Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Gabrielle Haller

As Mentioned in Episode 79 – Bear on a Boat

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/25/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Look! It’s Captain America! And… Dr. Druid. Okay, then. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
We see what you did, there. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
That… could have gone better. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
Let’s all take a moment to appreciate the fact that Wolverine is wearing a cowboy hat with his swim trunks. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
“But they don’t trust me! I know! I’ll sneak away! That’ll help!” (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
Magneto’s old helmet does not really work with his new disco neckline. (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
EVERYBODY FIGHT! (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
*rimshot* (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
“We could resolve this peacefully, and–actually, nah, you know what? Let’s just punch each other for another two issues.” (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
So, that happened. (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
“Howsabout bears? You got a problem with those, too?” (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
It’s not a miniseries until Rogue’s clothes explode. (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
MAGNETISM! (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
You’re a crook, Captain Hook! (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
It’s kind of like The Lady or the Tiger, only it’s The Naked Dude and the Bear but also They’re the Same Person, so actually it’s not really very much like The Lady or the Tiger at all. (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
Oh, generic Government Man. Never change. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
Well, that’s awkward. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
MAGNETISM! (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
Magneto, the Silver Age called. It wants its schtick back. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
But… I mean… That doesn’t even… You know what? Never mind. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
In the original draft of this issue, Magneto’s helmet turned blue and was eaten by Pac Man. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
Oh, COME ON. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
I swear at least one of those picket signs is straight-up lifted from Uncanny X-Men #200. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
The Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts begins on October 29! Prepare with this handy flow chart!
NEXT WEEK: Warlock vs. the Impossible Man!

ARE YOU READY FOR THE SECRET CONVERGENCE ON INFINITE PODCASTS?

79 – Bear on a Boat

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/25/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/25/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In no one trusts Magneto; Dr. Druid is the comfiest superhero; She-Hulk wants to punch a meteor; Rachel and Miles are really bad at both nature and maritime law; boat fights are the best fights; everyone makes terrible choices; and James Jaspers should really have been disbarred by now.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Darkstar vs. Dark Star
  • X-Men vs. Avengers #1-4
  • Magneto’s narrative milestones
  • Dr. Anthony Druid
  • A most peculiar meteor
  • The Soviet Super Soldiers
  • Vanguard
  • Darkstar
  • The Titanium Man / Gremlin
  • Ursa Major
  • Floridian vs. Australian fauna
  • Crimson Dynamo
  • Dock parties with the X-Men
  • Secrets of Asteroid M
  • Cartoonish pursuit
  • The drinking rules of costume semi-destruction
  • The Laws of the Sea
  • Why you should put your multi-team brawls on a boat
  • An abrupt creative shift
  • The Light
  • Several miracles of magnetism
  • An ethical dilemma
  • The (other) trial of Magneto
  • Magneto heel turns
  • Picking which tie-ins to read
  • The Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts

NEXT EPISODE: Warlock vs. the Impossible Man!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 50 – The People Vs. Erik Lehnsherr

