Mystique – Page 3 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 131 – The Reaver Bunch

October 24, 2016 Jay 12 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

That cloak! Those Kent Williams inks! (Uncanny X-Men #252)

These are not the foundations of a healthy relationship. (Uncanny X-Men #252)

Ah, yes, the old-fashioned way. With robot dingos. (Uncanny X-Men #252)

Man, Lady Deathstrike is so cool. (Uncanny X-Men #253)

Emergency medicine must be a pretty different field in the Marvel Universe. (Uncanny X-Men #253)

Really? REALLY? (Uncanny X-Men #253)

Never change, Callisto. (Uncanny X-Men #253)

“Wait, what’s this over here? A stack of books. They all say… Complete Handbook of the Marvel Universe?” (Uncanny X-Men #253)

Hope you survive the experience! (Uncanny X-Men #254)

MOIRA THAT IS NOT SAFE LAB WEAR (Uncanny X-Men #254)

Remember that time the Morlocks brought Professor Xavier back from the dead and then dressed him in bondage gear? Good times. (Uncanny X-Men #254)

Well, THAT’S ominous. (Uncanny X-Men #254)

Relationship goals. (Uncanny X-Men #254)

There’s such a thing as trying too hard. (Uncanny X-Men #254)

LOOK AT HIM MUGGING GOOFILY AT THE SECURITY CAMERA (Uncanny X-Men #255)

Aw, man. (Uncanny X-Men #255)

Aw, man. (Uncanny X-Men #255)

NEXT WEEK: Back to Asgard!

131 – The Reaver Bunch

October 24, 2016 Jay 18 comments

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In which Jubilee is the sassiest Xenomorph; Lady Deathstrike is way too good for the Reavers; Wolverine gets a sidekick; Forge arm wrestles the Shadow King; Moira takes a cavalier approach lab safety; Magneto’s motives get kind of reconciled; Legion is a chaos gamer; Mystique and Destiny break our hearts; queer erasure in fiction reflects erasure in life; and the Shadow King is not even a little bit subtle.

X-PLAINED:

That one time Donald Pierce pretended to be Cyclops for like a year
The post X-Men X-Men
What may be our deepest cut yet
Uncanny X-Men #252-255
Where’s Wolverine?
The Reaver Bunch
Major-League lumpoids
Robot dingoes
A prescient vision
Trouble at sea
Several significant deaths
Subtext and queer erasure
The key of agony
Smile noises
Non-mutants we’d team up with the X-Men

NEXT WEEK: Back to Asgard!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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Jay Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E10: Shadowed Past

August 26, 2016 Jay 15 comments

Ever heard of something called “The Draco”?

No, not the blonde guy from Harry Potter. The “Draco” I’m talking about is an Uncanny X-Men arc where Chuck Austen retconned Nightcrawler’s origin story to involve a father from an ancient race of demon-looking mutants long exiled to a hell dimension by a bunch of quasi-angelic counterparts.¹

The Draco is one of the worst arcs of Austen’s already fairly shaky² run; and generally considered to be one of the worst X-Men stories ever. It’s the continuity equivalent of awkward makeouts at your company Christmas party: everyone does their best to politely pretend that it never happened, and if anyone brings it up, everyone familiar with the story gets acutely embarrassed by proxy.

I am telling you about The Draco not because it has any relevance whatsoever to X-Men: Evolution–it doesn’t–but so that you will understand where the bar sits when I tell you that “Shadowed Past” is my least favorite take on Nightcrawler’s origin story.

As Mentioned in Episode 110 – Lights, Camera, Apocalypse!

May 22, 2016 Jay 7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

We saw X-Men in the middle of a road trip the summer after our senior year of high school. Terrible vacation; fun movie.

X2: X-Men United is a very loose adaptation of one of our favorite X-Men stories: the Marvel Graphic Novel God Loves, Man Kills.

The less said about X-Men: The Last Stand, the better.

Jay can’t look at this X-Men: First Class poster without thinking of the Buckaroo Banzai end credits. It’s a blessing and a curse.

X-Men: Days of Future Past is one of the more ambitious retcons ever to grace the big screen.

X-Men: Apocalypse opens in the U.S. on May 27; and everywhere else at some point in the surrounding weeks.

