Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Jaspers Warp

As Mentioned in Episode 505 – The Amulet of Ass

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Excalibur volume 2! But actually more like Captain Britain volume 2. (Excalibur #1)
Pretty sure we’ve all had that dream. (Excalibur #1)
What a sciencey science machine that is! (Excalibur #1)
You’d think Betsy’s face tattoo would remind Brian of the Crimson Dawn… But honestly, who remembers the Crimson Dawn? (Excalibur #1)
Where’s Waldo? (Or, this being a British story: Where’s Wally?) (Excalibur #1)
Some friend. (Excalibur #1)
Captain UK’s mullet remains sweet. (Excalibur #1)
Hi, Crusader X! (Excalibur #2)
Meggan didn’t get the memo that this was a crotch-first mission. (Excalibur #2)
…as played by Viggo Mortensen. (Excalibur #2)
I do love a good Team Hero pose. (Excalibur #2)
“It’s… probably one of these things on my back… Hang on…” (Excalibur #2)
The Brit-Cave! (Excalibur #2)
Subtlety! (Excalibur #3)
The greatest hero in history, chosen primarily for his… sperm? (Excalibur #3)
“Not, like, literally Excalibur. That thing’s in the next room.” (Excalibur #3)
An evil science machine! (Excalibur #3)
You guys used to be cuter. And less murderous. (Excalibur #3)
Gahhh, this panel is referencing a specific past panel from a specific past comic, but we can’t remember which! (Excalibur #3)
Sword of Omens, grant me sight beyond sight! (Excalibur #3)
Best trope best trope! (Excalibur #4)
Mastermind wields the blade Excalibur! Brian Braddock wields an especially dangerous word balloon! (Excalibur #4)
With the powers of elemental magic, telekinesis, and… sword! (Excalibur #4)
It works way better to sacrifice your queen when your queen is immune to death. (Excalibur #4)
“Hey, I liked my spikes, ya jerk!” (Excalibur #4)
The chamber would be filled with old familiar faces, but they’re all dead. (Excalibur #4)
…and no one ever spoke of this again. (Excalibur #4)
NEXT TIME: Rachel Summers is back!

505 – The Amulet of Ass

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In which Widget takes a heel turn; there is some confusion over sword identification; we appreciate Sir Benedict of the Falls; the Braddock family has a lot going on; and Otherworld changes hands.

X-PLAINED:

  • Names for flying horses
  • Excalibur (2001 miniseries) #1-4
  • Captain Britain (Brian Braddock) (briefly) (again)
  • The Black Knight (Dane Whitman)
  • Darkmoor Research Facility
  • Sword and amulet distribution
  • Strider the Horse
  • Why all the horses of Asgard have Tolkien names
  • Sir Benedict of the Falls and his many axes
  • One way to win a bridge fight
  • Sword pops
  • Several continuity errors
  • Holographic James Braddock
  • The Dad Cave
  • Otherworld eugenecists
  • A coronation
  • A twist
  • Some potential X-Factor lineups
  • Life expectancies of mutants with healing factors

NEXT EPISODE: Cable fights some guys.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 220 – On Your Bike

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Who wore it better? (Excalibur #61)
I’m pretty sure nobody actually cares about Micromax; but, whatever. (Excalibur #61)
Widget, stop that immediately. (Excalibur #61)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Excalibur #61)
If there’s anything this series has taught us, it’s never to trust a man named Nigel. (Excalibur #62)
In case you’re wondering, most of this visual companion is going to be pictures of cool-looking Warpies. (Excalibur #62)
No, seriously. (Excalibur #62)
Aw, Beetroot. (Excalibur #62)
This poor kid. (Excalibur #62)
*Snerk* (Excalibur #62)
WARPIES, THO (Excalibur #63)
Aw. (Excalibur #63)
What’s that you say? More Warpies? WE’VE GOT YOUR BACK! (Excalibur #63)
I’m not even going to bother captioning these. You know the drill. (Excalibur #63)
(Excalibur #63)
(Excalibur #63)
Widget and the amazing technicolor future genocide by giant r–well, that took a bit of a turn. (Excalibur #64)
PRO TIP: If you stare long enough at your friends and neighbors’ faces without blinking, they will also do this eventually. (Excalibur #65)
Rowr. (Excalibur #65)
“Well, that can’t be good.” (Excalibur #65)
Ouch, dang. (Excalibur #65)
Aw, Oak. You’re a good dude. (Excalibur #65)
And that, as they say, is that. For now. (Excalibur #65)
NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight!

