Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: nightcrawler

As Mentioned in Episode 34 – Mordenkainen’s Marvelous Mutants

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints available here through Sunday, December 14!
Remember when missing twin towers always signified a horrible post-apocalyptic future? (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Rachel Summers, in her Hound uniform. (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Kids, if a necklace you find in a fish talks to you, DON’T LISTEN. (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Oh. You, again. (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Moments when the Hellfire Club and the X-Men just really want to not talk about this and go back to whatever they were doing are pretty much the best X-Men/Hellfire Club moments. (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Lookit all those temporal references! (Uncanny X-Men #189)
Imagining Kid Miles diving into X-Men with this issue: never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #190)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #190)
But.. isn’t that basically what Vision normally wears? (Uncanny X-Men #190)
Callisto: Pure awesome in any universe. (Uncanny X-Men #190)
What. (Uncanny X-Men #190)
CAPTAIN AMERICA WE LOVE YOU (Uncanny X-Men #190)
This fucking recap page. (Uncanny X-Men #191)
Warlock-o-Vision! (Uncanny X-Men #191)
Remember that time Spider-Man got actually literally crucified in a CCA-approved comic? Because that definitely happened. (Uncanny X-Men #191)
Warlock is not only the best friendly space teenager, but also the best jetpack. (Uncanny X-Men #191)
Oh. That guy. (Uncanny X-Men #191)
LOOK AT THIS ANGRY SPACE ROBOT AND HIS AMAZING TECHNOORGANIC BEARD (Uncanny X-Men #192)
In which the X-Men absolutely fail at hide-and-seek in just about every possible way. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
Not only is Illyana a badass demon sorceress and teleporter, but her taste in movies is impeccable. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
HERE HAVE SOME MORE TECHNOORGANIC SPACE BEARD (Uncanny X-Men #192)
Rogue goes Technarch, is adorable. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
SPAAAAAAAAACE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEARD (Uncanny X-Men #192)
He’s such a parent. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
Don’t worry. Later, the Morlocks find him, fix him up, and dress him in elaborate bondage gear. (Uncanny X-Men #192)
MERRY CHRISTMAS, X-MEN! (Uncanny X-Men #192)
Next week: Welcome to the Heartbreak Hotel.

Links and Further Reading:

  • In Episode 34, we answered a question from a listener looking for textual evidence that Nightcrawler isn’t homophobic (we pointed them to Amazing X-Men #13). Rachel also discussed that question from a different angle–and at considerably more length–on the blog.
  • Diana: Warrior Princess is both an incredibly fun game setting and a brilliant piece of cultural satire.
  • We are big fans of both the Gamers movies and the humans responsible for them.
  • Rachel and Elle talk a lot of shit about Hank Pym in Episode 4 of Into It.

34 – Mordenkainen’s Marvelous Mutants

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Warlock The Barbarian
Art by David Wynne. Prints available here through Sunday, December 14!

In which we venture forth into an age undreamed of, there are so many reasons to have Northstar on your team, Selene is the worst guest, Rachel X-Plains Conan, Cyttorak is the Mordenkainen of the Marvel Universe, Miles loves Doctor Strange, we have some fairly serious Captain America feelings, the X-Men completely fail at hide-and-seek, and we make more D&D references in one episode than in the previous 34 combined.

X-Plained

  • Northstar
  • Beard privilege
  • X-Men 189-192
  • Anachronistic timeline markers
  • Hounds
  • The Culture Shock Class
  • An Age Undreamed of
  • Conan disambiguation
  • Red Sonja vs. Red Sonya
  • Kulan Gath
  • Marvel Team-Up #79
  • Barbarian Avengers
  • Why we love Captain America
  • Several haircuts
  • WiFi sorcery
  • A really good inspirational speech
  • The inevitable cephalopod revolution
  • Why Hank Pym is the absolute worst
  • Claudication
  • Hide-and-seek
  • How Rachel Summers actually traveled back in time
  • Magus
  • Warlock, Adam Warlock, and their respective Magi
  • Politics, religion, and Nightcrawler

Edited to Add: In this episode, we answered a question from a listener looking for textual evidence that Nightcrawler isn’t homophobic (we pointed them to Amazing X-Men #13). We also discussed that question from a different angle–and at considerably more length–on the blog.

Next Week: Dazzler: The Movie!

