Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 387 – You’ve Got Vid-Mail

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Colossus is a good friend and will call you on your bullshit. (Excalibur #111)
Rory Campbell, now with two legs and excessive foreshortening. (Excalibur #111)
I hate this party. (Excalibur #111)
Daaaaaamn, Kurt. (Excalibur #111)
Welcome to the CITADEL OF SCIENCE! (Excalibur #112)
Now we are bros. (Excalibur #113)
Meet the Knights of Wundagore! They are delightful. (Excalibur #113)
NEVER LET THIS MAN BABYSIT YOUR CHILD (Excalibur #113)
Doug, no. Letterer, NO. (Excalibur #112)
Moira’s hair got LONG. (Excalibur #113)
AW! (Excalibur #113)
They just don’t make dens of sin and iniquity like they used to. (Excalibur #112)
Je suis un chic type / Qui joue la guitare. (Excalibur #113)
Shades of Transmetropolitan.(Excalibur #113)
NEXT EPISODE: Shang-Chi!

LINKS & FURTHER MISUNDERSTANDINGS:

As Mentioned in Episode 386 – No Puppy for Storm

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
In which Sam Guthrie has an Experience. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997)
D’Gard is a snappy dresser. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997)
Brotherhood! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997)
This is the most menacing Maggott will ever be, ever. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
Who is this metal dude? It remains a mystery to this day. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
Remember when Maggott was Australian? (Uncanny X-Men #345)
Gambit, penitent. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
Thirst-trap Bishop. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
Thirst-trap Deathbird. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
NEXT EPISODE: Party on Mount Wundagore!

As Mentioned in Episode 385 – Super Whiny Adults Simulator 64

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Forge, what the everloving hell? (X-Factor #134)
BY YOU. THEY WERE EXAGGERATED BY YOU. ON PURPOSE. (X-Factor #134)
I don’t know what’s going on with Forge’s face here; and frankly, I don’t want to know. (X-Factor #134)
Wow, Trevor. Wow. (X-Factor #134)
Trevor has gone full creepy moppet. This is not a drill. (X-Factor #135)
This game sucks. (X-Factor #135)
WHAT THE HELL, KID (X-Factor #135)
Aw, Guido, we missed you, too. (X-Factor #135)
And now, time for the fun stuff! (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Comic-book space is a happenin’ place. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Either the sand figures are a metaphor, or Guido is a font of weird hidden talents. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Ha! (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Aw, it’s Kreetor! Hi, buddy!
Each saucer comes with a tiny image of Calvin peeing on a trademark symbol. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Biff! Bam! Pow! (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
*Rimshot* (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
The comic is good, but getta loada the activity pages! (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
I want to know if anyone actually cut these out and used them. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
I hope so. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
Spoiler: I’m pretty sure it’s an ice cream truck. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Maggott!

As Mentioned in Episode 384 – The Banality of Evil

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Chris Bradley’s problems include the legacy virus, bigotry, and whatever the hell is going on with his head. (X-Men Unlimited #15)
Ouch. (X-Men Unlimited #15)
You’re a good pal, Maverick. (X-Men Unlimited #15)
AUGH (X-Men Unlimited #15)
Friends of Humanity should not be this over-the-top. (X-Men Unlimited #15)
It’s the Marvel Mutant Sex Web! (X-Men Unlimited #15)
Caliban plays Chopin. (X-Force #65)
Check out that ruffled tux shirt! (X-Force #65)
Mimic has absorbed the powers of the original five X-Men, including Angel’s perpetual toplessness. (X-Force #65)
Definitely Not Disney World (TM). (X-Force #66)
See, this is why I don’t go to theme parks. (X-Force #66)
Meet Sledge. (X-Force #66)
NEXT EPISODE: Strong Guy wakes up!

LINKS & FURTHER AMUSEMENTS:

As Mentioned in Episode 383 – A Dude and His Ninjas

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
You definitely fight this dude in a Street Fighter game. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)
Is Warren Kenneth Worthington III a worse boyfriend than Matt Murdock? Show your work. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)
Kuragari may be kind of pointless, but damn does he know from thrones. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)
This is literally why Jay doesn’t live in SoHo. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)
Betsy, buddy, why did you program your dead friend into your murdering-to-blow-off-steam program? (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)
I recognize we’re not dealing with reality persay, but I’m still pretty sure this shouldn’t work. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #2)
Do you ever want to force fictional characters into therapy? (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #2)
Spirit Halloween, all the way down. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #2)
There are worse ways to store skeletons, I’m just saying. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #3)
Oh, no. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #3)
Hi, Force Ghost Tar. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #4)
It’s so convenient that souls come in the form of little figurines, so you know whose they are. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #4)
NEXT EPISODE: It’s probably pronounced like “risk.”

