Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: mastermind

As Mentioned in Episode 98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Hello, Meggan!
Say what you will about Dai Thomas; the man is thorough.
The Crazy Gang tries so hard.
These dudes really really seem like they must be a reference to something, but we were unable to dig up a clear source.
Also how we found Kyle.
She may be the evil dictator of a crypto-Nazi dystopian Earth, but damned if Sat-Yr-Nin doesn’t have great hair.
It’s kind of charming how petty Brian gets when he’s feeling self-righteous.
Sidney Crumb is ill.
Aw, man.
I’m’a let you finish, X-Men, but this is the best team in the Marvel Universe.
Captain Britain is a superhero comic that is also an extended metaphor that is also a superhero comic.
One more Technet group shot, just because.
Brian Braddock summed up in a single panel.
The Cherubim. Don’t get too attached–they’re super doomed.
Okay, then.
Captain U.K. and her therapy mullet.
Meanwhile at Stately Braddock Manor…
The real superpower is adherence to narrow beauty standards, but flight is also pretty cool.
This sequence really needs to be set to the Benny Hill theme.
Oldest trap in the book.
MORE TECHNET! It’s Technet Christmas!
There’s probably a universe where Captain Britain is in fact a girl gang, and that’s the universe where I want to live.
Fridging summed up in a single panel.
Remember that time the protagonist, a superhero, straight-up smashed a dude’s head in with a boulder? Because that definitely happened in this comic.
Don’t quit your day job, kid.
Hardboiled gangster Meggan is the goddamn best.
No, seriously, there should be a whole comic that’s just about the two of them doing this.
That RICK sound effect, tho.
OH, HI.
And they all lived happily ever after, but not really, because that doesn’t make for a very interesting ongoing series.
NEXT EPISODE: Genosha is for lovers!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

 

98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which we continue our coverage of pre-Excalibur Captain Britain; S.T.R.I.K.E. is D.U.C.K. is W.H.O.; the R.C.X. is one lapse in judgment away from on-the-job cosplay; Meggan levels up; your name will never be as cool as Doctor Crocodile’s; Technet writes their own cold opens; and we announce the upcoming debut of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men!

 

X-PLAINED:

  • A large number of acronyms
  • Irony
  • Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • Mighty World of Marvel #14-16
  • Captain Britain #1-14
  • The aftermath of the Jaspers Warp
  • Inspector Dai Thomas
  • How to work out a superhero’s secret identity
  • The Crazy Gang (more) (again)
  • Slaymaster
  • Captain Britain’s costume
  • Sidney Crumb
  • Gatecrasher’s Technet (more) (again)
  • Earth-794
  • Kaptain Briton
  • Sat-Yr-Nin
  • The R.C.X.
  • Agents Gabriel & Michael
  • The Warpies
  • The Cherubim
  • Meggan (more) (again)
  • Doctor Crocodile
  • Jamie Braddock
  • Betsy Braddock’s short and calamitous tenure as Captain Britain
  • Women in Refrigerators
  • Our thoughts on the X-movies
  • Mutant heredity

NEXT EPISODE: Genosha Is for Lovers

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 97 – The Crooked World

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Listen to the episode here.

The Story So Far.
How awesome a group cosplay would this be? (Answer: so awesome.)
That’s quite a battle cry, Cap.
THIS GUY.
Jim Jaspers X-Plains Jim Jaspers (but leaves out the part where he prosecutes Magneto).
The first death of Captain Britain.
“Have fun with that, dude!”
“Show, don’t tell” in action.
There’s nothing more awkward than coming home to discover that your house has been taken over by an evil supercomputer.
Slaymaster and his amazing mustache.
This heist…
…is the best heist…
…even if it doesn’t end quite as planned.
Captain Albion is by far and away the best-dressed member of the Captain Britain corps.
Welcome to your nightmares for the next week.
Future Traumatic Stress Disorder is no laughing matter.
We have never identified so hard with Captain Britain as we did in this moment.
Seriously, though, can’t you see it as a sitcom?
Oh, that’ll end well.
*shudder*
Again: We cannot overemphasize how scary the Fury is.
It’s Meggan’s first appearance! HI, MEGGAN!
Speaking of first appearances (well, at least in 616), here’s the Crazy Gang!
(Immediately followed by one of the most satisfying ass-kickings in any superhero comic, ever.)
It’s okay. He’s only faking.
WHY DOES NO ONE EVERY GROUP-COSPLAY THE CAPTAIN BRITAIN CORPS? Maybe they do in the U.K. We fervently hope so.
NEXT WEEK: But wait! There’s more!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

