Blog Posts – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 508 – Destiny’s Doodles

December 7, 2025 Jay Leave a comment

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A quick workout with Charles Xavier. (Uncanny X-Men #389)

At my funeral, I want a kazoo band. (Uncanny X-Men #389)

Joe Mactaggert is a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #389)

Rachel’s actually okay, but Kitty doesn’t know that yet. (Uncanny X-Men #389)

DAMNIT. (Uncanny X-Men #389)

I wonder how weird and specific Destiny’s diaries get. (Uncanny X-Men #389)

Bad times. (Uncanny X-Men #389)

Is this a bit? (X-Men #109)

They’re gonna hook up, and then everyone’s going to forget that Thunderthird ever existed. Poor guy. (X-Men #109)

Ye Olde Hot Chocolate Hall. (X-Men #109)

Seriously, though, what the hell? (X-Men #109)

Oh, my. (X-Men #109)

I love that instead of making the holy family generally mutant-looking, they straight-up used X-Men statues. (X-Men #109)

Coming soon: X-Treme X-Men! (X-Men #109)

Based on size, maybe it’s a box of tissues? (X-Men #109)

Wellp. (X-Men #109)

BEHOLD YOUR LEGACY (X-Men #109)

NEXT EPISODE: Colossus dies!

As Mentioned in Episode 507 – Comic Book Logic

November 30, 2025 Jay Leave a comment

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CD-Rs, our lost beloveds. (X-Force #114)

They’re so delightfully blasé about it. (X-Force #114)

X-Force swimsuit special! (X-Force #114)

Agent Corben. (X-Force #114)

One way to stealthily kidnap a man. (X-Force #115)

Still can’t get over how wildly impractical Tabitha’s cape is. (X-Force #115)

Go, team! (X-Force #115)

The World Engine is kinda icky. (X-Force #115)

*rimshot* (X-Force #115)

Damn, Emma. (Generation X #75)

This panel is mostly in here to spotlight Paige’s transcendently southern hair. (Generation X #75)

Damn, Emma. (Generation X #75)

Hee. (Generation X #75)

One of many hugs. (Generation X #75)

Gonna miss these kids. (Generation X #75)

NEXT EPISODE: More endings!

As Mentioned in Episode 506 – The House at the End of the World

November 30, 2025 Jay Leave a comment

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Totally irrelevant to this story, but cool design. (Cable #85)

They have to abbreviate the name for the phone book. (Cable #85)

SMUFF, tho (Cable #85)

This will never come up again, ever. (Cable #85)

Cable’s time suit. (Cable #85)

Gaunt, who is probably actually Kang. (Cable #85)

We are ALWAYS here for awkward Summers family hugs. (Cable #86)

SHIRTS OFF (Cable #86)

Whoops. (Cable #86)

An unlikely frienship. (Cable #88)

What the fuck, Nightcrawler? (Cable #88)

Do you want Major X? Because that’s how you get Major X. (Cable #88)

Here’s to you, Video Renaissance. (Cable #88)

NEXT EPISODE: Two endings.

As Mentioned in Episode 505 – The Amulet of Ass

November 9, 2025 Miles One comment

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Excalibur volume 2! But actually more like Captain Britain volume 2. (Excalibur #1)

Pretty sure we’ve all had that dream. (Excalibur #1)

What a sciencey science machine that is! (Excalibur #1)

You’d think Betsy’s face tattoo would remind Brian of the Crimson Dawn… But honestly, who remembers the Crimson Dawn? (Excalibur #1)

Where’s Waldo? (Or, this being a British story: Where’s Wally?) (Excalibur #1)

Some friend. (Excalibur #1)

Captain UK’s mullet remains sweet. (Excalibur #1)

Hi, Crusader X! (Excalibur #2)

Meggan didn’t get the memo that this was a crotch-first mission. (Excalibur #2)

…as played by Viggo Mortensen. (Excalibur #2)

I do love a good Team Hero pose. (Excalibur #2)

“It’s… probably one of these things on my back… Hang on…” (Excalibur #2)

The Brit-Cave! (Excalibur #2)

Subtlety! (Excalibur #3)

The greatest hero in history, chosen primarily for his… sperm? (Excalibur #3)

“Not, like, literally Excalibur. That thing’s in the next room.” (Excalibur #3)

An evil science machine! (Excalibur #3)

You guys used to be cuter. And less murderous. (Excalibur #3)

