Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: dazzler

As Mentioned in Episode 201 – Pump Up the Jam

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Damn, that’s a nice cover. (X-Men #10)
I mean, one of them is definitely not playing a part. (X-Men #10)
I know, buddy. I know. (X-Men #10)
Wait for it… (X-Men #10)
*snicker* (X-Men #10)
Throwing this in mostly because it’s a gorgeous panel. (X-Men #10)
Not even the end of the issue, really. (X-Men #10)
Wait, wasn’t Jon Bon Jovi blond in 1992? (X-Men #10)
That is some choice sideeye. (X-Men #11)
A little bit louder, and a little bit worse. (X-Men #11)
“Hey, wanna see if we can make the Psylocke/Cyclops sexual tension even MORE uncomfortable?” (X-Men #11)
TFW you’re just thankful the control booth is lined with Mojonium(TM). (X-Men #11)
Toxic masculinity saves the day! (X-Men #11)
Mojo directing his own murder is a little bit creepy. (X-Men #11)
YOU’D THINK ONCE WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH, BUT NO. (X-Men #11)
“Know what would be the worst, though? If we were all characters in a comic book.” (X-Men #11)
I don’t understand what’s happening around Maverick’s crotch; and frankly, I don’t care to. (X-Men #10)
This guy. (X-Men #10)
Can we get a close-up on that caption, though? (X-Men #10)
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, HARRAS. (X-Men #10)
Thaaaaaat’s our Maverick! (X-Men #11)
It really, really looks like Professor X’s head isn’t attached to his body. (X-Men #12)
Carter Ryking has come unstuck in time, but not really. (X-Men #12)
Aw, man, it’s nice to have a reminder of why I sometimes really like these two together. (X-Men #12)
I mean, Gambit and Rogue are doing okay, so the dysfunction had to go somewhere… (X-Men #12)
ART CHALLENGE: What’s in the file? Fill in those empty pages! (X-Men #12)
And the skeletons are like, “Dude, we’re RIGHT HERE.” (X-Men #12)
While these are all valid concerns, they’d be alleviated somewhat if anyone ever bothered to draw Professor X with a decent wheelchair. Seriously, X-Men artists, DO SOME BASIC RESEARCH ON THIS. (X-Men #12)
Now there’s a guy who knows how to put the “fun” in “funeral.” (X-Men #12)
Yeah, Logan, don’t get into a feels-off with Rogue. You won’t win. (X-Men #13)
Nicieza’s Beast is really, really good. (X-Men #13)
Aw, Jubilee. (X-Men #13)
Show him what he’s won, Rusty and Skids! (X-Men #13)
NEXT EPISODE: A musical interlude with X-Factor!

201 – Pump Up the Jam

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we begin our third podcast century; Cyclops is bi-inclusive; we have high standards for Mojoworld; Dazzler can survive your big-budget horror show; Jim Lee makes his exit; video games that involve Protomen are better than video games that don’t; and plasma is the new magnetism.

X-PLAINED:

  • Carter Ryking and his Very Durable Underpants
  • Fontanelle
  • Jay & Miles Town Cry ye X-Men
  • An upcoming event
  • X-Men #10-13
  • A somewhat disappointing Wizard of Oz pastiche
  • Those who like to go both ways
  • A mysterious, shadowy figure; revealed
  • Several of Cyclops’s uncoolest Dad moments
  • Zima
  • Moist Alley
  • Mojo II: The Sequel
  • The Image exodus
  • Mojonium™
  • An announcement
  • Longshot in the Mojoverse vs. Longshot in the 616
  • A Maverick adventure
  • Alexander Ryking
  • The other Xavier File
  • Warhawk
  • The Ryking Hospital for Paranormal Research
  • A poorly defined power set
  • Technicolor skeletons
  • When and where paper was invented
  • A likely-irrelevant pattern
  • The devil who haunts Stryfe’s dreams
  • Some non-X Marvel recommendations
  • Rusty Collins’s codename

NEXT EPISODE: A musical interlude with X-Factor!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 183 – Mutant Death Factor

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Listen to the podcast here.