97 – The Crooked World

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which we venture out of our wheelhouse; Contest of Champions is ridiculous in any medium; Captain Britain would like you to unhand that elf; the Fury is legitimately terrifying; the Special Executive is the best at heists; Brian Braddock knows exactly what he’s getting into; Merlyn is the multiversal Charles Xavier; and this is really just the tip of the iceberg.

X-PLAINED:

  • Various Contests of Champions
  • ISO-8
  • Marvel UK
  • Marvel Superheroes 377-388
  • Daredevils 1-11
  • Mighty World of Marvel 7-13
  • Captain Britain (Brian Braddock)
  • Jackdaw
  • Earth-238
  • Mad Jim Jaspers
  • The Crazy Gang
  • Algernon the Rat
  • Omniversal Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnyne
  • Life-Enhancing Fluid
  • The Fury
  • Alan Moore juvenilia
  • The (first) death and rebirth of Captain Britain
  • How to make a retcon work
  • Mastermind (but not that Mastermind)
  • Emma Collins
  • Pre-Psylocke Betsy Braddock
  • S.T.R.I.K.E.
  • Vixen
  • Slaymaster
  • The Trial of Saturnyne
  • The Special Executive
  • Mandragon
  • The Captain Britain Corps
  • Captain U.K. (Linda McQuillan)
  • Marvelman vs. Miracleman
  • Future Traumatic Stress Disorder

NEXT EPISODE: But wait! There’s more!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 69 – Weird Science

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/9/2015 in the shop (once Redbubble’s uploader starts working again, anyway), or contact David for the original.
Just another 70’s monster comic. You’d never know it was about an X-Man. (Amazing Adventures #11)
Drama, destruction, and slightly off-model mutants. (Amazing Adventures #11)
Flashback to Hank leaving the X-Men. Who knows if he’ll ever come back? (Amazing Adventures #11)
In which Carl Maddicks is a total jerk, and Hank McCoy is very good at science. (Amazing Adventures #11)
Great use of panel borders by Tom Sutton on this page. (Amazing Adventures #11)
The Beast at the height of his invulnerability and his creepiness. (Amazing Adventures #11)
Spectacularly horrific splash page by Tom Sutton and Mike Ploog (Amazing Adventure #12)
The closet’s just more trouble than it’s worth. (Amazing Adventure #12)
A visually striking panel of Iron Man flirting with the Beast. (Amazing Adventure #12)
Don’t panic; nothing on this page is actually happening. (Amazing Adventure #12)
Mastermind is as long-winded as Unus is unimpressed. (Amazing Adventure #13)
The Carnival is a haven for the strangest of mutants and the saddest of clowns. (Amazing Adventure #13)
Two mysterious and seemingly boring people arrive at the super-science ultra-mega-labs of the Brand Corporation. (Amazing Adventure #13)
This Beast is a little intense. (Amazing Adventure #13)
When Mastermind loses, he loses hard. (Amazing Adventure #13)
Drama in pajamas. (Amazing Adventure #14)
If you’ve never met Quasimodo the Living Computer… You’re probably fine, actually. (Amazing Adventures #14)
We never learn why Hank went to Patsy’s place to collapse, but the more important question is, why does she keep that Target dorm room floor lamp right in front of the door?(Amazing Adventures #15)
Hank really hasn’t been running his whole life, but film noir dialogue seems appropriate for the debut of the black (soon to be blue) Beast. (Amazing Adventures #15)
At the Xavier School, Scott stands silently in shadow, while Charles and Jean won’t let Warren use the switchboard. (Amazing Adventures #15)
Angel takes things in stride. (Amazing Adventures #15)
Nothing can defeat the hugging power of the Beast. (Amazing Adventures #15)
Hank meets Roy Thomas, and the Juggernaut literally falls out of the sky. (Amazing Adventures #16)
Meanwhile, in Canada… (The Incredible Hulk #161)
Hank continues to make odd choices in pretty much everything. (The Incredible Hulk #161)
The Hulk drops in. (The Incredible Hulk #161)
Wheel of mutants (this is all part of Nixon’s plan). (Captain America #174)
This is what happened in the 616 instead of Watergate. (Captain America #175)
Edward G. Robinson shows up at Avenger auditions. (Avengers #137)
Introducing the new smiling, fun-loving Beast. I wonder why his eyelids are so heavy? (Avengers #137)
The soothing effects of Stevie Wonder and Carlos Castaneda. (Avengers #137)
Patsy Walker finally lives her dream. (Avengers #144)
Family drama at the Indian restaurant. (Marvel Team-Up #124)
Hank has a bad day at the disco. (Avengers #178)
NEXT WEEK: Everything is terrible.