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 4/5/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Professor Xavier reacts to the Xorn retcons. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Someone really needs to make a gif out of those three panels on the left. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Not satisfied with his own series, the Beyonder derails someone else’s. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
This is so ridiculously rude. I mean, what if Father Bowen had been asleep, or naked, or talking to a parishioner, or something? “SURPRISE!” (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Kurt Wagner echoes some common criticisms of Secret Wars. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
KITTY’S FACE. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Given the parallels between Rachel Summers and Magneto’s backgrounds, it would have been really cool to see this relationship developed further. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
So doomed. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
Oh, hi, Phoenix II! (Uncanny X-Men #199)
While we’re on the subject: Check out Allie Kleber’s gorgeous design for a ballgown version of Rachel’s first Phoenix costume!
Cue-ball special! Take a drink! (Uncanny X-Men #199)
You can almost hear the slash fiction springing into being. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
We’d make “Rachel and Scott Summers pointedly fail to communicate” a drink cue, but no one’s liver deserves that. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
It is super weird how much Val Cooper looks like Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, given that Thiessen would have been eleven years old when this comic came out. Photo-reference of future past? (Uncanny X-Men #199)
“We’ll start by attacking a dude at a Holocaust memorial. It’ll be great practice for your PR team!” (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Rachel Summers was totally the best Phoenix. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Magneto is a morally complex individual with really excellent hair. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
No matter how much you love your job, you will never love it as much as Mystique loves hers. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Magneto’s speech here is important, but what you’re really looking at here is his well-tailored suit. You’d expect him to show up to his trial in something like this, right? (Uncanny X-Men #199)
NOPE. Why wear a conservative suit to your trial when you could wear opera gloves and a sleeveless unitard with an M pointing directly to your crotch? (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Neal Conan x-plains Magneto. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
“The counsels for the prosecution and defense have been selected based on the quality of their Joan Rivers impressions.” (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Oh, these assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
So, basically, it’s Tuesday. Also: best editor’s note ever? Best editor’s note ever. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
I don’t think we talked about it in the episode, but this issue has the best damn sound effects. Seriously, I’m just gonna post a bunch of these, because they are great, and the lettering is aces. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
VYANNG! KRAKOOM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
SKBOOM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
RKOW! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
KTHAM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
ZARK! TUNCH! BDAM! THIS LETTERING, Y’ALL. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Let’s all take a moment to appreciate Kitty’s hella sweet outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
You’re not wrong, Madelyne. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
There’s something intrinsically hilarious about Starjammers fly-bys. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
KITTY, FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM AT… oh. Sorry. That was in poor taste. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Pretty sure that last speech balloon was supposed to be Kitty’s, not Scott’s. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
MAGNETO MADE SOME VALID POINTS. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Agh, god, Tom Orzechowski’s sound effects are SO GOOD. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Sir James Jaspers: total dick. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
CANON: This lady’s name is Judge Kickass. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Atonement

Cleric lvl 5 / Druid lvl 5

Range: Touch

(Uncanny X-Men #200)

NEXT WEEK: ECCC special, featuring Kris Anka, Marguerite Bennett, Kieron Gillen, and Peter Nguyen! (No idea why this photo is showing up upside down, but it looks kind of rad, so we’re just gonna run with it.)

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

 

50 – The People Vs. Erik Lehnsherr

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 4/5/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/29/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Magneto makes an official alignment shift; Claremont does a court drama; Professor Xavier makes poor choices; Rachel Summers comes by her communication skills honest; the Strucker kids are the evil Wonder Twins; and the podcast hits a major milestone!

X-PLAINED:

  • Xorn
  • Uncanny X-Men #196, 199, and 200
  • The X-Men status quo circa 1985
  • Magneto’s alignment shift
  • Beyonder-related existential crises
  • A hypothetical murder mystery
  • Minor vandalism as a harbinger of dark futures
  • Psi-scream
  • Brood classified ads
  • A thematic parallel
  • The tipping point in Scott and Madelyne’s relationship
  • The new, improved Magneto
  • The Professor Who Cried Wolf
  • Phoenix II
  • Earth-811/Earth-616 disambiguation
  • Freedom Force
  • The Trial of Magneto
  • NPR-616
  • James Jaspers
  • The best editor’s note
  • The mystery of Magneto’s age
  • Andrea & Andreas Strucker
  • What not to wear to court
  • A super icky sword
  • Phoenix morality
  • Sponsorship & conflict of interest

NEXT WEEK: Emerald City Comicon special with Kris Anka, Marguerite Bennett, Kieron Gillen, and Peter Nguyen!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 44 – Assembling Legion, with Si Spurrier