Apocalypse’s on-panel debut… (X-Factor #5)

…and the first time we saw his signature costume. (X-Factor #6)

“Let’s adopt him and, I dunno, feed him scarab blood? Look, man, I’m making this up as I go along.” (Rise of Apocalypse #1)

Apocalypse’s true, diabolical plan, as realized in “The Twelve”: To capture a bunch of mutants and I guess put them in little terrariums? Apocalypse is a complicated guy. (Uncanny X-Men #377)

Apocalypse: Somehow actually more progressive than Doctor Who. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)

The mechanics of Apocalypse’s body–and relative immortality–vary wildly from series to series. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)

In the Age of Apocalypse, Apocalypse takes over Earth ahead of schedule and makes everything super glam. (X-Men: Alpha)

Deadpool may not be an X-Man, but his movie did feature the best version of the X-Men costumes to show up so far on screen.

NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

ON THE PODCAST:
- Episode 6 – Days of Future Whatever was our first delve into the X-Men cinematic universe.
- You can learn more about Apocalypse in Episode 64 – Ski Lodge of Apocalypse; and Episode 88 – Just Before Dawn.
- You can hear Paul O’Brien–not Kieran Shiach, as we stated in the episode–explain Kang the Conqueror in Episode 85 – Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts: Complex Continuity.
AT THE MOVIES:
- Jay’s 2014 review of X-Men: Days of Future Past
- Jay’s (spoiler-free) review of X-Men: Apocalypse
- If video’s more your style, we also briefly discussed X-Men: Apocalypse (again, spoiler-free) over here.
EVERYWHERE ELSE:
- Cast Party is an ongoing series where the ever-splendid Elle Collins casts (and recasts) comic-book movies:
- You, too, can own your very own super stylin’ Elle Was Right t-shirt!

110 – Lights, Camera, Apocalypse!

May 22, 2016 Jay 41 comments

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In which the X-Men cinematic universe is a really mixed bag; Kang the Conqueror ruins everything; everyone wants a Sphinx hovercraft; Elle was right; and we bring you up to speed on all things En Sabah Nur–just in time for X-Men: Apocalypse!

X-PLAINED:

How Chamber got his torso back (and then lost it again)(twice)
Several ways to count X-Men movies
X-Men
X2: X-Men United
X-Men: The Last Stand
X-Men: First Class
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Adaptation anxiety
Distillation vs. dilution
Apocalypse (En Sabah Nur)
Rise of Apocalypse #1-4
Akkaba
Dubious survival tips
Fantastic Four #19
Doctor Strange #53
Ozymandias
Various horsemen of Apocalypse
Age of Apocalypse (Earth-295)
The Twelve
Cinematic X-costumes
Cast Party

NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!

CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay states that Kieran Shiach explained Kang in the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts. It was, in fact, the amazing Paul O’Brien. Mea culpa.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Jay Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E9: Survival of the Fittest

March 8, 2016 Jay 20 comments

I can summarize most episodes of X-Men: Evolution from memory, in a fair degree of detail; so it surprised me when, in reviewing the Season 1 roster, I realized I recalled almost nothing of “Survival of the Fittest” beyond the fact that it involved some kind of summer camp scenario. When I started to watch, I realized why: in a season where even the bad episodes are usually entertaining, this one is just boring as all hell.

On my first pass, I stopped taking notes five minutes in, because nothing was happening. By the halfway mark, I was actively fantasizing about watching paint dry.¹ But I am nothing if not committed, readers. I promised you a recap, and a recap you would have, come hell or high water.

Ah, well. At least I get to judge cartoon teenagers for their fashion choices.

93 – The Discreet Charm of the Brood

January 24, 2016 Miles 20 comments

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In which airplanes are really dangerous if you’re a mutant, Magik remembers that time she dreamed about remembering a dream, those who live by mystically bad judgment die by mystically bad judgment, It’s Always Mystique (TM), and everything leads to Inferno.

X-PLAINED:

Forge’s moral compass
New Mutants #62-63 and #65-66
Empath and irredeemable vs. sympathetic villains
Magical postal eagles
Nova Roma
Jag-u-ars
Art as era signifier
Time travel nightmare logic
Sharpiemancy
The “last” Brood
Jerk headmasters who won’t even let you commit murder
A long-awaited roomie reunion
Bret Blevins’s mad Limbo skillz
Claremont / Simonson character maturity equilibrium
Astrally furry pants
Loyalty to the living versus loyalty to the dead
The Ultimate Darkchilde
Wolverine’s surprisingly non-metallic teeth
Partying with the New Mutants

NEXT WEEK: Pryde of the X-Men.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 86 – Legends

December 6, 2015 Jay 13 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

Fall of the Mutants promotional ad.