All of those facial expressions are great. (X-Men #4)
Ewwwww. (X-Men #4)
File this one under “references that haven’t aged all that coherently.” (X-Men #4)
She yelled so hard it changed the shape of the panels! (X-Men #4)
These jerks and their delightful wardrobe! (X-Men #4)
Why is he allowed to live there, again? (X-Men #4)
That is… an outfit. (X-Men #4)
You can almost hear the inchoate yelling. (X-Men #5)
Cerebro is officially ridiculous. I mean, more ridiculous than usual. (X-Men #5)
Psylocke, just admit that you were sunbathing. No one will judge you. (X-Men #5)
More Fenris fashions. (X-Men #5)
“We worked really hard to reconcile the continuity between these two titles, and we wanted to make damn sure that you appreciated the effort.” (X-Men #5)
Cyclops was right. (X-Men #5)
That’s actually a really cool way to transition into a flashback. (X-Men #5)
“In addition to a Mutant Death Factor, I come with my own exposition!” (X-Men #6)
Someone’s crossed the X-axis! (X-Men #6)
He’s also got a dark pink tie in some panels. (X-Men #6)
SERIOUSLY WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS HE’S STUCK IN (X-Men #7)
Psylocke is the master of the deadpan plot twist. (X-Men #7)
If you don’t automatically hear this line delivered by Christian Kane as Eliot Spencer, I don’t know what to tell you. (X-Men #7)
Maverick. (X-Men #7)
It’s rough to be Alison Blaire. (X-Men #5)
I unironically love this trio of dramatic poses; and also the fact that I absolutely believe that these characters would pose dramatically before fights. (X-Men #6)
Aw. (X-Men #6)
NEXT EPISODE: Larry Stroman somehow manages to make the MLF look cool. (Also, there’s a Hulk crossover.)

LINKS & FURTHER READING

  • COME SEE US AT EMERALD CITY COMIC CON! We’ll be at T-11 in Artist Alley all weekend; check back here for panel and party details!
  • I’m fairly sure I’ve linked to “Class of ’64” before, but it’s one of the best-developed reimaginings of the X-Men I’ve found, in or out of canon.
  • Unfortunately, R. Orion Martin’s “X-Men of Color” series no longer appears to be online, but you can learn more about it here and here. (Also worth reading: Darryl Ayo’s rebuttal to Martin’s article.)

183 – Mutant Death Factor

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David is on vacation this week! We hope you enjoy this substitute illustration of two gentlemen enjoying each other’s company.

In which Miles is almost caught up on The Gifted (but still hasn’t seen The Prisoner and should be very ashamed of himself); Omega Red is a cool action figure but a boring character; Professor Xavier definitely knows what you did last night; Fenris remains delightfully trashy; Weapon X had an improbably high survival rate; Sabretooth cleans up pretty well; we need to work some new rules for dividing up character voices; the Mojoverse has terrible employee benefits; and mongoose blood will definitely not give you superpowers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Refugees from the Age of Apocalypse
  • Creative use of teleportation
  • X-Modifiers
  • Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
  • X-Men vol. 2 #4-7
  • The sitcom model of creative logistics
  • One way to bring someone back to life
  • Mutant Death Factor
  • Omega Red (Arkady Gregorivich)
  • Wolverine’s school pictures
  • Gambit’s ponytail and the logistics thereof
  • Sex at the X-Mansion
  • Fenris fashion
  • Ritualistic facepalming
  • Moira MacTaggert’s nightmares
  • Formalwear and motorcycle safety
  • An elegantly choreographed cockblock
  • Retracting tentacle logistics
  • Carbonadium synthesizers
  • Dr. Pepper Twizzlers
  • Ponytails as moral compasses
  • Sabretooth’s excellent taste in formalwear
  • Ornithology
  • Those big, weird tube handcuff things
  • Cyclops and Wolverine’s eventual friendship
  • The return of Longshot
  • What would happen if you gave a human a transfusion of mongoose blood
  • Some X-Cellent fanfiction
  • X-details we’d change

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Meets the Hulk!

Special thanks to consulting X-Pert and Actual Scientist Dr. Lauriel Earley!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 138 – What Would Dazzler Do?