Special thanks to our awesome guest hosts, Elle Collins and Graeme McMillan, who not only covered the episode, but also provided this visual companion AND answered a bunch more questions in text (we’ll be posting those later this week). If you love Elle and Graeme as much as we do and want to hear more of ’em, here’s where to find those two on the web:

69 – Weird Science, with Elle Collins and Graeme McMillan

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/9/2015 in the shop (once Redbubble’s uploader starts working again, anyway), or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/9/2015 in the shop (once Redbubble’s uploader starts working again, anyway), or contact David for the original.

In which Elle and Graeme save the day; Hank McCoy joins the real world (sort of) (briefly); Carl Maddicks may or may not be undead; academic discourse in the Marvel Universe leaves a few things to be desired; Steve Englehart is an unsung hero of X-Men; Mastermind lives up to his name; Warren Worthington has a good attitude about mutation; and Avengers Beast is the best Beast; and Graeme has strong feelings about Moira MacTaggert.

X-PLAINED:

  • The complex romantic life of Patsy Walker
  • The increasingly terrible life choices of Hank McCoy
  • Amazing Adventures #11-17
  • Incredible Hulk #161
  • Captain America #173-175
  • Avengers #137, 144, & 178
  • Marvel Team-Up #124
  • Life after the X-Men
  • The Brand Corporation
  • Carl Maddicks (again)
  • Vampire Secret Agent Linda Donaldson
  • The dubious chemical cause of mutation
  • Beast as proto-Wolverine
  • Steve Englehart
  • The high price of passing
  • Several unusually realistic latex masks
  • Norman Mailer’s Handbook for Unliberated Women
  • Sad clowns
  • Buzz Baxter
  • Hellcat (Patsy Walker)
  • Someone who might be Carole King, Indira Gandhi, or your sister (but isn’t)
  • Questionable corporate practices
  • Quasimodo (but not that one)
  • Semantics of fur color
  • The Griffin
  • The Secret Empire
  • Actual supervillain Richard Nixon
  • Mimic (Cal Rankin)
  • Avengers Auditions
  • Best Beast stories
  • Scotland

Special thanks to guest hosts Elle Collins & Graeme McMillan!

NEXT WEEK: Everything is terrible.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 25 – The Best at What He Does