Piotr Rasputin’s run as penciller on Uncanny X-Men was brief but critically lauded. (Uncanny X-Men #225)

Featuring what we assume to be the disgruntled letterhacks of 1987. (Uncanny X-Men #225)

If I had a dollar for every time a stranger had given me an uncannily precise palm reading and then a tiny chess piece of myself… (Uncanny X-Men #225)

The players and the board. (Uncanny X-Men #225)

SFX as panel borders? Yes, please. (Uncanny X-Men #225)

It’s worth noting that at this point, the Spiral / Ricochet Rita retcon had yet to be conceived. (Uncanny X-Men #225)

Destiny wrestles with the awareness that she’s trapped in a crossover event. (Uncanny X-Men #225)

A moment of slapstick in the midst of the high-stakes drama. (Uncanny X-Men #225)

Repping the fourth estate, Neal Conan and Manoli Wetherell. (Uncanny X-Men #226)

It’s cool. It’s not a real knife. (Uncanny X-Men #226)

You’re a good dude, Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #226)

She comes back a year later, and Forge has cannibalized his bionic parts to make a sweet Freddie Mercury costume. (Uncanny X-Men #226)

Those halcyon days when Havok’s impromptu diatribes didn’t suck. (Uncanny X-Men #226)

That’s one hell of a kiss. (Uncanny X-Men #226)

That cover. (Uncanny X-Men #227)

What. (Uncanny X-Men #227)

Well, that was unexpectedly graphic. (Uncanny X-Men #227)

“I mean, c’mon, dude. We’re in a superhero comic. You really think this is gonna last?” (Uncanny X-Men #227)

Somewhere in the multiverse, the X-Men were like, “Fuck it. Let’s just go to Disneyland.” (Uncanny X-Men #227)

Say what you will about Claremont, but he is damn good at epic ending beats. (Uncanny X-Men #227)

NEXT WEEK: It’s always darkest…

86 – Legends (Fall of the Mutants, Part 1 of 3)

December 6, 2015 Jay 30 comments

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In which we begin our 3-part coverage of Fall of the Mutants; Roma is very good at her job; strange things are afoot in Dallas; Mystique’s parenting skills are somewhat lopsided; Neal Conan is awesome; Havok gets a soapbox; Storm and Forge flirt with godhood; Rogue’s costume exists in a state of quantum uncertainty; Colossus is the organic steel wrench in the gears of chaos; and the X-Men die for real (but get better).

X-PLAINED:

Crossovers vs. events
The Fall of the Mutants
Uncanny X-Men #225-227
A really great marketing campaign
The Adversary (again)
Roma
The Starlight Citadel
Retcons as applied pareidolia
A metaphor that is also a real chess piece
A sort-of stabbing
Neal Conan & Manoli Wetherell
Literally hard-hitting journalism
A whole new world
Another variation on the Rogue’s-costume drinking game
A really improbable plan
The death and resurrection of the X-Men
Mutant metabolisms

NEXT WEEK: It’s Always Darkest…

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 78 – The Eye Killers and Other Cautionary Tales

October 11, 2015 Jay 8 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/18/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

We missed you, hawk ‘hawk! (Uncanny X-Men #220)

Well, THAT can’t be good. (Uncanny X-Men #220)

It’s somehow creepier that he turns out to be a hologram. (Uncanny X-Men #220)

Mugging at the camera and grinning evilly is a big Naze thing. (Uncanny X-Men #220)

Mister Sinister’s full-page debut! (Uncanny X-Men #221)

Look at this glorious sonofabitch. (Uncanny X-Men #221)

“Spirit and soul” still counts. Take a drink. (Uncanny X-Men #221)

Madelyne Pryor is no one’s damsel in distress. (Uncanny X-Men #221)

Depictions of sound in visual media are really fascinating. This is one of the cooler effects! (Uncanny X-Men #222)

More sound and speech balloons. (Uncanny X-Men #222)

In case you need an additional reason not to masturbate with a cactus: apparently that’s how you get eye-killers. (Uncanny X-Men #222)

“Also, you’re lousy in bed and you’re never going to finish your dissertation.” (Uncanny X-Men #222)

Things more metal than this cover: NONE OF THEM. (Uncanny X-Men #223)

HI, MURDER GRAMPAS! We missed you! (Uncanny X-Men #223)

Well, shit. (Uncanny X-Men #223)

That time Storm caught a fish like a bear. (Uncanny X-Men #223)

One of my favorite weird details of this era is Wolverine wearing that cowboy hat all the damn time, and no one ever commenting on it. (Uncanny X-Men #223)