fancy hair. (Iceman #1)
“You don’t steal another man’s elemental puns!” (Iceman #1)
If we had a dollar for every time this happened… (Iceman #1)
Aw, Bobby. (Iceman #1)
This could definitely not be read as an allegory for anything else ever, right? (Iceman #1)
This is basically how all of our family reunions go, too.
Sneaking in the window, in his underwear (costume, but STILL), carrying an interdimensional projector: kind of the perfect Bobby Drake moment, no? (Iceman #2)
Kiiiinda wishing they’d gone with Freaky Friday instead of Back to the Future, but whatever. (Iceman #2)
I bet at times like this, Bobby seriously questions his choice of superhero costume. (Iceman #2)
Well, that got grim fast. (Iceman #2)
“Man, Marty McFly never had to deal with this shit!” (Iceman #2)
And now, a surreal existential hellscape! (Iceman #3)
Not gonna lie: I love the hell out of this version of the X-Men. (Iceman #3)
NO SERIOUSLY IT’S EVIL PALETTE-SWAPPED ORKO (Iceman #3)
Oblivion X-Plains the story so far. (Iceman #3)
Teenagers, man. (Iceman #3)
Parents: the same in any dimension. (Iceman #4)
Iceman getting universe-defying moments of heroism is rare and pretty much universally awesome. (Iceman #4)
THIS FUCKING MINISERIES, MAN. (Iceman #4)
If we had to sum up Iceman in one image, it’d be this one. (Iceman #4)
The implications for multiversal continuity are kind of staggering. (Iceman #4)
Spoiler: This does not actually change anything. (Iceman #4)
Next Week: X-Men ’92, with Chris Sims and Chad Bowers!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

58 – Miniseries Mayhem

24 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/31/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/31/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Nightcrawler does Weird Tales; Iceman does Back to the Future; we want a vacation home in Dave Cockrum’s brain; Bamfs are terrible; the 1983 Iceman miniseries is straight-up bananas; parents just don’t understand; and Rachel will take literally any excuse to talk smack about John Ruskin.

X-PLAINED:

  • Vanisher
  • Nightcrawler #1-4
  • Bizarre Adventures #27
  • Iceman #1-4
  • The Well at the Center of Time
  • The downside to hanging out with pirates
  • A shark wizard in a tiny loincloth
  • Better living through sound-effect awareness
  • Boggies
  • The key to a classic Nightcrawler story
  • Earth-5311
  • Bamfs
  • The full extent of Rachel’s Smurfs knowledge
  • Cretaceous Sam
  • Sehv
  • Illyana Rasputin’s porn collection
  • The Drake family
  • An exceptionally unlikely girl next door
  • The definitive Miles’s Mom anecdote
  • Marge Smith / Mirage
  • White Light
  • Idiot
  • Kali (but not that one)
  • Two generations of Officers Ratchit
  • Pornography no one wants to see
  • Death by time travel
  • Oblivion
  • Night Man (kinda)
  • Our ideal cross-media adaptations

NEXT WEEK: X-Men ’92, with Chris Sims and Chad Bowers!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Rachel Reviews the X-Men, Episode 38

16 comments

Week of May 20, 2015 –

In which Miles takes a sick day, Dazzler gets her moment, and Earth 616 rumbles toward its inevitable demolition.

REVIEWED:
Uncanny X-Men #34 (0:25)
Wolverines #19 (1:53)

PICK OF THE WEEK: Mad Max: Fury Road (3:36)

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!