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original.
Naked Man, you are the man! (Uncanny X-Men #259)
Freddie Stanacheck is back! From a background character to the real deal – just like Boba Feet! EXACTLY LIKE BOBA FETT. (Uncanny X-Men #259)
Starring Jack Nance as Strong Guy and Sheryl Lee as Dazzler. (Uncanny X-Men #259)
I love you, gruff-but-kindhearted-Eastern-European-guy! (Uncanny X-Men #259)
Chris Claremont, please narrate my life. (Uncanny X-Men #259)
SO MUCH COCAINE! (Uncanny X-Men #260)
This issue of Uncanny X-Men has been brought to you by Body Glove. Anywave, Anywhere! (Uncanny X-Men #260)
That’s some dedication to theme right there. Are these guys from The Warriors? (Uncanny X-Men #260)
From stalking and attempted murder to slapstick comedy: Eric Beale, ladies and gents! (Uncanny X-Men #260)
Andrea and Andreas von Strucker: the best at being the worst. (Uncanny X-Men #260)
A real American herooooooooo (Uncanny X-Men #261)
Marc Silvestri, please draw everyone’s face forever. (Uncanny X-Men #261)
I mean, geez! No eye protection in the lab? (Uncanny X-Men #261)
Hey, this wasn’t in my horoscope for today! (Uncanny X-Men #261)
Jubilation Lee: forever the best for always. (Uncanny X-Men #261)
Jean speaks for us all. Better get used to these costumes – they’ll be around for a while. (Uncanny X-Men #262)
Genosha gets scarier every time it shows up – and we ain’t seen nothin’ yet. (Uncanny X-Men #262)
Baby Forge hasn’t even started thinking about Dire Wraiths or Adversaries or mustaches. (Uncanny X-Men #262)
HEY THIS WASN’T IN MY HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY (Uncanny X-Men #262)
It’s the cowboy boots that really pull the look together. (Uncanny X-Men #262)
LEELOO DALLAS MULTITASK (Uncanny X-Men #263)
Hey, Masque got a makeover! I kind of dig it. (Uncanny X-Men #263)
“So, the, uh, conference room was taken, I guess..?” (Uncanny X-Men #263)
It’s like the cover to X-Men vol. 2 #1 except BETTER IN EVERY WAY (Uncanny X-Men #263)
I mean, I wasn’t expecting Forge making peace with his past to involve so many tentacle arms, but I’ll take it. (Uncanny X-Men #263)
Next time: the Starjammers!

138 – What Would Dazzler Do?

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Art by David Wynne

In which we continue to follow the post-Siege Perilous X-Men; Dazzler finally makes her big-screen debut; Callisto gets a day job; Colossus gets a ponytail; still more X-Men fake their deaths; Jean Grey gets tentacles; Professor Wolverine is a jerk; and Jay overthinks Community.

X-PLAINED:

  • The new-new Howling Commandos
  • Hit-Monkey
  • Uncanny X-Men #259-263
  • Dazzler: The Movie (again)
  • Freddie Stanacheck
  • Eric Beale
  • What Dazzler would do
  • Peter Nicholas
  • Jenny Ransome and Phillip Moreau (again)
  • Twin Peaks references, canonical and otherwise
  • Genoshan foreign policy
  • The value of allegory
  • Some regrettable X-costumes
  • That time Jean Grey got tentacles
  • Molly the cat
  • Dubious medical ethics
  • Hardcase and the Harriers
  • An unlikely pizza party
  • A theoretical Community/X-Men costume party

NEXT EPISODE: Spotlight on the Starjammers!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 124 – The Cruelest Planet

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
“Yep, those four seconds of fighting totally justified the millions of dollars we spent on this Wolverine robot. Thanks, crime!” (Uncanny X-Men #248)
Musical X-Men! Ricochet Rita! Involuntary foreshadowing! This issue’s got it all. (Uncanny X-Men #248)
Goodbye, Longshot. (Uncanny X-Men #248)
“This Jim Lee workout program has been working really well! Also, Ali, maybe you should start using sunscreen?” (Uncanny X-Men #248)
Intentions versus outcomes. Oh, Havok… (Uncanny X-Men #248)
Goodbye, Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #248)
This way, no one will ever forget where to sit! Also, tragedy. So much tragedy. (Uncanny X-Men #249)
We didn’t talk much about this in the episode, but Polaris’s life is pretty terrible when this arc starts. (Uncanny X-Men #249)
Colossus’s teacher is totally going to call Mr. and Mrs. Rasputin in for a parent-teacher conference. (Uncanny X-Men #249)
“Hey, we heard there was a party going on here? We brought brewskis!” (Uncanny X-Men #249)
BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM (Uncanny X-Men #249)
Everything in this issue is both epic and overly abrupt. (Uncanny X-Men #250)
EWWWWWWW (Uncanny X-Men #250)
Psylocke makes some incredibly questionable decisions next issue to get the X-Men out of Australia, but I can’t fully blame her… (Uncanny X-Men #250)
Suddenly, it’s every notable Savage Land character ever! Hi, guys! (Uncanny X-Men #250)
This scene: so weird. So awesome. But also so weird. (Uncanny X-Men #250)
By Crom! (Uncanny X-Men #251)
A fine dose of dream logic, fueled by pure continuity. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Goodbye, Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Goodbye, Dazzler. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Goodbye, Havok. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Goodbye, Psylocke. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
The visual equivalent of show, don’t tell. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Ever have a day so shitty you hallucinated the future? (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Damn, Logan. Damn. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
NEXT WEEK: Giant-Size Summer Special: Evolution Edition!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