You can find a visual companion to the episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 31 – Chekhov’s Raygun

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Listen to the episode here!

You can get prints of David Wynne’s “Back to the Future Past” art here, or contact David for the original!
This guy.
We searched for the source for this for like an hour, with no luck. Wherever it comes from, we would very much like to send it back. (Update: It’s from X-Factor #69, with art by Whilce Portacio. Thank you, Breadcrumb!)
Rogue, no! He’s not worth it! He’s not even a Super Doctor Astronaut! (Uncanny X-Men #182)
Rogue’s schtick was–very briefly–throwing silver dollars. It did not last. (Uncanny X-Men #182)
Ooh, moral awakening! (Uncanny X-Men #182)
Aw, Kitty. Also, ace tandem use of speech and thought balloons. (Uncanny X-Men #183)
Remember when artists used to draw Wolverine at the proper height? (Uncanny X-Men #183)
SUNDAY PUNCH. Juggernaut, you delightful scamp. (Uncanny X-Men #183)
Wolverine is full of valuable life lessons, a remarkable number of which involve massive real-estate damage. (Uncanny X-Men #183)
Forge’s sweet, sweet pad. (Uncanny X-Men #184)
LOOK AT THIS DELIGHTFUL GENTLEMAN AND HIS DELIGHTFUL SHORTS (Uncanny X-Men #184)
Fun fact: Wolverine and the X-Men Forge is an unsettlingly accurate Miles doppelgänger.
He’s a nice dude. Too bad he’s SUPER DOOMED. (Uncanny X-Men #184)
Pro tip: the better Storm’s haircut, the better the general state of the timeline. (Uncanny X-Men #184)
Rachel Summers: THE SADDEST TIME TRAVELER. (Uncanny X-Men #185)
“What would Dracula do?” (Uncanny X-Men #185)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #185)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (Uncanny X-Men #185)
And now, Barry Windsor Smith! (Uncanny X-Men #186)
God, that opening. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
Storm does not need superpowers to be more badass than you. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
Straight talk. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
In a lot of ways, Storm’s arc over the last twenty or so issues has equipped her with the tools to get through this. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
Straight talk, part two. Love that “Lifedeath” is veyr much a love story that very much doesn’t resolve as such. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
Let’s take a moment to consider the logistics of this kick, shake our heads, and weep quietly. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
SHADOW PTEROSAURS (Uncanny X-Men #187)
Yukio callback! (Uncanny X-Men #187)
The best part is that he dressed up as a pilot, like that will somehow make this less conspicuous. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
Colossus: Terrible boyfriend, pretty great brother. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
As it happens, Magneto’s asteroid got knocked out of orbit by THE BEST SPACE-ROBOT TEENAGER EVER, but we’ll get to that next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
Seriously. Saddest time traveler. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
Next episode: Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.

31 – Chekhov’s Raygun

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Art by David Wynne
Art by David Wynne

In which there is a whole, whole lot going on; we continue to have no use for Michael Rossi; Wolverine should be an advice columnist; Forge makes bold fashion choices; the health of a timeline is directly tied to the awesomeness of Storm’s hair; and the X-Men get their first dark-future refugee.

X-Plained:

  • Dire Wraiths
  • ROM
  • Tailoring
  • Uncanny X-Men #182-188
  • Just how much story can be shoehorned into seven issues
  • A dubious Silent Hill metaphor
  • The people in Rogue’s head
  • Inexorable momentum
  • Several profoundly uncomfortable conversations
  • Parallel narrative in comics
  • Being friends with Wolverine
  • Casual enmity
  • Forge
  • Miles’s X-doppelganger
  • Tiny shorts
  • Chekhov’s Raygun
  • Rachel Summers (again)
  • Timeline disambiguation
  • Rachel disambiguation
  • “Lifedeath: A Love Story”
  • Feelings
  • Storm, powers, and identity
  • X-Men Mad-Libs
  • Hound marks
  • X-Men: The End

Next Week: THE DEMON BEAR SAGA!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – as well as links to recommended reading and the winners of the stealth / plainclothes cosplay contest – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Rachel and Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 13

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Week of November 12, 2014

In which we are pleasantly surprised by Logan Legacy.

Reviewed:

  • Axis #5 (0:28)
  • *Logan Legacy #4 (2:53)
  • Nightcrawler #8 (5:00)
  • Captain Marvel #9 (6:27)

*Pick of the week (8:10)

Video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 29 – Mutant in a Box

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Listen to the podcast here!

