As Mentioned – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 488 – There Goes the Moon (Mutant X May, Part 3)

May 31, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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Color-coded Horsemen of Apocalypse! (Mutant X #19)

What’s the magic word? (Mutant X #19)

Someone let that flying aerobics instructor in! The rain is going to wreck her hair! (Mutant X #20)

That A on his belt stands for Ally! (Mutant X #20)

Note that Charles Xavier’s Evil Mullet is never seen outside of these two panels. (Mutant X #21)

Not a bad riff on the Phoenix costume, honestly. (Mutant X #21)

And then Professor X turned into Doctor Fate. (Mutant X #22)

“That’s right, my friends! We must strike Galactus with every color of the traffic light!” (Mutant X #22)

You ever have a dream where someone is mean to you and then you’re still mad at them when you see them in real life? (Mutant X #23)

Behold! Bargain-basement X-Man, with bonus moppets! (Mutant X #23)

Just a hell of a cover. (Mutant X #24)

Why would you put a portal to the Negative Zone in the goddamn FLOOR?! At least put up a guard rail or something! I’m calling OSHA! (Mutant X #24)

Spoiler: they all just go to a bar. (Mutant X #25)

Flowers for Beast-gernon. (Yes, yes, we know Algernon is the mouse.) (Mutant X #25)

ah jeez (Mutant X #25)

It’s cool, Bloodstorm. We’ve all been there. (Mutant X #26)

The Marauders! (Mutant X #26)

Meet Dagger. And also sorta Cloak. (Mutant X #27)

Awwwwww (Mutant X #27)

Okay, that kid is way too chill. (Mutant X #28)

That’s way better than Evil Xavier’s mullet! (Mutant X #29)

Why, it’s the brand new Sabre-Roaster 3000, as seen on TV! (Mutant X #29)

Plus Iron Giant Man, but he’s too big for this panel! (Mutant X #30)

(This caption intentionally left blank) (Mutant X #31)

After this, they blow up the moon! (Mutant X #31)

The Beyonder x-plains Mutant X! And also eats Captain America. (Mutant X Annual 2001)

It’s really hard to pick a favorite! (Mutant X Annual 2001)

Benjamin E. Yonder, you put the population of New York City down right now! (Mutant X Annual 2001)

Well, I would have said “WHAT?!” (Mutant X #32)

Dracula dies not with a bang, but with a PFFFT. (Mutant X #32)

*sniffle* (Mutant X #32)

Goodbye, Earth-1298. It’s been a hell of a ride. (Mutant X #32)

NEXT TIME: Black ops in black leather!

As Mentioned in Episode 487 – The Only Well-Adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (Mutant X May, Part 2)

May 18, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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…the 2025 story. (Mutant X #9)

The Morlocks! (Mutant X #9)

A damned fine Magneto indeed. (Mutant X #9)

Polaris from X-Factor meets Terra from Final Fantasy VI. (Mutant X #10)

Nightcrawler-1298 can buckle our swashes anytime. (Mutant X #10)

The rest of the X-Men! (Mutant X #10)

The weather is wild today. (Mutant X #11)

I think this might be a big deal, you guys. (Mutant X #12)

Drama! (Mutant X #12)

The Goblin Queen falls. (Mutant X #12)

The secondary theme of Mutant X is the relationship between Ororo Munroe and rodents. (Mutant X #13)

Someone missed the memo about Diaphanous Romper Fridays. (Mutant X #13)

Ninja versus vampire: a tale as old as time. (Mutant X #13)

The most well-adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (and friends)! (Mutant X #14)

Bros! (Mutant X #14)

Meet Katherine Pryde, Black Queen of the Hellfire Club; Sebastian Shaw in an iron lung; palette-swapped Captain America; and Sunfire! (Mutant X #15)

De T’ieves Guild. (Mutant X #16)

A thief and a t’ief. (Mutant X Annual 2000)

“Dear Diary, only you understand me.” (Mutant X Annual 2000)

The origin of Gampire/Vambit. (Mutant X Annual 2000)

That first panel is just adorable. (Mutant X Annual 2000)

What a great guy, that Cap! Hope he doesn’t blow up the moon or anything later. (Mutant X #17)

And again: bros! (Mutant X #17)

Seems fine. (Mutant X #18)

Hey, that’s our podcast’s schtick! No swiping! (Mutant X #18)

NEXT TIME: The end of Mutant X May!