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Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available until 2/22/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Ruth and Luca Aldine. (X-Men: Legacy vol. 2 #5)
Our introduction to Legion. (New Mutants #25)
Legion has consistently inspired some of the best covers in Marvel’s lineup. (New Mutants #26)
DON’T WEAR FRINGED BOOTS TO THE GYM, TOM CORSI. DON’T DO THAT. (New Mutants #26)
That creepy laughter is so awesome. (New Mutants #26)
VVTOOOOM! (New Mutants #26)
Warlock is the best ever, forever. (New Mutants #26)
WARLOCK IS THE BEST EVER, FOREVER. (New Mutants #26)
Not gonna lie: watching the White Queen take Empath to task was pretty satisfying. (New Mutants #26)
Warlock is not super good at being human, and it is charming as hell. (New Mutants #26)
In which Charles Xavier owns some fairly heinous shit. (New Mutants #26)
No, seriously: Legion covers are pretty much always top notch. (New Mutants #27)
Next time you watch Pink Floyd’s The Wall, pretend it’s about Legion and Professor X. It works surprisingly well. (New Mutants #27)
Jack, Jemail, Cyndi–and David. (New Mutants #27)
Legion’s mindscape. It’s not a Demon Bear, but it’ll do. (New Mutants #27)
Does Jack Wayne scare you? He should. (New Mutants #27)
Cyndi: your angry teenager’s inner angry teenager. (New Mutants #27)
Who needs nuance when you can straight-up stab a dude instead? (New Mutants #27)
Love, love, love this title page. (New Mutants #28)
Lee Forrester contemplates consent, power dynamics, and maybe also Lovecraftian horrors. (New Mutants #28)
The last panel is, of course, a lie. (New Mutants #28)
The first time Legion broke the Marvel Universe. (X-Men vol. 2 #41)
The second time Legion broke the Marvel Universe. (X-Men: Legacy vol. 1 #248)
Legion’s mental prison, at the beginning of X-Men: Legacy vol. 2 #1…
…and after the jailbreak in X-Men: Legacy vol. 2 #2.
The Origamist. (X-Men: Legacy vol. 2 #4)
It is entirely fair to judge X-Men: Legacy vol. 2 by Mike Del Mundo’s gorgeous, brilliant covers.
Seriously, look at this. They are all this good. (X-Men: Legacy vol. 2 #6)
Professor Y. (X-Men: Legacy vol. 2 #6)
Next Week: We were going to cover a whole bunch of X-Men, but we ended up spending the whole time talking about Storm and Lifedeath II. WE REGRET NOTHING.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

 

 

 

44 – Assembling Legion, with Si Spurrier

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Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available until 2/22/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available until 2/22/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Legion grows from setting to protagonist; Rachel is a master of narrative rationalization; “Claremont” is a verb; Warlock befriends an airplane; Xavier owns a significant mistake; New Mutants does a deep dive into power dynamics; you should go read X-Men: Legacy already; and Si reveals the true secret nature of reality.

X-PLAINED:

  • Blindfold (Ruth Aldine)
  • Luca Aldine
  • Legion (David Haller)
  • Mental illness in fiction
  • New Mutants #26-28
  • Socialized medicine
  • Appropriate gym apparel
  • Rachel’s favorite scene from any X-book, ever
  • Claremonting
  • Jack Wayne
  • Cyndi
  • Jemail Karami
  • Roughly 20 years of condensed continuity
  • The Age of Apocalypse
  • Age of X
  • X-Men: Legacy vol. 2
  • Father issues
  • David Haller’s accent
  • The Origamist
  • Santi Sardina
  • A visual metaphor
  • The true secret nature of reality
  • Professor Y
  • The Franklin Richards Universe Hypothesis

NEXT WEEK: Spotlight on Storm

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 26 – The Other Team America (featuring Chris Sims)