LINKS & FURTHER DUBIOUS LIFE CHOICES:

220 – On Your Bike

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we approach the end of Alan Davis’s Excalibur run; “duopenultimate” is not actually a word; Captain Britain pops the question; we do in fact (kinda) get follow-up on Alysande Stuart’s death; Miles needs to get a little less credulous about bureaucrats’ good intentions; Shadowcat engages in espionage; Nightcrawler and Cerise are tactically saucy; and the sun definitely ought to set on the British Empire.

X-PLAINED:

  • Warpies
  • Excalibur #61-65
  • The Jaspers Warp (more) (again)
  • The RCX (more) (again)
  • Agents Gabriel and Michael
  • What happened to Jay’s mom’s Hypercolor™ T-shirt
  • What not to do with a dead parrot
  • Several Hamlet references
  • Scott Wright (MicroMax)
  • The Cherubim
  • Cloud Nine
  • Agent Peter (Nigel Orpington-Smythe)
  • Warpie naming conventions
  • Beetroot
  • Screen tone
  • An idiom
  • Evasive makeouts
  • A specific thing on The Gifted
  • Why Kitty Pryde tends to go by her given name

NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Hello, Meggan!
Say what you will about Dai Thomas; the man is thorough.
The Crazy Gang tries so hard.
These dudes really really seem like they must be a reference to something, but we were unable to dig up a clear source.
Also how we found Kyle.
She may be the evil dictator of a crypto-Nazi dystopian Earth, but damned if Sat-Yr-Nin doesn’t have great hair.
It’s kind of charming how petty Brian gets when he’s feeling self-righteous.
Sidney Crumb is ill.
Aw, man.
I’m’a let you finish, X-Men, but this is the best team in the Marvel Universe.
Captain Britain is a superhero comic that is also an extended metaphor that is also a superhero comic.
One more Technet group shot, just because.
Brian Braddock summed up in a single panel.
The Cherubim. Don’t get too attached–they’re super doomed.
Okay, then.
Captain U.K. and her therapy mullet.
Meanwhile at Stately Braddock Manor…
The real superpower is adherence to narrow beauty standards, but flight is also pretty cool.
This sequence really needs to be set to the Benny Hill theme.
Oldest trap in the book.
MORE TECHNET! It’s Technet Christmas!
There’s probably a universe where Captain Britain is in fact a girl gang, and that’s the universe where I want to live.
Fridging summed up in a single panel.
Remember that time the protagonist, a superhero, straight-up smashed a dude’s head in with a boulder? Because that definitely happened in this comic.
Don’t quit your day job, kid.
Hardboiled gangster Meggan is the goddamn best.
No, seriously, there should be a whole comic that’s just about the two of them doing this.
That RICK sound effect, tho.
OH, HI.
And they all lived happily ever after, but not really, because that doesn’t make for a very interesting ongoing series.
NEXT EPISODE: Genosha is for lovers!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

 

98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which we continue our coverage of pre-Excalibur Captain Britain; S.T.R.I.K.E. is D.U.C.K. is W.H.O.; the R.C.X. is one lapse in judgment away from on-the-job cosplay; Meggan levels up; your name will never be as cool as Doctor Crocodile’s; Technet writes their own cold opens; and we announce the upcoming debut of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men!

 

X-PLAINED:

  • A large number of acronyms
  • Irony
  • Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • Mighty World of Marvel #14-16
  • Captain Britain #1-14
  • The aftermath of the Jaspers Warp
  • Inspector Dai Thomas
  • How to work out a superhero’s secret identity
  • The Crazy Gang (more) (again)
  • Slaymaster
  • Captain Britain’s costume
  • Sidney Crumb
  • Gatecrasher’s Technet (more) (again)
  • Earth-794
  • Kaptain Briton
  • Sat-Yr-Nin
  • The R.C.X.
  • Agents Gabriel & Michael
  • The Warpies
  • The Cherubim
  • Meggan (more) (again)
  • Doctor Crocodile
  • Jamie Braddock
  • Betsy Braddock’s short and calamitous tenure as Captain Britain
  • Women in Refrigerators
  • Our thoughts on the X-movies
  • Mutant heredity

NEXT EPISODE: Genosha Is for Lovers

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 97 – The Crooked World

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Listen to the episode here.