We’re having a stealth / plainclothes cosplay contest, with guest X-Pert judge Kris Anka, and prizes from TVStoreOnline! Submissions are open ’til November 7. JOIN US.
Yep, that’s our Fantomex.
This ridiculous motherfucker who is now THREE PEOPLE. What the hell, Fantomex?
This isn’t Cyclops’s worst vacation. Hell, it’s not even his worst honeymoon. (X-Men #176)
Wolverine and Mariko: dealing with relationship issues like grown-ups. We choose to believe that wearing a mask that looks like your hair is a prerogative of adulthood. (X-Men #176)
You’d REALLY THINK Scott would know what an octopus looks like by now, but I guess he was blindfolded for a lot of his time in Octopusheim. (X-Men #176)
Scott! The sea’s a lovely lady when you play in her. But if you play with her, she’s a BITCH! Play in the sea, yes, but never play with her. You’re lucky to be here! You’re lucky to be ALIVE! (X-Men #176, with sincere apologies to the late, great Spalding Gray. Seriously, go watch Swimming to Cambodia. And Monster in a Box. And Gray’s Anatomy. Now.)
Yeah, good luck with that, Sparky. (X-Men #176)
Val Cooper: Definitely the sister of Special Agent Dale Cooper.
The early ’80s: A more innocent time, when all a hero needed was coke and epic shoulder pads, and you could kill Wolverine by slitting his throat. (X-Men #177)
Why is Alex dressed like an elf? (X-Men #177)
As diversions go, that’s a pretty impressively orchestrated one. Go, Brotherhood! (X-Men #177)
CYCLOPS WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN WRONG WITN YOU (X-Men #178)
“Get the asprin, Rogue. I feel a crossover event coming on.” (X-Men #178)
Awyeah. (X-Men #178)
Why is Kitty wearing an unbranded Fantastic 4 costume? Who the hell knows? Do we even need a reason, at this point? (X-Men #178)
99% sure Cyndi Lauper wrote a song about this. (X-Men #179)
This is innocuous in context, until you realize he’s sniffing a dead teenager in a morgue. (X-Men #179)
Aw, Leech. (X-Men #179)
LOOK AT THIS FUCKING WIZARD LOOK AT HIS HAT LOOK AT HOW HE CLEARLY BELONGS ON THE SET OF FLASH GORDON (X-Men #179)
Professor Xavier engages in a rare moment of being absolutely delightful. (X-Men #178)
I like to imagine that Kitty and Doug’s side adventures are the subject of a mid-’80s feature film starring Jenny Lewis. (X-Men #180)
Sky closure is the best closure. (X-Men #180)
Literally the only worthwhile panel in all twelve issues of Secret Wars. (Secret Wars #1)
“I’ll see she’s raised as if she were my own. HOPE SHE LIKES BEING DROWNED IN PUDDLES.” (X-Men #181)
Oh. That guy. Again. (X-Men #181)
This Erica Henderson drawing of Warlock and Cypher doing Troy and Abed in the Morning may be the single nerdiest thing Rachel owns, and that’s saying something.
Next week: These delightful scamps.

29 – Mutant in a Box

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In which Cyclops is the worst at vacations, Mystique is your favorite MurderMom™, Havok is eternally ABD, Kitty Pryde does science, Callisto doesn’t give a damn about her bad reputation, Xavier has a Troy Barnes moment, Miles may be the only person with fond memories of Secret Wars, and Rachel finally gets to make Spalding Gray references.

X-Plained:

  • Fantomex
  • Uncanny X-Men #176-181
  • Reset issues
  • Scott Summers’s second-worst honeymoon
  • Cephalopod disambiguation
  • Project Wideawake (more) (again)
  • Valerie Cooper
  • Foreshadowing
  • Public displays of affection
  • Leech
  • How X-Men age
  • A sewer wizard
  • Doug Ramsey
  • Secret Wars
  • Japan
  • Mystique’s kids
  • Douglock
  • Mystique’s powers
  • The other X-Men Forever

Next Week: The New Mutants gets weird!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Send us your submissions to the Stealth / Plainclothes Cosplay Contest until the end of the day on Friday, November 7!

Rachel and Miles Review the X-men, Episode 10

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Weeks of October 8 and October 15, 2014

 

In which we catch up after New York Comic Con, and Wolverine finally dies. (Also, Rachel reorganized her office. YAY!)