Gahhh, this panel is referencing a specific past panel from a specific past comic, but we can’t remember which! (Excalibur #3)

Sword of Omens, grant me sight beyond sight! (Excalibur #3)

Best trope best trope! (Excalibur #4)

Mastermind wields the blade Excalibur! Brian Braddock wields an especially dangerous word balloon! (Excalibur #4)

With the powers of elemental magic, telekinesis, and… sword! (Excalibur #4)

It works way better to sacrifice your queen when your queen is immune to death. (Excalibur #4)

“Hey, I liked my spikes, ya jerk!” (Excalibur #4)

The chamber would be filled with old familiar faces, but they’re all dead. (Excalibur #4)

…and no one ever spoke of this again. (Excalibur #4)

NEXT TIME: Rachel Summers is back!

As Mentioned in Episode 504 – One Day, Four Ways

November 7, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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Ooh, that Arthur Adams texture. (Generation X #71)

SKA! (Generation X #71)

Steve Pugh: master of body language, even when part of that body is psionic energy. (Generation X #71)

New (new) costumes! (Generation X #71)

That guy hates Animal Magnet. (Generation X #71)

I wish I could look half this cool. (Generation X #71)

Surprise telepathy! (Generation X #71)

And they lived happily ever – DAMMIT JONO (Generation X #71)

Fashion! (Generation X #72)

Note the “Cool shoes” box in the corner. Way better than the “horrible shoes” box just a little off-panel. (Generation X #72)

I’m gonna miss these kids. (Generation X #72)

It’ll be longer than that, Jubes, at least in the US. (Generation X #72)

Kids, amirite? (Generation X #72)

It’s kinda like that one scene from Fury Road… (Generation X #73)

Miles is feeling runner envy. (Generation X #73)

Oh, Sean. (Generation X #73)

I respect a dude who course-corrects. (And I don’t mean the almost-missed exit.) (Generation X #73)

For all your reaction image needs. (Generation X #73)

Not continuity-related, just fun. (Generation X #73)

Now that is how you show an off-panel injury. (Generation X #73)

That idiot brought a car to a finger-fight! (Generation X #73)

Another great cover! (Generation X #74)

“Glad I already pre-spiked this coffee.” (Generation X #74)

Husk in the Husk-Cave. (Generation X #74)

This is what happens when the teacher forgets to say “class dismissed”. (Generation X #74)

Spooooky. (Generation X #74)

Opinions vary on what those marks came from… (Generation X #74)

We don’t get to read it either. (Generation X #74)

NEXT TIME: Fast times in Otherworld!

As Mentioned in Episode 503 – Dream’s Anticlimax

October 19, 2025 Jay 3 comments

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No, seriously. (Uncanny X-Men #388)

Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #388)

A nonspecific explosion. (Uncanny X-Men #388)

So large. (Cable #87)

no but seriously how (Cable #87)

Bye, Post. (Cable #87)

One of his teammates has to draw the tattoo on every morning with a sharpie. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)

Every time they watch a movie, Wolverine carefully explains to his teammates that it’s not real. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)

Mother of the year. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)

Now kiss! (X-Men #108)

This is not subtext, although it may be an anagram of subtext. (X-Men #108)

NEXT EPISODE: SKA!

As Mentioned in Episode 502 – Milkshakes of Despair

October 19, 2025 Jay Leave a comment

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Alternately, maybe don’t date Ego the Living Planet. (Gambit #23)

Ma’am you are wearing all neon (Gambit #23)

“…the Terran name that has been given to my uniform: Carl!” (Gambit #23)

Lip massage. (X-Men #107)

Rogue knows how to turn a bad day into a good day. (X-Men #107)

TBH, same, Rogue. (X-Men #107)

It’s cool; he’s into it. (X-Men #107)

Welcome back, Bishop! (X-Men #107)

There’s something going on with Colossus’s arms that I don’t entirely understand. (X-Men Unlimited #29)

okay but by this token HALF THE EARTH HAS BEEN ENTIRELY DESTROYED and i am pretty sure this is not addressed post-event (X-Men Unlimited #29)

I know this is a really serious moment; but also, oh, my. (X-Men Unlimited #29)

I find this panel very funny. That’s all. (X-Men Unlimited #29)

NEXT EPISODE: Dream’s rather anticlimactic end!

