Possibly the grooviest Dracula-related cover ever published. (X-Men Annual #6)
HELL, YEAH, IT’S DRACULA! (X-Men Annual #6)
Kitty is having SO MANY FEELINGS, and you will NEVER UNDERSTAND! (X-Men Annual #6)
Check out Cyclops and Nightcrawler exchanging a look, like, “Parents? What the hell are those?” (X-Men Annual #6)
This panel is actually a pretty good encapsulation of what I remember about being 13. (X-Men Annual #6)
TBH, a lot of Kitty’s dreams probably start like this. (X-Men Annual #6)
THAT’S NOT A BAT. (X-Men Annual #6)
Dracula is probably the only person who looked at a bright green catsuit and yellow pouches and thought “stealth.” He’s mysterious like that. (X-Men Annual #6)
Ah, 13: that tender age when a young girl’s heart turns to eldritch summonings. (X-Men Annual #6)
Dracula, that’s really the kind of thing you should be keeping track of. (X-Men Annual #6)
[Eliot Spencer voice] “It’s a very distinctive sound effect.” (X-Men Annual #6)
How does Nightcrawler know the Montesi Formula? Who knows? Who cares? He’s a good pal. (X-Men Annual #6)
OH, SNAP. (X-Men Annual #6)
That’s our Wolvie! (X-Men Annual #6)
Lilith really looks like she’s visiting from an Archie comic. (X-Men Annual #6)
Skids and Northstar!
NEXT EPISODE: Fix the future!
And here’s a bonus gallery of Jay’s convention sketches:
Quentin Quire is indisputably the Nancy of the X-Men.
In which Dracula probably doesn’t drink his blood from a World’s Greatest Dad mug; Miles massively underestimates the cultural ubiquity of Sexy Dracula; Bill Sienkiewicz may or may not have ever seen a bat; Kitty gets possessed; and Dazzler is singularly well suited to a Vegas residency.
X-PLAINED:
Dracula’s ungrateful children
Marvel Dracula
A fortuitously named writer
Rachel Van Helsing
X-Men #159 (again) (briefly)
Sexy Dracula
The secret origin of sexy Draculas
Fastball Special body mechanics
X-Men Annual #6
A nightmare
“Bats”
Yet another Castle Dracula
The Montesi Formula
Sound effects, spoken or otherwise
Lilith
Chairs
The relative efficacy of holy symbols against Dracula
X-Vegas
Characters we have grown to love as a result of the podcast
NEXT EPISODE: Fix the future!
Check out the visual companion to this episode–along with Jay’s convention sketches–on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
In which we approach the end of Alan Davis’s Excalibur run; “duopenultimate” is not actually a word; Captain Britain pops the question; we do in fact (kinda) get follow-up on Alysande Stuart’s death; Miles needs to get a little less credulous about bureaucrats’ good intentions; Shadowcat engages in espionage; Nightcrawler and Cerise are tactically saucy; and the sun definitely ought to set on the British Empire.
X-PLAINED:
Warpies
Excalibur #61-65
The Jaspers Warp (more) (again)
The RCX (more) (again)
Agents Gabriel and Michael
What happened to Jay’s mom’s Hypercolor™ T-shirt
What not to do with a dead parrot
Several Hamlet references
Scott Wright (MicroMax)
The Cherubim
Cloud Nine
Agent Peter (Nigel Orpington-Smythe)
Warpie naming conventions
Beetroot
Screen tone
An idiom
Evasive makeouts
A specific thing on The Gifted
Why Kitty Pryde tends to go by her given name
NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
While this cover may be the first story page, it still follows the general rule of Excalibur covers: It’s funny when bad things happen to Captain Britain. (Excalibur #55)
Aw, they look so fancy! (Excalibur #55)
Alan Davis hair: expressive AND extra! (Excalibur #55)
HIS FOOT POPPED. (Excalibur #55)
Remember this plot thread? Alan Davis does. Alan Davis remembers EVERY plot thread. It is his blessing and his curse. (Excalibur #55)
Speaking of threads… (Excalibur #55)
This is both an excellent disguise and a quality Cross-Time Caper callback. (Excalibur #56)
Oof. (Excalibur #56)
This party is the worst. (Excalibur #56)
Captain Britain X-Plains the Plot. (Excalibur #56)
(There’s a lot of plot.)(Excalibur #56)
On one hand, Sat-Yr-9 is very evil. On the other hand, this is still very satisfying. (Excalibur #56)
Meggan is so badass. (Excalibur #56)
There’s a Monty Python sketch about this. (Excalibur #56)
“Next, you eat the banana, thus disarming him!” (Excalibur #56)
Too little, too late, Nick. (Excalibur #56)
Remember this kid? ALAN DAVIS DOES! (Excalibur #57)
KITTY, NO. (Excalibur #57)
Cyclops X-Plains X-Factor #41-42. (Excalibur #57)
(And so forth.) (Excalibur #57)
I don’t know why this is a thing. It doesn’t actually impact the story in any significant way. (Excalibur #57)
GAMBIT, NO. (Excalibur #57)
These jerks, again. (Excalibur #58)
This is a ruse, except for the part about Cyclops’s secret boot radio, because Cyclops is a nerd. (Excalibur #58)
I really, really want to know more about Margaret. (Excalibur #58)
TEAM-UP! (Excalibur #58)
Amazing what they cover in undergrad chemistry programs these days. (Excalibur #58)
JUST USE THE PHONE YOU RIDICULOUS PEOPLE (Excalibur #58)
And they all lived happily ever after! (Excalibur #58)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. therapy, with guest X-Pert Dr. Andrea Letamendi!