Reviewed:

  • Axis #1
  • Axis #2
  • Magneto #11
  • Death of Wolverine #4
  • Logan Legacy #1
  • Nightcrawler #7
  • Wolverine and the X-Men #10
  • Storm #4
  • X-Force #10*
  • Uncanny X-Men #27**

*Pick of the week of October 8

**Pick of the week of October 15

Video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 25 – The Best at What He Does

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne, after Katsushika Hokusai. Prints available until 10/12; or contact David to purchase the original.
Because you demanded it: Probably a Summers Brother t-shirts (light or dark backgrounds) and other gear are now a thing that exist, and which you can purchase using moneydollars!
Welcome to the Wolverine comic that will forever set the bar for Wolverine comics.
Shingen: Totally a dick. (Wolverine #1)
Seriously. This asshole. (Wolverine #1)
Things that never get old: Frank Miller drawing Wolverine beating up on Ninja. (Wolverine #2)
Other things that never get old: Our favorite lady, Yukio! (Wolverine #2)
Okay, look, like 2/3 of this gallery is just going to be us drooling over these amazing Frank Miller fight scenes. Deal with it. (Wolverine #2)
Mariko is less impressed with Miller’s stylish portrayal of gruesome violence. (Wolverine #2)
MORE NINJA! (Wolverine #3)
Yukio, ladies and gentlemen. (Wolverine #3)
Taking a break from drooling over stylish fight scenes to drool over a stylish chase scene. (Wolverine #3)
If you’re not hearing the narration in Steve Blum’s voice, you’re doing Wolverine wrong. (Wolverine #4)
LOOK AT THAT NARRATIVE SYMMETRY. (Wolverine #4)
We were going to choose one or two panels from this fight scene, but, nope, it’s perfect. Deal. (Wolverine #4)
HOLY BALLS FRANK MILLER (Wolverine #4)
The X-Men show up to congratulate Wolverine on the completion of his first solo miniseries. (Uncanny X-Men #172)
Look at that adorable Ninja meet-cute! Also: Pretty sure Smith is taking a cue from Miller with the sudden influx of vertical panels and silhouetted buildings. (Uncanny X-Men #172)
Yeah, look, remember how we said this was gonna all be Miller fight scenes? There will also be a lot of Storm and Yukio, because, Storm and Yukio. (Uncanny X-Men #172)
In which Kitty Pryde realizes that Wolverine has been moonlighting in a significantly less code-sensitive series. (Uncanny X-Men #172)
There is literally nothing that you can tell us that will convince us that these two ladies are not Totally Doin’ It. (Uncanny X-Men #172)
Meanwhile, Rogue and Wolverine bond over casual violence. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
Seriously. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
Totally Doin’ It. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
They should really just hand out little warning pamphlets about Mastermind. What a dick. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
Remember when Madelyne Pryor was AWESOME? Sigh. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
Ooh, burn. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
THAT SINGLE TEAR. (Uncanny X-Men #173)
John Byrne’s original concept for what Wolverine would look like under the mask. He ended up using this design for Sabretooth instead.
Next Week: The New Mutants meet Team America!

Further Reading:

25 – The Best at What He Does

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Art by David Wynne, after Katsushika Hokusai.
Art by David Wynne, after Katsushika Hokusai.

In which Wolverine gets his first miniseries, Yukio is still (and forever) the best, we categorically reject the classification “manic pixie dreamgirl,” everything is noir as hell, Wolverine gets an Iron Giant moment, Storm is too cool for your dress code, and we finally made “Probably a Summers Brother” t-shirts.

X-Plained:

  • X-23
  • The 1982 Wolverine miniseries
  • Uncanny X-Men #172-173
  • Rachel’s Wolverine feelings
  • An auspicious road trip
  • Early Frank Miller
  • A really epic team-up
  • Plug’n’play storytelling
  • How to tell a good Wolverine story
  • Mariko Yashida
  • Honor
  • Shingen Yashida
  • Yukio
  • The Inverse Law of Ninjas
  • The Forty-Seven Ronin
  • Silver Samurai
  • Viper
  • A Ninja meet-cute
  • The Cyclops / Wolverine double standard
  • The secret origins of Wolverine’s mask and hair

Next Week: The New Mutants meet Team America!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!