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne!
Bobby is so very Bobby. (New Mutants #1)
Yeah, so, Dani, maybe get a handle on that. (New Mutants #1)
Remember, at this point, as far as everyone on Earth knew, the X-Men were dead. (New Mutants #1)
Oh, Storm. (New Mutants #1)
Meanwhile on Muir Island, REVELATIONS! (New Mutants #1)
“You’re not the X-Men. You’re just, um, wearing their original superhero costumes. Because, stuff.” (New Mutants #1)
OH, SHIT. THOSE GUYS. (New Mutants #1)
Well, that’ll end well. (New Mutants #2)
Gyrich realizes that part of the price of appearing in an X-Men book is occasionally having your conversation partner drop out for an extended inner monologue. (New Mutants #2)
“Son, I know Peter Corbeau, and you’re no Peter Corbeau.” (New Mutants #2)
Mostly including this to point out that FANDOM ZONE is a great name for a comics shop. (New Mutants #2)
FORESHADOWING. (New Mutants #3)
OH, NO! (New Mutants #3)
Aw, Illyana. (New Mutants #3)
Remember that time Bob McLeod drew a full page of a teenager and casual nudity and there was no sexualization whatsoever? Because that was RAD. (New Mutants #3)
Oooh, clever! (New Mutants #3)
Reinforcing the case for X-Men watching Star Trek. (New Mutants #3)
Aw, bros. And Magnum, P.I. For more on what happens next, see Episode 20. (New Mutants #3)
The more things change… (New Mutants #4)
That one time Professor Xavier wasn’t a jerk. (New Mutants #4)
And then the New Mutants just straight-up broke into a school dance. (New Mutants #4)
AW, SAM. (New Mutants #4)
WHY WOULD YOU PUT ALL THAT TNT THERE? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? (New Mutants #4)
… (New Mutants #4)
ETHICS. (New Mutants #4)
For more on these baffling gentlemen, see the links below.
Well, hello, Viper and Silver Samurai. (New Mutants #5)
Oh! Of course! Team America! Because, um, right, those guys. (New Mutants #5)
‘Kay. (New Mutants #5)
Xavier X-Plains the A-plot. (New Mutants #5)
Wait, what? (New Mutants #5)
Aw, Shan. (New Mutants #6)
Aw, Shan. (New Mutants #6)
Not that Black Mesa. (New Mutants #6)
Well, I think we can all be pretty excited that Team America have finally learned to control their dangerous power of making an extra good motorcycle dude. Dodged a bullet there. (New Mutants #6)
Next Week: NYCC Special, with Russell Dauterman and Kris Anka!

Links:

26 – The Other Team America (featuring Chris Sims)

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Art by David Wynne.
Art by David Wynne.

In which Danielle Moonstar is the Wolverine of the New Mutants, Henry Peter Gyrich is the Walter Peck of the Marvel Universe, Michael Rossi is no Peter Corbeau, Xavier is a Brood Queen (who is a jerk), Bob McLeod draws really good teenagers, the New Mutants do an after-school special, Chris Sims drops in for some emergency X-Plaining, Elsie Carson is the Harvey and Janet of Hydra, and Team America is generally sort of baffling.

X-Plained

  • Viper
  • Brood stuff
  • The original New Mutans (more) (again)
  • The New Mutants #1-6
  • Denial
  • Dani vs. the Danger Room
  • Mall stories
  • Neighborhood kids
  • Henry Peter Gyrich
  • Sebastian Shaw (again)
  • Project Wideawake (sort of)
  • Michael Rossi
  • A poorly-timed crossover
  • Gabrielle Haller
  • A profoundly unethical relationship
  • A Very Special Episode
  • Overkill
  • Magnum, P.I.
  • Team America (but not that one)
  • Elsie Carson, middle manager of Hydra
  • The Girl With the Silver Eyes
  • X-Men reading order

The visual companion for this episode will go up mid-week, due to New York Comic-Con generally kicking our asses (Among MANY other things, Rachel is tweeting–mostly cool X-cosplay pics–from the show floor, and Miles is working at the Dark Horse booth. Come say hi!). Meanwhile, for further supplemental material, we recommend reading Chris’s in-depth history of Team America:

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