LINKS & FURTHER DIMENSIONS

 

As Mentioned in Episode 382 – Seven Swords

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
TECHNOLOGY! Large men putting screwdrivers into things, turning them, and adjusting them! (Excalibur #107)
Nobody trusts Spiral. (Excalibur #107)
Meet the Dragons of the Crimson Dawn! (Excalibur #107)
Do you ship it? We kinda ship it. (Excalibur #108)
The part of Marvel Editorial will be played by Daytripper in this sequence. (Excalibur #108)
Built your own atom storage box! (Excalibur #109)
That’s a lot of swords! (Excalibur #109)
Xiandu X-Plains the Dragons of the Crimson Dawn. (Excalibur #110)
I don’t know what makes this panel so funny, but it really is. (Excalibur #110)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: More Crimson Dawn

LINKS & FURTHER BACKSTORY

 

As Mentioned in Episode 381 – If We Told You, We’d Have to Kill You

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
If Alex Summers had more issues, he’d be a comics shop. (X-Factor #131)
I guess he swallowed the thumb, which makes its lack of repeat appearance less surprising. (X-Factor #131)
The world’s slowest plasma blast. (X-Factor #131)
The real reason for Jamie Madrox’s heel turn. (X-Factor #132)
“And if you don’t like our terms, there’s also a free AOL install!” (X-Factor #132)
Agent Bowser. (X-Factor #133)
The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Sabretooth. (X-Factor #133)
The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Wild Child. (X-Factor #133)
The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Polaris and Shard. (X-Factor #133)
The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Mystique. (X-Factor #133)
The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Forge. (X-Factor #133)
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. Crimson Dawn!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 380 – Arbor Day

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Autumnal. (Generation X #23)
I miss the Blue Ridge Mountains. (Generation X #23)
Banshee’s powers may not make any more sense in these panels, but damn if they don’t look cool. (Generation X #23)
Howard, you should know better than to appear in any comic ever. (Generation X #23)
“Clearly! I mean, you’re not a dog, or purple, or… oh.” (Generation X #23)
Just a regular ol’ sleepover. (Generation X #24)
Characterization by way of wardrobe. (Generation X #24)
Young Jubilee and her ol’ Gem Fusion pal. (Generation X #24)
Yep, that seems 100% accurate. (Generation X #24)
Emplate, gothiest crowd-surfer ever (Generation X #24)
Ironically, the turtle itself was telepathic. (Generation X #24)
The readers see the pictures but the girls just hear the words. Emma is a master of selective detail. (Generation X #24)
“No I did not realize! You looked much less evil before this morning! And also less awesome, if I’m being honest!” (Generation X #25)
Black Tom Cassidy, Mark I. (Generation X #25)
Man, kudzu really is invasive. (Generation X #25)
The death of the-Mondo-we-knew. (Generation X #25)
Black Tom Cassidy, Mark II. (Generation X #25)
Gaaahhhhh those creepy finger-needles in Emma’s head (Generation X #25)
Black Tom Cassidy, Mark III. (Generation X #25)
Like a samurai movie! (Generation X #25)
Could be worse, kids – Howard and the moppets ended up someplace way weirder. (Generation X #25)
NEXT TIME: X-Factor quits.

As Mentioned in Episode 379 – Stardate: Today

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
FAO Schwarz, allegedly. (Uncanny X-Men #341)
Gladiator is not great at diplomacy. (Uncanny X-Men #341)
I AM SO WORRIED ABOUT THIS POOR MAN AND HIS HORSE (Uncanny X-Men #341)
New Outfits: Trish (Uncanny X-Men #342)
New Outfits: Bishop and Rogue (Uncanny X-Men #342)
New Outfits: Gambit, Joseph, and Beast (Uncanny X-Men #342)
Well, that’s a new look for the Phalanx. (Uncanny X-Men #343)
One for your reaction files. (Uncanny X-Men #343)
Word balloons on the cover are an underrated gimmick. (Uncanny X-Men #344)
Where babies come from! (Uncanny X-Men #344)
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Black Tom Cassidy!

As Mentioned in Episode 378 – The Unstoppable Huggernaut

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That is a lot of Cain Marko. (Juggernaut #1)
WE’VE GOT SMEK SIGN! WE’VE GOT SMEK SIGN! (Juggernaut #1)
I do not want to be in Juggernaut’s fraternity, please. (Juggernaut #1)
I honestly do not know whether D’Spayre or his chompy demons look cooler. (Juggernaut #1)
They’ve been busy. (Juggernaut #1)
Presenting Black Tom Cassidy’s forked beard and his forked… boots? (Juggernaut #1)
Same outfit as last time, but Spite looks rad as hell in this story. (Juggernaut #1)
Aww shit D’Spayre looks even cooler here (Juggernaut #1)
Even Juggernaut’s skeleton is beefy. (Juggernaut #1)
Jay disapproves of this butt. (Generation X Annual 1997)
“You can’t be Catseye! Your hair is wrong and you’re not talking like Yoda! Aaaaaaand also you’re dead!” (Generation X Annual 1997)
“Thanks for saying my logo right, Jubes.” (Generation X Annual 1997)
Aww, kids. (Generation X Annual 1997)
March 2020 – present (Generation X Annual 1997)
Nothing brings out backstory like a Fear Lord! (Generation X Annual 1997)
Did the power pairings of the current New Mutants run get their start here? Prrrrrobably not. (Generation X Annual 1997)
That’s one biiiiig leprechaun in that executioner’s hood. (Generation X Annual 1997)
When Chamber’s mutant powers first manifested, they destroyed not only his lower jaw and upper chest, but also his swole-ness. (Generation X Annual 1997)
NEXT TIME: Space fashion!