We have no idea how accurate this depiction of Kamehameha Day is; but from what we’ve read, it sounds like a really cool holiday. (Wolverine: Bloody Choices)
Our villains. (Wolverine: Bloody Choices)
Also a villain. (The doctor, not the kid. The kid is just super doomed.) (Wolverine: Bloody Choices)
Nick Fury writes like a twelve-year-old girl, and that makes me so happy. (Wolverine: Bloody Choices)
Wolverine rising from bodies of water: never not rad. (Wolverine: Bloody Choices)
Meanwhile in a history that might have been… (Wolverine: Bloody Choices)
“Turtleneck Dracula” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, bro. (Wolverine: Bloody Choices)
I really legitimately love this dude’s design. (Wolverine: Bloody Choices)
Seriously. Wolverine. Moonlight. Bodies of water. It’s a thing. (Wolverine: Bloody Choices)
Despite evidence to the contrary, Shiv’s head is neither exploding nor severed in this panel. (Wolverine: Bloody Choices)
It’s hard to be a grown-up, Wolverine. (Wolverine: Bloody Choices)
“I’m ALSO sorry that S.H.I.E.L.D. never figured out a less passive-aggressive way to apologize.” (Wolverine: Bloody Choices)
The second-best time Wolverine blew up a helicopter. (Wolverine: Bloody Choices)
And they all lived happily ever after. (Wolverine: Bloody Choices)
Damn, Fury, get some better mementos. (Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure)
Dude sneaking up behind Wolverine is about to have the most anticlimactic day of his life. (Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure)
Gahck is awesome. In other news, I’m really upset about the vertical spacing in that third balloon. (Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure)
SPINY HONKER (Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure)
Once more for the back row: THE HONKER OF DOOM! (Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure)
I’m really just including this panel for the phrase “great rogue honker.” (Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure)
THE HONKER OF DOOM! (Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure)
Gahck has no time for your nonsense. (Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure)
He looks so happy! (Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure)
Probably feasible? Maybe? Ehh, it’s Wolverine, we’ll allow it. (Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure)
I feel you, Robopocalypse. (Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure)
“Once you’re one of my horsemen, of course, you’ll have access to an excellent Employee Assistance Program, as well as paid time off!” (Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure)
Wolverine has a LOT of semicanonical kids floating around the Marvel Universe. (Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure)
Look at these heroes being all heroic! (Excalibur #48)
Feron. (Excalibur #48)
Poor Rachel; like her *actual* memories aren’t traumatic enough on their own… (Excalibur #48)
Kyluun is a serious hero with serious skills… (Excalibur #48)
…mostly. (Excalibur #48)
Meet the new Widget. (Excalibur #48)
Aw, man, I LIKED that logo. (Excalibur #49)
The cross-time incursions in this issue are really fun. (Excalibur #49)
No, seriously. (Excalibur #49)
I like to imagine them all getting together and drinking tea and just sort of looking shell-shocked in quiet sympathy. (Excalibur #49)
“Quick, check for pouches!” (Excalibur #49)
Meanwhile in the multiverse… (Excalibur #49)
Ugh, THAT GUY. (Excalibur #49)
Props to introducing the new logo as a punchline to the previous cover. (Excalibur #50)
Kitty Pryde running into walls: never not funny. (Excalibur #50)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #50)
And in that moment, we were all Alistaire. (Excalibur #50)
His hands are huge and they can touch anything but themselves. (Excalibur #50)
HELL, YEAH. (Excalibur #50)
And THAT’S how you do an epic space battle. (Excalibur #50)
So there. (Excalibur #50)
UGHHHHH, THIS JERK. (Excalibur #50)
If I could remember the episode where I’d first made the “shoddy capitalist workmanship” joke, this caption would definitely be a callback to that. (Excalibur #50)
*Rimshot* (Excalibur #50)
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine is pretty short.
LINKS & FURTHER READING
Apparently the dead mail-order monkeys were apocryphal, although we were able to dig up some fairlynightmarishaccounts of live mail-order monkeys. …Yay?
On one hand: These dudes are pretty rad. On the other hand: being able to detect normal humans is a pretty ridiculous mutant power. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
John Romita, Jr. can be hit-or-miss, but he definitely draws some rad miscreants of the future. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
I would make a “No groveling! This is a proper Soviet household!” joke, but I feel like The Twelve Chairs might be an excessively deep cut even by my standards. (Uncanny X-Men #285)
Oh, hey, it’s a mysterious stranger! Doubt he’ll turn out to be anyone important. (Uncanny X-Men #285)
The Martha Stewart of whatever this dimension is called. (Uncanny X-Men #285)
Meanwhile in a different genre… (Uncanny X-Men #285)
LOOK AT THAT EXCELLENT LIZARD FACE. (Uncanny X-Men #285)
We give Portacio a lot of grief over his costume designs, but this one is really cool. (Uncanny X-Men #285)
He’s explaining the basic tenets of Socialism. (Uncanny X-Men #285)
“Ha! My brother was drawn by Dave Cockrum! You’re no brother of mine!” (Uncanny X-Men #285)
For all its flaws, this arc has its moments. Here is one of them. (The Incredible Hulk #390)
Also, let’s all take a moment to admire Rick Jones’s impeccable early-’90s fashion sense. (The Incredible Hulk #390)
And good times were had by all. (The Incredible Hulk #391)
One more Rick Jones fashion moment for the road. (The Incredible Hulk #391)
That’s kind of ingenious, actually. (The Incredible Hulk #391)
Welcome to the deeply depressing main event. (X-Factor #76)
“You can tell, because of his mustache.” (X-Factor #76)
You’d think gods would have less generic armor. (X-Factor #76)
And then Rahne did some killing. (X-Factor #76)
There is literally no good reason to have this in the story; but then, there’s literally no good reason for most of this story. (The Incredible Hulk #391)
“Good talk! So, back to paternalistic interference?” (The Incredible Hulk #392)
How does that… Why would you even… (The Incredible Hulk #392)
That panel in the middle, tho. (The Incredible Hulk #392)
Larry Stroman is back, and everything will be okay, except I guess for a lot of things, because this is a superhero comic. But still! Larry Stroman is back! (X-Factor #77)
Remember that time the Mutant Liberation Front looked legitimately and ironically awesome? Because that happened. (X-Factor #77)
At least Vic Chalker died as he lived: in a large robot suit. (X-Factor #77)
Not technically the most dangerous game, but definitely not recommended. (X-Factor #77)
RAHNE’S HAIR IS SO COOL (X-Factor #77)
X-Factor’s modular uniforms are really rad. Good job, Val. (X-Factor #78)
Know what else is rad? Tempo. Tempo is rad as hell and deserves so much better than the MLF. (X-Factor #78)
Maybe this is the explanation for everyone’s weird eye spots? (X-Factor #78)
[Insert canned laughter here.] (X-Factor #78)
Ouch. (X-Factor #78)
NEXT EPISODE: Tom Taylor and the true meaning of friendship!