As Mentioned in Episode 486 – Welcome to Earth-1298 (Mutant X May, Part 1)

May 12, 2025 Jay 3 comments

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Welcome to Earth-1298! Hope you survive the–wait, did you survive the experience? I’m not sure the cliche applies if you’re already dead. (Mutant X #1)

Bannerman Castle, headquarters of The Six. (Mutant X #1)

Madelyne goes Goblin Queen. (Mutant X #1)

This issue sets Scotty up to be Creepily Prescient, which he’s really not. (Mutant X #1)

Meet the Six. (Mutant X #2)

Fun times with the Fantastic Four. (Mutant X #2)

Well, THAT can’t be good. (Mutant X #2)

And then: NUDE CANADIANS! (Mutant X #3)

Gothic horror heroine Maddy. (Mutant X #4)

The Fallen is fucking terrible. (Mutant X #5)

Creatures of the night! (Mutant X #7)

Cerebro! (Mutant X #8)

Stingray and Yellowjacket. (Mutant X Annual 1999)

Dr. Strange, Man-Thing. (Mutant X Annual 1999)

As Mentioned in Episode 485 – The House of Correction

April 30, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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Being the boss means you get the yellow pouches! (Generation X #63)

Teenagers! (Generation X #63)

The new and… improved… Emma Frost. (Generation X #63)

DEAR GOD THOSE PANTS (Generation X #63)

Remember, this issue came out before we knew what happened to Synch… (Generation X #63)

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Generation X #64)

Fashion? (Generation X #64)

Fashion! (Generation X #64)

Jubilee, you are the worstbest. (Generation X #64)

The most dangerous game! (Generation X #64)

Super-speed, part one! (Generation X #65)

Super-speed, part two! (Generation X #65)

I see no flaws with this plan. (Generation X #65)

We have our complaints about this era, but… man, it can just be so charming! (Generation X #65)

I have so many questions, and yet I do not want them answered. (Generation X #66)

Miles just saw Eraserhead at a David Lynch retrospective, and you know that mix of revulsion and pity you feel toward the baby in that movie? …yeah. (Generation X #66)

Banshee, you rule and we’re sorry everyone always forgets you exist. (Generation X #66)

An only slightly less abrupt ending than that of X-Factor #149. (Generation X #66)

NEXT TIME: Yes, really.

As Mentioned in Episode 484 – Hell Tuba

April 20, 2025 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

A miniseries based on a miniseries! (X-Men: Magik #1)

What are we looking at? Not sure. Is it rad? Definitely. (X-Men: Magik #1)

To paraphrase: it doesn’t have to be practical if it’s AWESOME. (X-Men: Magik #1)

Not the most efficient way to blow up a bunch of Teslas, but certainly stylish. (X-Men: Magik #1)

Only one of them got the note about the dress code. But which? (X-Men: Magik #1)

The Battle for Hell’s Deep. (X-Men: Magik #1)

So, like, what if the sky broke and then cut off your goddamned head, is my question (X-Men: Magik #2)

Everyone’s outfits are very long. (X-Men: Magik #2)

Did we mention that this series is in a hell dimension? (X-Men: Magik #2)

(Pushes up Norse glasses:) Technically, Surtur’s sword Twilight would only be on fire if he’d entered Asgard upon the day of Ragnarök, and… (X-Men: Magik #2)

And then sometimes the art is suddenly beautiful. (X-Men: Magik #2)

(wailing guitar solo) (X-Men: Magik #2)

I now pronounce you Hell-Lord and Sorceress! (X-Men: Magik #3)

Hey, tell us more about Lord Militant Phemous and his Huscarls! (X-Men: Magik #3)

Meanwhile, in the Hell-actic Senate… (X-Men: Magik #3)

You get out of the sky and finish your evil-chrome-skeleton-god dinner this instant, young man! (X-Men: Magik #3)

All hail the Hell Tuba! (X-Men: Magik #4)

Welp, there you have it. (X-Men: Magik #4)

Hey, it’s Death’s Head II! Hi, Death’s Head II! (X-Men: Magik #4)

I’m pretty sure Judas Priest has a song about this. (X-Men: Magik #4)

We need to start a metal band just so we can use this as an album cover. (X-Men: Magik #4)

The last day of summer camp is always bittersweet. (X-Men: Magik #4)

NEXT TIME: Generation X versus that thing!

As Mentioned in Episode 483 – Piotr Lovely Locks

April 13, 2025 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

I appreciate that Shadowcat’s new costume involves her perpetually flipping the (very sharp) bird. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

I mean, it could be worse – you could be Colossus. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

[Epic metal begins] (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

Is Nightcrawler trying to distract from his awful new color scheme by diving at the reader crotch-first? (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

A different look than usual, but I’m not mad at it. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

SEEMS FINE. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

Except that one time! And kind of that other time! (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

Chekhov’s removable skeleton. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

I mean, we’re not not going to show the shattered-moon-and-mountain-of-skulls every time it comes up. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

Magik x-plains the miniseries. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

After this, Warren will be required to take a Defensive Swooping class. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

Oof – right in the outfit! (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

(bonk) (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

A warm welcome back to Polaris’s chest-skull! (X-Men: Black Sun #3)

“Listen, it’s not my fault I’ve been a terrible boyfriend to every woman I’ve dated! And it definitely doesn’t imply anything!” (X-Men: Black Sun #3)

“Hey! That’s my favorite nipple you almost cut off!” (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

Dude needs to hydrate. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

We’d normally say not to mess with perfection, but that’s not a bad evolution of the Phoenix costume! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

Now that’s a demon. Well, Ru’tai. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

The origin of Magik’s bare midriff! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

You’re missing a bloodstone and a Banshee! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

Paging Doctor Belmont… (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

Way better than throwing a Poké Ball. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

Hey, now there are SIX bloodstones! At least Belasco’s throne is rad. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

From the Arcane Tome of Evil Fashion. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

BOOM! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

What if Magik was She-Ra? (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

NEXT TIME: Magik gets metal.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

On Yom Kippur, you fight your own skeleton.