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne, after Katsushika Hokusai. Prints available until 10/12; or contact David to purchase the original.
Because you demanded it: Probably a Summers Brother t-shirts (light or dark backgrounds) and other gear are now a thing that exist, and which you can purchase using moneydollars!
Welcome to the Wolverine comic that will forever set the bar for Wolverine comics.
Shingen: Totally a dick. (Wolverine #1)
Seriously. This asshole. (Wolverine #1)
Things that never get old: Frank Miller drawing Wolverine beating up on Ninja. (Wolverine #2)
Other things that never get old: Our favorite lady, Yukio! (Wolverine #2)
Okay, look, like 2/3 of this gallery is just going to be us drooling over these amazing Frank Miller fight scenes. Deal with it. (Wolverine #2)
Mariko is less impressed with Miller’s stylish portrayal of gruesome violence. (Wolverine #2)
MORE NINJA! (Wolverine #3)
Yukio, ladies and gentlemen. (Wolverine #3)
Taking a break from drooling over stylish fight scenes to drool over a stylish chase scene. (Wolverine #3)
If you’re not hearing the narration in Steve Blum’s voice, you’re doing Wolverine wrong. (Wolverine #4)
LOOK AT THAT NARRATIVE SYMMETRY. (Wolverine #4)
We were going to choose one or two panels from this fight scene, but, nope, it’s perfect. Deal. (Wolverine #4)
HOLY BALLS FRANK MILLER (Wolverine #4)
The X-Men show up to congratulate Wolverine on the completion of his first solo miniseries. (Uncanny X-Men #172)
Look at that adorable Ninja meet-cute! Also: Pretty sure Smith is taking a cue from Miller with the sudden influx of vertical panels and silhouetted buildings. (Uncanny X-Men #172)
Yeah, look, remember how we said this was gonna all be Miller fight scenes? There will also be a lot of Storm and Yukio, because, Storm and Yukio. (Uncanny X-Men #172)
In which Kitty Pryde realizes that Wolverine has been moonlighting in a significantly less code-sensitive series. (Uncanny X-Men #172)
There is literally nothing that you can tell us that will convince us that these two ladies are not Totally Doin’ It. (Uncanny X-Men #172)
Meanwhile, Rogue and Wolverine bond over casual violence. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
Seriously. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
Totally Doin’ It. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
They should really just hand out little warning pamphlets about Mastermind. What a dick. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
Remember when Madelyne Pryor was AWESOME? Sigh. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
Ooh, burn. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
THAT SINGLE TEAR. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
John Byrne’s original concept for what Wolverine would look like under the mask. He ended up using this design for Sabretooth instead.
Next Week: The New Mutants meet Team America!

Further Reading:

25 – The Best at What He Does

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Art by David Wynne, after Katsushika Hokusai.
Art by David Wynne, after Katsushika Hokusai.

In which Wolverine gets his first miniseries, Yukio is still (and forever) the best, we categorically reject the classification “manic pixie dreamgirl,” everything is noir as hell, Wolverine gets an Iron Giant moment, Storm is too cool for your dress code, and we finally made “Probably a Summers Brother” t-shirts.

X-Plained:

  • X-23
  • The 1982 Wolverine miniseries
  • Uncanny X-Men #172-173
  • Rachel’s Wolverine feelings
  • An auspicious road trip
  • Early Frank Miller
  • A really epic team-up
  • Plug’n’play storytelling
  • How to tell a good Wolverine story
  • Mariko Yashida
  • Honor
  • Shingen Yashida
  • Yukio
  • The Inverse Law of Ninjas
  • The Forty-Seven Ronin
  • Silver Samurai
  • Viper
  • A Ninja meet-cute
  • The Cyclops / Wolverine double standard
  • The secret origins of Wolverine’s mask and hair

Next Week: The New Mutants meet Team America!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 24 – Ororo, Queen of the Galaxy

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Listen to the episode here!