As Mentioned in Episode 501 – A Bag of Cloacae (Maximum Security, Part 1 of 2)

October 12, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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Now that we look at them again, the D’Bari were really more Asparagus People than Broccoli People. (Uncanny X-Men #387)

What’s wrong with this picture? (Uncanny X-Men #387)

…I mean, Corsair does make some good points. (Uncanny X-Men #387)

In honor of Cerise: lip massage time! (Uncanny X-Men #387)

“C’mon, mess with us – make our day!!” (Uncanny X-Men #387)

Hey, it’s a Darkmantle! And also yet another instance of a character getting swallowed and slimed! (Uncanny X-Men #387)

That panel reference, though. (Uncanny X-Men #387)

In which Max Power discovers raves. (Iron Man #35)

In which Max Power improves raves. (Iron Man #35)

It’s magic dirt. (Iron Man #35)

What I love is that this scene implies that the spore of Ego the Living Planet has a detailed understanding of retro-idyllic middle America. (Iron Man #35)

PORCH GUY MOUTH (Iron Man #35)

Ego, the Living Town. (Iron Man #35)

Babies always look cuter to their parents than to anyone else. (Iron Man #35)

Welcome back, Bishop! (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

He’s about to say “Micro Machines.” He’s missed them in his time away. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

I don’t know how to say this, man, but I don’t think your girlfriend is good for you. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

“If you’d like to know more, son, just listen to Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men episodes 387 through 500.” (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

“And your nose.” (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

Man, I missed this guy. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

I feel like Deathbird played the “I’m not touching you” game a lot as a kid. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

Aww, these two. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)

NEXT TIME: Maximum Security concludes!

As Mentioned in Episode 499 – Light Me, Boy!

September 14, 2025 Miles One comment

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We just want them to be happy! (X-Force #110)

That Jorge Lucas sure can draw. (X-Force #110)

GUN ARMS GUN ARMS (X-Force #110)

“The dishes… are done.” (X-Force #110)

“I mean, I’m going to space to get married and have a kid eventually, but not, like, yet.” (X-Force #110)

Next up is the PowerPoint presentation. (X-Force #110)

That shirt is held together by the sheer power of the Comics Code Authority. (X-Force #111)

X-FOOOOORRRRRCCCEEE (X-Force #111)

I guess they take after their dad? Kind of? (X-Force #111)

Deep (cerebral) tissue massage. (X-Force #111)

Listen, Valentina, the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb! And I guess the green liquid in those lady-tubes is maybe somewhere in between! (X-Force #111)

In which the link between SHIELD and OSI from The Venture Bros is even more obvious than usual. I think it’s the inking. (X-Force #112)

Timely… (X-Force #112)

Racal x-plains his extremely belated remorse. (X-Force #112)

I guess those lava lamp babies actually had it kind of good. (X-Force #112)

X-Force has always been a subtle book. (X-Force #113)

Yep. Subtle. (X-Force #113)

Half a world away, Cable smiles and doesn’t know why. (X-Force #113)

Awesome x4 (X-Force #113)

Striptease speedrun! (X-Force #113)

NEXT TIME: Somehow we’ve made 500 of these?!

Jay’s X-Major Arcana

0 Fool – Wolverine (Logan)
1 Magician – Forge
2 High Priestess – Storm
3 Empress – Emma Frost
4 Emperor – Cyclops
5 Hierophant – Charles Xavier
6 Lovers – Gambit and Rogue
7 Chariot – Magneto
8 Justice – Bishop
9 Hermit – Mystique
10 Wheel of Fortune – Destiny
11 Strength – Mirage with Wolfsbane
12 Hanged Man – Havok (alt. Iceman)
13 Death – Archangel
14 Temperance – Nightcrawler
15 Devil – Sebastian Shaw
16 Tower – Quentin Quire
17 Star – Hope
18 Moon – Magik
19 Sun – Shadowcat
20 Judgement – Phoenix
21 World – Krakoa

As Mentioned in Episode 498 – Home Depot Ossuary

September 14, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

The Twisted Sisters: “Never heard of ’em.” (X-Men #105)

Torque. Pretty sure that’s not the Invisible Woman in there. (X-Men #105)

Dun dun dun dun dun, Inspector Coil (X-Men #105)

More Logan backstory! MORE! (X-Men #105)

Does Nightcrawler teleport out of his clothes at the end of the day? (X-Men #105)

Psylocke should have worn her unstable cocktail dress. (X-Men #105)

A building sealed with the impenetrable perfection of boards. (X-Men #106)

I submit that if the Neo losing their powers for a few weeks could do this, there maaaaaay have been some flaws with their civilization. (X-Men #106)