124 – The Cruelest Planet

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which everyone dies (or something); every Summers is miserable in their own way; we are pretty done with Nanny and the Orphanmaker; Lady Deathstrike is a surprisingly astute art critic; the X-Men’s digital invisibility does not extend to the White Pages; we venture into slightly less charted territory; Wolverine has a really bad day; and you should totally come hang out with us at Rose City Comic Con!

X-PLAINED:

  • Origins of Lady Deathstrike
  • Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
  • X-Ray party etiquette
  • Uncanny X-Men #248-251
  • The precise inverse of an anticlimax
  • The Siege Perilous (more) (again)
  • Dramatic parallels
  • Summers tragedy disambiguation
  • Jim Lee’s first X-issue
  • The apparent death of Storm (this time)
  • The merged Reavers
  • What it takes for Jay to play a sidescroller
  • An X-band
  • Longshot’s departure
  • A really ineffective rescue
  • Art-critic Deathstrike
  • Administrative assistant Jubilee
  • Zaladane
  • An unconventional approach to genealogy
  • The ickiest method of mind control
  • Dark Claw

NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE SUMMER SPECIAL!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 123 – Mojo Mayhem

6 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Oh, my. (Marvel Comics Presents #31)
The one significant drawback to Marvel Style is that sometimes the dialogue seems to be chasing after runaway art. (Marvel Comics Presents #36)
I would read this book. I would read this book SO HARD. (Marvel Comics Presents #37)
And that’s all, folks! (Marvel Comics Presents #38)
Now, THAT’S how you do an opening splash page. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
Heh. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
Aw, man. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
Minor Domo is delightful. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
Hell, this WHOLE STORY is delightful. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
Cats Laughing! (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
Welcome to your new anxiety dream. Hope you survive the experience! (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
What’s really amazing is that this isn’t remotely her worst costume. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
The Agent is a pretty silly concept, but in practice, he’s a genuinely scary villain. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
That time Kitty Pryde and the X-Babies stole Chris Claremont’s car. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
I really love this bit–it’s a very clever move on Kitty’s part and sets up a wedding-crashing brawl, which is always a visual treat. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
I’m usually a stickler for “their powers don’t usually work that way” complaints; but a) Kitty’s powers have been blinky lately anyway; and b) rule of cool. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)
NEXT EPISODE: Death in the Outback.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

123 – Mojo Mayhem

25 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Jay and Miles return to Rose City Comic Con; “Having a Wild Weekend” is the mash-up t-shirt of Excalibur stories; swears are for everyone; Arcade is not a subtle villain; we love Art Adams a lot; Minor-Domo is the Harvey and/or Janet of the Mojoverse; Kitty gets another new costume; and the X-Babies carjack their creators.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Agent
  • Jay and Miles at Rose City Comic Con 2016
  • What Excalibur has instead of annuals
  • Competing theories of Eriks Larsen
  • “Having a Wild Weekend” (Marvel Comics Presents #31-38)
  • The Community reference that keeps on giving
  • How to fight on the Internet without being a dick
  • A large number of thinly veiled TV references
  • The X-Babies
  • Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem
  • Ricochet Rita (again)
  • Psychonauts
  • Exploding children (more) (again)
  • The House of Ideas
  • The New Universe
  • Major Domo
  • Minor Domo
  • Jay’s dream vacation
  • Cats Laughing (more) (again)
  • Cosplay you should totally do
  • Why you should always read the EULA
  • The classic X-Men spirit
  • Some of our favorite cameos
  • The return of Judith Rassendyll
  • One fairly specific way to ruin a wedding
  • Where to find Havok in comics
  • X-Men we’d like to see as wizards

NEXT EPISODE: Death in the Outback

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!