As Mentioned in Episode 482 – The Mutant Gene for Murder

April 13, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

“Mr. Wisdom would have wanted me to show this much chest.” (X-Force #106)

A fitting tribute from Romany Wisdom (Mark II). (X-Force #106)

Come on, Cable totally would have trained X-Force on Robert’s Rules of Order. (X-Force #106)

“Well, you’re looking at a version of it that doesn’t yet have nearly enough black leather.” (X-Force #106)

Upon further consideration: yeah, Meltdown totally designed all of these. (X-Force #107)

Bedlam’s new powers! (X-Force #107)

Meltdown’s new powers! (X-Force #107)

Proudstar’s new powers! (X-Force #107)

“You see, I have the mutant gene for murder.” (X-Force #107)

Domino understood the fashion assignment. (X-Force #108)

Remember, you can shoot the eyeball for double damage. (X-Force #108)

Spy stuff. (X-Force #108)

First you murder all of the children at this birthday party, and then you have the gall to criticize the host’s baking? (X-Force #108)

Meet these guys! But don’t get too attached. (X-Force #108)

But that doesn’t… it looks nothing like… ah, never mind. (X-Force #108)

You can read the entirety of New Mutants and X-Force as the history of Cannonball learning to turn. (X-Force #109)

I bet he’s using his Cable voice for this threat. (X-Force #109)

Tsung has probably seen The Matrix like, a lot. (X-Force #109)

That’s our Tabitha! (X-Force #109)

Mr. Giger sends his regards. (X-Force #109)

NEXT TIME: Claremont’s back!

As Mentioned in Episode 480 – Cross-Time Tattoo Parlor

March 16, 2025 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

A non-dildo future. (X-Man #67)

That doesn’t seem healthy. (X-Man #67)

That really doesn’t seem healthy. (X-Man #67)

Wait, what? (X-Man #67)

It’s surprisingly hard to find a good panel of Nate’s full outfit. (X-Man #68)

Speaking of outfits, Queen Maddie knows how to dress for maximum drama! (X-Man #68)

Well, that can’t be good. (X-Man #68)

Oh, shit. (X-Man #68)

WHAT?! (X-Man #68)

This page is so cool. (X-Man #69)

Conversations with the dead. (X-Man #69)

Bad guys get the coolest cars. (X-Man #70)

Disaster averted. (X-Man #70)

Nate’s new look. (X-Man #70)

Probably for the best, really. (X-Man #70)

NEXT EPISODE: Shockwave comes to Generation X!

LINKS & FURTHER COMPLICATIONS

For more discussion of the ethics of consuming comics by creators you don’t want to support in general, and Warren Ellis in particular, listen to Episode 303 – No Simple Answers, feat. Laura Hudson.

As Mentioned in Episode 479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove

March 4, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Jay’s not wrong that the buildings look like giant dildos… but at least they look like fancy dildos! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)

Starring: a bunch of fashionable jerks, mostly! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)

Not a good look when your cops look just like the cops who used to oppress you… (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)

Magneto: Master of Magnetism and Monologues! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)

okay but what about the chest-skull (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)

That floaty platform has a heated floor, blind spot monitoring, and built-in GPS. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)

For all your chat reaction needs! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)

These here comical books are lookin’ pretty comical-booky. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)

Magneto talks to… someone! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)

We just like this cover. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)

Everybody fights everybody! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)

In which dust illustrates speed and impact! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)

It’s like the portrait-instead-of-landscape version of widescreen storytelling! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)

Father of the year. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)

To her credit, she does have all the Kirby Krackle. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)

Because Mister Sinister is the hidden force behind literally everything. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)

Rest in Ponytail, Fabian Cortez. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)

“Time to conceive some other on-again, off-again offspring who suck less.” (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)

NEXT TIME: X-Man!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

That thing about the cooking show and spreader bars and Namor that Jay was talking about
Information and pencils from Chris Claremont and Rick Leonardi’s canceled Phoenix miniseries

As Mentioned in Episode 478 – The Monologue Tube

February 23, 2025 Miles 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Alan Davis protests the death of Cyclops. (From this link)

X-teams, past to present. (At least the ones who still had comics in 2000.) (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Well, at least this time he’s leaving with someone other than those five motorcycle guys who could turn into a sixth motorcycle guy. (Uncanny X-Men #379)