ORORO, QUEEN OF THE GALAXY, by David Wynne. (Prints available here until October 5.)
Lockheed vs. Pete Wisdom. (Excalibur #97)
Ironically, the thing she’s mad about might be the one time he actually isn’t, but the point stands in general. (X-Men #168)
Lockheed lurks. (X-Men #168)
This isn’t really relevant to the episode–we’re just hoping someone will use it as the basis for a Kitty Pryde magical-girl transformation sequence. (X-Men #168)
Scott and Lee: STILL AWESOME. (X-Men #168)
Before that one Hawkeye thing, there was this. (X-Men #168)
AWESOME TEAM-UP OF AWESOME. (X-Men #168)
But I think we all know the REAL point of X-Men #168. (We’re reviving this for this week’s art challenge – send your Kitty Pryde costume redesigns to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com!)
Very Nude Nightcrawler. (X-Men #169)
Dragon-sitting is basically the X-Men girlfriend test. (X-Men #169)
Remember that time X-Men straight-up did Barbarella? (Also the time Angel got pinned up by his wings in the Morlock tunnels. No, not that time. The other time.) (X-Men #169)
This cover is slashy in every sense of the word. (X-Men #170)
Well, then. (X-Men #170)
Remember that time Storm straight-up stabbed someone through the heart? BECAUSE THAT DEFINITELY HAPPENED. (X-Men #170)
And then Walt Simonson drew Storm, and we had Feelings. (X-Men #171)
Rogue also has feelings, but they’re less about the transcendent perfection of Simonson’s art than about her out-of-control powers. Sorry, Rogue. (X-Men #171)
Well, that escalated quickly. (X-Men #171)
This might be the most Rogue moment ever. (X-Men #171)
Remember that time Professor X was actually pretty fucking awesome? (X-Men #171)
For full effect, you have to imagine Wolverine’s lines in Steven Blum’s voice. I mean, you should really be doing that anyway. (X-Men #172)
YUKIO. Much, much more about her next week, but she’s the best. (X-Men #172)
For real, there is literally nothing you can say that will convince Rachel that these two are not TOTALLY DOING IT. (X-Men #173)
They really can’t kick her off the team after that. (X-Men #173)
BRB HAVING FEELINGS. (X-Men #173)
Oh. THAT asshole. (X-Men #173)
Meanwhile in Alaska, the most awkward meet-cute ever. (X-Men #168)
Here’s the thing about Scott and Madelyne: they’re actually kind of awesome together. Doomed, but awesome. (X-Men #170)
As a character who’s spent most of his life in a Claremont-written world, Scott is unfamiliar with the concept of coincidence. (X-Men #171)
Then, again, having spent years reading stories set in a Claremont-written world, we find it difficult to believe that this was actually just supposed to have been a coincidence. (X-Men #172)
Lilandra agrees. (X-Men #173)
HEPZIBAH, NEVER CHANGE. (X-Men #174)
This is funny because both of these relationships are super doomed. (X-Men #174)
A brief interlude of adorability from these goofy kids. (X-Men #174)
REMEMBER THAT PRIEST? Yeah. Totally Mastermind. God damnit, Mastermind. (X-Men #174)
Look, it’s a reasonable question under the circumstances. (X-Men #174)
Oh. (X-Men #174)
WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. (X-Men #175)
Okay. This looks bad. (X-Men #175)
Really bad. (X-Men #175)
Really, really bad. (X-Men #175)
Cyclops-gritting-his-teeth-and-being-brilliant-in-the-face-of-impossible-odds is the best Cyclops. (X-Men #175)
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. (X-Men #175)
Not elegant, but efficient. (X-Men #175)
This is a really good speech, as such things go, but it’s also really funny that he went to the graveyard in his tux. (X-Men #175)
And then they lived happily ever… oh. (X-Men #175)
Next week: Wolverine demonstrates the Inverse Ninja Law.

24 – Ororo, Queen of the Galaxy

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Stormerella print
Art by David Wynne.

In which Professor X is (canonically!) a jerk, Miles has Sidrian Hunter feelings, Kitty Pryde is Clarissa Darling with a dragon, we introduce a drinking game, the X-Men do Barbarella, Rachel has a ‘shipper moment, Rogue joins the team, Storm gets a haircut, Mastermind is still the worst, and Madelyne Pryor is underrated.

X-Plained:

  • Lockheed
  • Uncanny X-Men #168-175
  • Reset issues
  • A one-sided rivalry
  • The lowest-drama X-romance
  • The Cream of Wheat box as a metaphor for infinity
  • Kitty’s Kostume Korner
  • Rachel’s questionably-canon ships
  • The Morlocks
  • Class privilege and the mutant metaphor
  • Callisto
  • Caliban
  • Sunder
  • Plague
  • Masque
  • A dubbing error
  • Gender dimorphism in superhero media
  • Storm’s first major character arc
  • Our single favorite superhero artist
  • Rogue
  • Rogue’s accent
  • A Charles Xavier we can believe in
  • Yukio
  • Punk Storm
  • Madelyne Pryor
  • Closure
  • Cyclops vs. formalwear

Art Challenge: Send us your Kitty Pryde costume redesigns–any era, any codename–to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com

Next Week: Claremont and Miller’s Wolverine!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!