In which we finally emerge from the other side of X-Cutioner’s Song; rich people are different from us; Brian Braddock is probably not comfortable with menstruation; Dai Thomas cleans up pretty well; someone FINALLY remembers Sat-Yr-9; Psylocke knows how to defend herself from a man armed with a banana; the (non-Internet) trolls return; and we are fairly sure that Gambit does not actually speak French.
X-PLAINED:
Winzeldorf
Excalibur (so far)
Excalibur #55-58
Lip massage
The death of Alysande Stuart
A banana fight
Alchemy (again)
Many trolls
A fairly joyous reunion
The Brussels Sewer Museum
A fake heel turn
Our hopes and worries for the New Mutants movie
Comics covers
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. Therapy, with Guest X-Pert Dr. Andrea Letamendi!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
Live at FlameCon! Left to Right: Leah, Sina, Mags, Jay, Miles
Look who finally got a proper con banner!
OH MY GOSH LOOK AT ALL THESE SKETCHES! (We also forgot to photograph a ton of the ones we did, including one of Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in a Speedo. We are very sorry.)
Rogue, by Miles
Warlock, by Jay
Phoenix, by Miles
Business-Casual Cyclops, by Jay
Archangel, by Miles
Dazzler, by Jay
Phoenix II / Marvel Girl / Prestige, by Miles
MAGNETO! sharpie tats, by Jay
Iceman, by Miles
Quentin Quire, by Jay
Anole, by Miles
Jubilee, by Miles
Warlock, by Jay
Dark Phoenix, by Miles
Phoenix Quentin Quire, by Miles
Rictor, by Jay
Rogue, by Miles
Cyclops, by Jay
Wolverine, by Miles
A good drawing, which is how you can tell it’s not by us: Cyclops Has a Good Day, for Jay’s sketchbook, by Amy Reeder!
In which Leah dives headfirst into the world of con panels; Magdalene will burn down your idols; Sina is a fashion icon; none of the X-Men are straight (but they do share a sweater); you can’t spell “gay sex” without X; and we are all very, VERY in love with FlameCon.
Special thanks to Sina, Mags, Leah, Matt, Maya, Tea, Anna, the Discord crowd, and all our amazing listeners and patrons!
NEXT EPISODE: Stryfe’s Burn Book!
Check out some of our FlameCon photos and sketches on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
Meet the Excalibur of Earth-99476! (Excalibur #51)
This Sauron’s opinions on jorts are never canonically established, but I think we all know. (Excalibur #51)
I see what you did there, Davis. (Excalibur #51)
Ka-Zar, Lord of the Savage Land! (Excalibur #51)
The Fantastic Five! (Excalibur #51)
There is definitely an alternate universe that is the same as 616 in every way except that Dai Thomas ended this call by yelling, “The Aristocrats!” (Excalibur #51)
It’s true. I will pretty much always pay to watch the X-Men beat up Professor X. (Excalibur #52)
You know it’s an illusion because none of them is wearing a plaid suit. (Excalibur #52)
Several aspects of Rachel’s backstory as presented in this issue will be retconned away, but this is the most significant of those. (Excalibur #52)
WELL THAT EXPLAINS A THING OR TWO (Excalibur #52)
And then they went to space. For like a year. (Excalibur #52)
That’s our Brian! (Excalibur #54)
Spoiler: Kitty is cutting off his cast and it’s itchy. (Excalibur #54)
That’s our Brian! (Excalibur #54)
Oh, man, can you imagine Meggan at Disney World? I bet she has THE MOST fun and also gets asked to leave very quickly. (Excalibur #54)
It seems kind of ridiculous that he jumps straight to “must be an illusion” after everything he’s seen, but… That’s our Brian! (Excalibur #54)
I love the Crazy Gang and very much want them to be happy. (Excalibur #54)
The best kind of twist ending! (Excalibur #54)
The mystery deepens and gets even cooler-looking. (Excalibur #54)
As promised, here is a photograph of two-year-old Jay dressed as a compsognathus.
In which you should all come see us at FlameCon; all lizards are good lizards; we recap a recap; the Phoenix force is really complicated; Earth-99476 may or may not be the secret history of Earth-616; Alan Davis takes on continuity; the X-Men fail to save the day; the Phoenix says its piece; Rachel takes a vacation in space; Captain Britain doesn’t like to be psychoanalyzed; and the Crazy Gang gets a happy ending.
X-PLAINED:
Evil Shadowcats
Jay & Miles at FlameCon
Excalibur #51, 52, and 54
A brief history of Excalibur
The Phoenix Force
A recap of a recap
What this episode isn’t covering
Lizard Excalibur
The most meta t-shirt in the multiverse
Several long-ago Halloween costumes
Dinosaurs of Earths-616 and -99476
National Lampoon Vacation apocrypha
Earth-99476 and its Savage Land
The Fantastic Five
A vow of vengeance
Feron as an antecedent to Kubark
Alan Davis’s modern authorial counterpart
A telepathic journey
The full history of the Phoenix Force (as established circa 1991)
Inherited vs. inherent mutant powers (and a No-Prize explanation thereof)
The rehabilitation of Rachel Summers
Several retcons yet to come
Jean Grey’s inconsistent relationship to the Phoenix Force
A mysterious disappearance
What the Crazy Gang has been up to
The nicest kind of twist
A very easy way to make Kitty Pryde textually queer
Differentiating X-teams
The X-Plain Discord
Strong Guy’s new hobby
NEXT EPISODE: Cable: Blood & Metal
UPDATE: Not only can birds see color, but they can see a wider spectrum than humans. THE MORE YOU KNOW!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)