The Story So Far.
How awesome a group cosplay would this be? (Answer: so awesome.)
That’s quite a battle cry, Cap.
THIS GUY.
Jim Jaspers X-Plains Jim Jaspers (but leaves out the part where he prosecutes Magneto).
The first death of Captain Britain.
“Have fun with that, dude!”
“Show, don’t tell” in action.
There’s nothing more awkward than coming home to discover that your house has been taken over by an evil supercomputer.
Slaymaster and his amazing mustache.
This heist…
…is the best heist…
…even if it doesn’t end quite as planned.
Captain Albion is by far and away the best-dressed member of the Captain Britain corps.
Welcome to your nightmares for the next week.
Future Traumatic Stress Disorder is no laughing matter.
We have never identified so hard with Captain Britain as we did in this moment.
Seriously, though, can’t you see it as a sitcom?
Oh, that’ll end well.
*shudder*
Again: We cannot overemphasize how scary the Fury is.
It’s Meggan’s first appearance! HI, MEGGAN!
Speaking of first appearances (well, at least in 616), here’s the Crazy Gang!
(Immediately followed by one of the most satisfying ass-kickings in any superhero comic, ever.)
It’s okay. He’s only faking.
WHY DOES NO ONE EVERY GROUP-COSPLAY THE CAPTAIN BRITAIN CORPS? Maybe they do in the U.K. We fervently hope so.
NEXT WEEK: But wait! There’s more!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

97 – The Crooked World

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which we venture out of our wheelhouse; Contest of Champions is ridiculous in any medium; Captain Britain would like you to unhand that elf; the Fury is legitimately terrifying; the Special Executive is the best at heists; Brian Braddock knows exactly what he’s getting into; Merlyn is the multiversal Charles Xavier; and this is really just the tip of the iceberg.

X-PLAINED:

  • Various Contests of Champions
  • ISO-8
  • Marvel UK
  • Marvel Superheroes 377-388
  • Daredevils 1-11
  • Mighty World of Marvel 7-13
  • Captain Britain (Brian Braddock)
  • Jackdaw
  • Earth-238
  • Mad Jim Jaspers
  • The Crazy Gang
  • Algernon the Rat
  • Omniversal Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnyne
  • Life-Enhancing Fluid
  • The Fury
  • Alan Moore juvenilia
  • The (first) death and rebirth of Captain Britain
  • How to make a retcon work
  • Mastermind (but not that Mastermind)
  • Emma Collins
  • Pre-Psylocke Betsy Braddock
  • S.T.R.I.K.E.
  • Vixen
  • Slaymaster
  • The Trial of Saturnyne
  • The Special Executive
  • Mandragon
  • The Captain Britain Corps
  • Captain U.K. (Linda McQuillan)
  • Marvelman vs. Miracleman
  • Future Traumatic Stress Disorder

NEXT EPISODE: But wait! There’s more!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 89: Giant-Size Special #3

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
It is probably okay to judge this book by its awesome cover. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Superheroes have the best anxiety dreams. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
AUGH. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
BEHIND THE SCENES: Jay keeps accidentally calling the Warwolves Whywolves. It’ll probably happen on air eventually. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Hi, Meggan! (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
The feeling of wanting to yell at Brian Braddock will be your constant and loyal companion in this series. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
THAT BEDROOM, THO (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Meggan is the nicest person ever. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Sexiest Nightcrawler! (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Gatecrasher: never not delightful. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Omniversal Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnine. You can tell she’s important because her hair is extra swoopy. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
More Technet. Look at these beautiful people. Look at them. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
London takes fancy-dress parties seriously. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Sexiest Nightcrawler stars in the Sexiest Intervention. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
“No sense moping. I’m gonna manifest a cosmic force and start dressing like I’m on Dynasty.” (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
BLIX! JRBL! VOOTIE! Your argument is invalid. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
The True Meaning of Christmas. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Elle casts Excalibur:

Captain Britain – Richard Madden
Megan – Hannah Murray
Shadowcat – Isabelle Fuhrman
Phoenix – Karen Gillan
Nightcrawler – Danny Pudi
Saturnyne/Courtney Ross/etc – Natalie Dormer

(Seriously, though, can we all just take a moment to think about Daveed Diggs as Nightcrawler? -J)
Elle casts Technet (and Alistaire Stuart):

Gatecrasher – Kathy Bates
Scatterbrain – Cara Delevingne
China Doll – Tristan Risk
Ferro – Ray Park
Thug – Hornswoggle
Alistaire Stuart – Arthur Darvill

It’s your very own printable Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Award for Excellence in X-Cellence! GO, YOU!
Jay knew the Blingee account they had registered to add sparkles to Dazzler covers and photos of Nolan North would come in handy again someday!

 

THE 2015 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE

23_corbeau_blingee

  • Best X-Writer – Dennis Hopeless
  • Best X-Artist – Mike Norton
  • Best X-Colorist – Jordie Bellaire
  • Best Soap Opera – Inferno
  • Irene Adler Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Book or Series – X-Men ’92 ongoing
  • Harvey and Janet Award for Best Walk-On – Falcon Pirate (Wolverines #1)
  • About Damn Time – Iceman comes out (All-New X-Men #40 and X-Men #600)
  • Cyclops Has a Good Day Award – Uncanny X-Men #600
  • Shameless Pandering – X-Men ’92
  • MetaCorbeau for Exemplary Use of Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in a Comic Book – Al Ewing (Mighty Avengers #8)
  • Best Ongoing X-Series – X-Force (w: Si Spurrier; a: various)
  • Rising Star – Wolverine (Laura Kinney)
  • Best Withering Sneers* – Kristafer Anka
  • The Didn’t-Fit-Into-Any-Other-Categories-and-Isn’t-Technically-an-X-Book-but-We-Wanted-to-Give-It-an-Award-Anyway Award – Siege (w: Kieron Gillen, a: Filipe Andrade)
  • Still the Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever – YOU. Again.**

*Kris Anka owns this category so thoroughly that, in the name of fairness, he will be disqualified starting in 2016; at which point the name of this category will officially change to the Kristafer Anka Award for Best Withering Sneer in an X-Book.

**Seriously. We may be a wee bit biased; but honestly, you’re just wildly unfair to the competition.

CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2015)

  • Buried Treasure – Fallen Angels
  • You Tried – Magneto (New Mutants)
  • Jack Kirby Award for Best Intersection of Weird and Epic in a Single Character Design – Walter Simonson (Archangel, X-Factor)
  • Improbably Endearing Moppet – Franklin Richards
  • High Bar Award – Bill Sienkiewicz (New Mutants)
  • Most Heroic Hair – Alan Davis
  • Most Organized Supervillain – Cameron Hodge

SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR AMAZING GUEST X-PERTS:

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

89 – Giant-Size Special #3 (feat. Kyle Yount, Logan Bonner, Elle Collins, and Chris Sims)

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Jay and Miles finally X-Plain some Excalibur; Kyle interviews the X-Perts; Logan gets up-close and personal with the X-Men; Elle casts Excalibur; Chris X-Plains Santa Claus; and you are still the best listeners of any podcast, ever.

X-PLAINED:

  • Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn
  • Christmas at the X-Mansion
  • The best hair in the Marvel Universe
  • The not particularly secret origins of Excalibur
  • Mojoverse anxiety dreams
  • Warwolves
  • Meggan
  • Captain Britain (Brian Braddock)
  • Sexiest Nightcrawler
  • Technet (and several of its members)
  • Gatecrasher
  • Yap
  • Omniversal Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnine
  • The Special Executive
  • Mutant intersectionality
  • Why we chose the X-Men
  • Favorite X-Spinoffs
  • Our podcast-guest wish list
  • The theoretical cast of an Excalibur movie
  • Our ideal X-lineups
  • Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • The Second Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence in X-Cellence
  • Marvel Holiday Special 1991
  • Santa Claus
  • The true meaning of Christmas

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!